to insist he returns to work

[SlightlyBemused]

AIBU to consider phoning a work colleague who has been on compassionate leave for more than 4 weeks and insist he returns to work?
The reason for the leave was the suicide of his only DS. He is understandably distraught and has my sympathy. I wish to give him all the time he needs, however pressure from above and critical work elements requiring his attention make me question; how long is long enough?

OP I feel for you, and for him poor poor bereaved man. But there is a part of me that thinks work is good for you sometimes as it gets you back to normality

all you can do is ask

and I cant see how NOT working will benefit him TBH

I agree with PattySimcox and ionysis.

Slightly I can't believe how much stick you're getting here and I have every sympathy with you. Managing people is really, really hard because everyone is different and has individual circumstances, and you sound like you're doing everything you can in a really difficult situation.

I just checked my employee handbook and the policies are very similar to that outlined by EvilVampireFrog above, and that's here in the UK - having worked with companies in the ME I don't think posters here appreciate the pressure you're probably under from your management to get him to return to work. The worst part of it is that his visa will be dependent on his job so you can't just tell him on a discretionary basis that he can take as long as he needs and hire someone else to cover.

Also, avoiding tax is not always the reason someone is working overseas, why are people jumping to this conclusion? You may be a trailing spouse, you may work in a field where the best job you could find was overseas, you may have wanted a challenge, there are myriad reasons besides not paying tax.

are you happy up there on that moral high ground MRSFRY?

MrsStephenFry We wear name badges with our national flags on

Your point is?

I (thankfully) have no experience of anything like this happening to me, so I hesitate to raise my head above the parapet, However the OP seems to be getting an undue amount of personal attack here. My husband works in professional services. If I or DS died, his contract allows him 2 days' compassionate leave. In total. If he falls ill, he will be paid for 10 days' illness per year. In total. And that's in the UK. It's obviously a devastating thing to happen to a person, but a business can set its own rules, especially within an ex-pat setting, and the OP is trying to do her best

Also MrsSF - anyone who has spent 10 minutes working in or with a ME company will know that the attitudes of local management are definitely different towards Asian staff compared with US/EU staff. I once drafted a template employment contract for a Saudi corporate under Saudi law and the client demanded totally different options to be chosen for Asian vs. UK staff, with the Asian sections being significantly less favourable towards the employees. That's bargaining power in action unfortunately.

It may be that he won't return, he might feel obliged to stay with his family in India or not be able to face leaving them. Is his wife there?

I feel for you being in a difficult position, OP. Maybe you should ask him if he has any kind of return date in mind and gently explain the pressure your bosses are putting on you and the need for somebody to do the work.

Oh, and ignore MrsSF.

I think that YABU, and the lack of compassion from your company is astounding - work pressures can do that to a person though, I understand that. You would be cruel to "insist", putting that pressure on him and what kind of state do you think he'll be in, not up to doing anywhere near a normal job that's for sure. Do you want him to leave if he can't come back asap? How long and how much cost would it take to recruit someone else? If you try this I really hope that someone in his family or a friend advises him to go to his GP and get signed off as unfit for work then you're in the same boat anyway aren't you?.Do the human thing, the right thing. One way or another he may be off for some more time to come, so be a good manager, explain this to your bosses and find a solution. One day you'll look back at this and wonder what you were even thinking.

And people still choose to work for them, that is the point. Saying "thats just the way it is" while you join in lining your pockets on the exploited labour of foreign worker is pathetic.

Why would you ignore me? I'm not an asian indentured servant.....

Addams - His family were with him and have all returned to India. It is possible they may not want to return

.

I used to live in the ME and understand where you're coming from.

For the jury, no-one has any employment rights in the UAE (not sure about other countries). You can basically be fired on the spot, whatever your nationality and I have heard first hand of many westerners being pretty badly treated (fired by SMS having not been paid the last 3 mths salary for example).

OP- I would call him and chat to him, explain the situation (which I'm sure he's aware of) because the alternative is he gets his marching orders with no prior warning. It may well be that you call him and he says "I don't care. Tell them to stick their job up their dish dash" but at least it's giving him the option.

Is this the UK??? If so not only are YBVU but you stand to end up breaching employment law. If he's signed off sick he's signed off sick and that is that , your only recourse is via company sick policy. Breach that at your peril and you'll be infront of a tribunal apart from every thing else already said about compassion/supporting a good worker and wanting him back when h can do his job properly

I had longer than that off work after an ectopic pregnancy.

You would be unreasonable to phone and insist that he returns.

Why dont you phone to see how he is getting on and ask what his plans are. He must know as well as you do what his job security is like, maybe he has no intention of returning.

You are joking, yes? I mean seriously, you're not that heartless. No-one is. You must be joking.

I'm reading the thread.

The OP is not responsble either for her own company's employment practises nor the labour laws in efect in the country she resides. Se is rying to do her best for her employee given the circumstances. And as pointed out here some companies in the UK have even more unsympathetic compassionate leave policies.

An expatriate workers visa, residency and legal work status in the host country is dependent upon them being IN the country and working. This is the law. Not some arbitrary decision of the OP.

It sounds like you have behaved in an ethical and responsible way. Its now a case of sensitvely communicating the situation to him and allowing him to make his plans to either return or remain in India.

"Am I happy that I don't work in a place with racist abusive work practices just for the cash?"

I agree its a shitty situation in the ME, but I am proud my company works there. because our work has meant that peoples lives have been saved, seriously. So not everyone is the ME is a money grabbing expat MRSFRY

Sometimes Western influences there can be a good a thing

Its a shitty world we live in, and I think OP is in a very hard place

But I guess she wants to do her best by this man and wants top vent

MrsSF, you're reading the thread, tell us what you would do in this situation. How would you help the poor guy who has just lost his son? If my own experience of companies in the Gulf is anything to go by, the OP is the only person standing between him and immediate dismissal, and it's likely there's nothing standing between her and immediate dismissal.