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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder what is the point of "save the date "cards

51 replies

moogster1a · 17/10/2011 13:13

I don't get it. TBH I've only just found out they exist. So people get these printed out and then 6 months later print out more invites and send them out? What is the point. Just send out the one card at the beginning with the date and times on.
Or am I missing out on another example of "I'm getting married, must spend the GDP of a small country"

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 17/10/2011 13:16

I can see the point if you have family and friends that you really want to make it, especially if it is an event at a busy time of the year.

I wouldn't do it. I just phone people I really really want to go and tell them when it will be. Everyone else just gets an invitation.

Red2011 · 17/10/2011 13:17

I made some a few months back for my sister - and then later made the invites, order of service cards and other trimmings.
The idea of them for her was that there were some people she really wanted to have at the wedding, so the cards served as a 'heads up' not to commit to anything on that day well in advance. The invites did go out about 6 weeks later but as it was a summer wedding, the main plan was to ensure that 'key people' were not on their holidays.
I wouldn't pay a company to print them or buy stationery if I didn't have to, I tend to make a lot of my cards myself. It's far more personal and a whole lot cheaper.

Original poster
moogster1a · 17/10/2011 13:18

But if it's for people you really want there, just send the invites out earlier.

OP posts:
altinkum · 17/10/2011 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tyler80 · 17/10/2011 13:21

Actually the save the date cards I've had have been for the more informal (and inexpensive) weddings I've been to. It's saying we're getting married on this date but haven't finalised arrangements yet. So people can choose to keep that date free and they'll get the details later.

BellaBearisWideAwake · 17/10/2011 13:22

The only save the date card I have seen was for well over a year in the future. Let people know not to book a holiday but was too early for all times to be conformed.

whackamole · 17/10/2011 13:23

Well, we have sent them because our wedding although not till June next years falls on the Jubilee long weekend. As people invariably book holidays long in advance for BH we thought it would be prudent to let them know NOT to do this.

We haven't finalised what we will actually be doing on the day, which is why we haven't sent the invites yet.

MitrochondrialEve · 17/10/2011 13:24

I never had save the date cards, but I have just thought of a reason why they might be useful - if you don't have the timings all arranged but have the day reserved with your venue. It's possible to have booked an evening reception, but still be arranging timings for ceremony, dress code, etc.

I would probably just phone people...

duvetdayplease · 17/10/2011 13:24

The point is you sort the date (let's say you book the first aspect - church or reception venue) but haven't finalised your plans so can't give out all the info that far ahead.

We did them as we didn't know if we could afford an evening do til nearer the time, so we got the date out to family early as they'd have been invited to whatever was planned, then did the formal invites once everything was organised.

YABU, they're actually rather useful (and have meant I have attended more weddings as I have saved the dates!)

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 17/10/2011 13:25

I never really understood them either OP.

We didn't have time to send them really, our wedding was organised very quickly and it was all we could do to get the invites out in time.

Altinkum's explanation makes sense though.

PorkChopSter · 17/10/2011 13:25

I have been sent one - except it doesn't say who is invited or who to contact to ask. So do I spend 6 months trying to find a babysitter or no?

CMOTdibbler · 17/10/2011 13:25

Save the date makes sense to me - we are often booked up 6 months or more ahead (especially as I travel for work). It says 'we've booked the church/registrar and venue, but haven't tightened up any other details' - the invite will then tell me about local hotels etc once they have had a chance to think about it all

OhdearNigel · 17/10/2011 13:26

Scenario - I set wedding date for 1 year's time but haven't got details (venue, time etc) sorted yet. I don't want my best friend/Aunty Joan to book holiday for that day so I send a save the date, then full details are put on the full invite.

LoveInAColdGrave · 17/10/2011 13:26

You can hardly send the invitations out a year in advance! I think a card or email is a good idea - people have busy lives, espcially during wedding/holiday season.

Most summers we end up missing a wedding we would have liked to attend because it clashes with something else (usually another wedding!). If we have had a save the date card/email and so been able to put it on the calendar well in advance, that will be the wedding we attend as we knew about it first.

squeakytoy · 17/10/2011 13:27

They are very useful. For example one of my friends has just booked her wedding for next August. Obviously she hasnt done the official invitations yet, but as the date is set, she is letting people know that they will be invited, so they can plan in advance.

rubyrubyruby · 17/10/2011 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hammy02 · 17/10/2011 13:31

I agree OP. I don't understand them either. I rang the people that absolutely had to be there (parents & siblings) before booking the date. That was it. The people I am close enough to that I would want them at the wedding, I would speak to regularly anyway so it would just crop up in conversation.

Fixture · 17/10/2011 13:32

Just send proper invitations when the time comes :)

"Save the date" doesn't give any details about what you'll be invited to. Why should you save the date for something if you don't know much about it?

If you want to let people know the date of a particularly special occasion, then tell them informally when you're chatting on the phone/email/in person. But IMO ordering people to "Save the Date" is impolite.

EdithWeston · 17/10/2011 13:36

We've just had one. I know they were sent out in that case to the key people they wanted there, but they haven't got all the details of the day sorted out, so can't yet send a full invitation with the proper times.

I does seem a little over-organised to me, but it is a way of tipping people off about what's coming and should maximise the chances of avoiding people getting double booked.

Not something I'd do, but harmless.

TwoJackRussellsandabean · 17/10/2011 14:01

We used them for everyone who was going to be invited to the whole day (mostly everyone on our list) about a year in advance, but that was mainly due to having a mid week wedding (anniversary of our first date as well as being a lot cheaper that way Grin) and wanting these people to be there to share the day with us, alot of them were coming from abroad so they needed to be able arrange travel etc. You can just get business cards printed up with the date etc, so really cheap.

MeconiumHappens · 17/10/2011 15:22

Save the dates are usually small little cards or fridge magnets, cheap as chips. I think theyre a good idea, have both sent and received them. A handy way to say 'dibs on this very popular sat in June' and give people lots of warning for getting time off etc. Formal invites normally only go out about 6 weeks before, although some peopl seem to send them way ahead, but i guess that because they didnt do save the dates!

NotJustClassic · 17/10/2011 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fixture · 17/10/2011 17:11

Embarrassing if you've agreed to "save the date" for something, then you get the invitation with full details and it's something you would rather have declined!

NorksAkimbo · 17/10/2011 17:17

We used them when we got married; we were living in China at the time, my family is in America, DH's family in England, and we wanted to make sure that we gave plenty of notice for people to book holiday time and get flights if they wanted to come. Our formal invitations were part of a package deal with our reception place, so we couldn't actually have them done until about 8 weeks before the wedding.

It worked well for us!

ChooChooWowWow · 17/10/2011 17:19

My niece sent some save the day cards out recently. She is having a child free wedding 500 miles away from us over 3 days.
This means we (and several other family members will be unable to go). I think she is well aware we wont be able to get 3 days child care so will not be able to go. The save the day card is a polite way of confirming our non attendance.
There is a request on the card for people who can't attend to let her know. I suppose it then makes it easier to arrange seating plans ect when you know for sure who will actually be able to attend.

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