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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's fine for my son to have a doll?

57 replies

SouthernandCross · 15/10/2011 19:16

My 3 yo DS has finally given up his Thomas obsession and replaced it with one of his sisters' dolls. He calls it 'My baby' and he takes it everywhere, to the park, on the school run, to the shops and to nursery.
We get a lot of looks and have had a few total strangers laughing and commenting. One old lady told him he should be playing with cars, not dolls which left him very cross.
And then at nursery one of the new ladies was going on about how unusual it was for a boy to like dolls. Is it really that unusual? I think it's sweet.
DS has three older sisters who went through doll stages and I assume he'll replace the doll with something more 'masculine' eventually.
The only thing that worries me is the poor doll is naked. AIBU to go out and buy it some new clothes????

OP posts:

Trills · 15/10/2011 19:19

Of course it's fine for your son to have a doll.

If anyone expresses surprise, ask them "do men not look after babies then?"

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 15/10/2011 19:19

Yeah, buy it some clothes and tell the nitwits to sod off.

My sons had the whole range of toys, from cars and trains to dolls and kitchen sets. I hate trying to force gender specific toys and play on kids, like there's something wrong with a girl having a train set or a boy playing with a toy hoover. tsk.

ballroomblitz · 15/10/2011 19:23

I think it's cute. I used to play with my brothers soldiers and he played with my barbies.
My ds frequently tries to put on my bras and makeup (he's 4). Nothing wrong with it

Sirzy · 15/10/2011 19:23

Ds has a doll he loves it.

He is two soon and for his birthday/Christmas he has toys ranging from a baking set to a train track!

Young children don't apply gender stereotypes to toys, unfortunalty they learn them from the "girls toys/boys toys" people

MonsterBookOfHorrors · 15/10/2011 19:23

YANBU My ds has a newborn baby doll, I got it just before dd was born so he could focus on the doll rather than dd whilst I was nappy changing.
Get it some clothes and let him have fun. :)

Original poster

SouthernandCross · 15/10/2011 19:24

Thanks you two. I was pretty sure it was fine, but a couple of other mothers of boys have insinuated that it's unusual and their boys weren't interested in dolls.
Have just bought it some pyjamas, and dug out the doll sling my DD's used to use. DS is delighted :)

OP posts:

nailak · 15/10/2011 19:24

seriously there is nothin weird about it.

my mum teaches reception and says the boys love home corner stuff, probably coz they not allowed to do it at home.

Splinters · 15/10/2011 19:25

Horrible people and their stupid weird looks, no doubt they would prefer it if he was running around pretending to shoot things rather than learning to look after and care for something.

Masculinity and femininity are hugely overrated concepts, both of them.

TidyDancer · 15/10/2011 19:25

YANBU. DS has dolls and DD will have cars.

I hate gender stereotyping.

blackoutthesun · 15/10/2011 19:26

ffs (not you op) its a toy

nothing wrong with a child playing with a toy

helpmabob · 15/10/2011 19:26

Of course its fine. Whst isn't fine is these randoms commenting on your son's toy - what idiots! My ds loves playing with his baby dolly. IME these dolls always end up naked because they love pulling the clothes off which inevitably get lost. Is it an anatomically correct doll?

GhoulieGussets · 15/10/2011 19:26

That's lovely OP. People can be so bloody daft, can't they?

My DS1 had one of those cheap dolly push chair thingies, as he liked pushing it around, but no dollies, as he wasn't paternal.

BTW, I think they do dolly pushchairs in Asda for about a fiver, I reckon he would be delighted with one.

staylucky · 15/10/2011 19:30

Aww have fun buying the clothes! Almost snuck a my 1st baby annabel into the trolley for DS this aft until I saw it was £15!!!

electra · 15/10/2011 19:33

YANBU at all! It makes me so angry when people try to project their prejudices onto other people. Tell them to mind their own bloody business.

bemybebe · 15/10/2011 19:34

My feminist greatgrandmother was encouraging my dgf to play with doll (i remember her telling me that!). That said he had boy dolls only, but it was already "brave"... that was back in the 1920s.

My dgf was a fighter pilot in WWII, a highly decorated hero and a very happy family men and a bit of a lady's lad also.

electra · 15/10/2011 19:35

I think it's much better not to encourage gender stereotyping. We are all totally sick of Pink & Blue ELC colour codes for children.

choceyes · 15/10/2011 19:35

My nearly 3yr old DS loves dolls!

When we are at a toddler group he always wants to push the toy prams and put a doll to push around and then he will lift the doll out of the pram and pretend to breastfeed is saying baby is having milk...it's sooo cute! Nobody has ever made a comment about him doing this.

We have actually got a soft doll from Ikea with a set of outfits for it, as one of his 3rd birthday presents. He is going to love it!

I have a 14 month old DD too, and she loves playing with DS's cars when she gets the opportunity (not very much as DS is very protective of his car collection).

HazleNutt · 15/10/2011 19:37

is it fine for fathers to take care of their children? Well then it's fine for boys to play with dolls as well.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 15/10/2011 19:38

They're idiots. One of the perks of havinga girl first and then a boy is that very few people raise eyebrows at my 3yo ds raiding his sisters dressing up box and playing with her dolls. He loves TOYS full stop, he doesn't care, and nor should anyone else, that they're labelled 'girls toys'. Their problem entirely, not yours. We're going to get ds his own doll to look after to prepare for new baby's arrival and anyone who thinks that's odd can get lost. I did it for dd too.

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 15/10/2011 19:39

wasn't this done just the other day?

minimisschief · 15/10/2011 19:41

nothing against the gender objection people have but personally i would hate my son or daughter when she is older to play with dolls.

Reasoning being they are creepy for starters and they do not do anything cool.

Original poster

SouthernandCross · 15/10/2011 19:42

Helpmabob, no not anatomically correct. It's one of those weird ones with a cloth body and plastic half limbs. I think I've added a photo.
Will dig out the dolls prams too.

OP posts:

FairyArmadillo · 15/10/2011 19:42

Yes, there was another thread about little boys and prams. Don't see the big deal. My DS is 3 and has two prams and a doll. I find it's usually the men with the issues about it. Though one of my female friends laughed at him watching Peppa Pig as she said it was for girls....

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 15/10/2011 19:45

mine had bob and bess dolls and loved them, had backpack, bath, bottle etc for them nd I got pissed off at people saying he's a boy whys he got a doll..... er cos he likes it

SurprisEs · 15/10/2011 19:45

I have a girl. Her favourite toy is a train set. Dare someone make a comment on it and they will get a f off from me and I don't even swear.

Men look after babies too. And men can work in careers that involve caring for another human. There is nothing wrong with a boy playing with a doll or tea set or kitchen set. It's part of being creative and putting your brain at work.

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