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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's fine for my son to have a doll?

57 replies

SouthernandCross · 15/10/2011 19:16

My 3 yo DS has finally given up his Thomas obsession and replaced it with one of his sisters' dolls. He calls it 'My baby' and he takes it everywhere, to the park, on the school run, to the shops and to nursery.
We get a lot of looks and have had a few total strangers laughing and commenting. One old lady told him he should be playing with cars, not dolls which left him very cross.
And then at nursery one of the new ladies was going on about how unusual it was for a boy to like dolls. Is it really that unusual? I think it's sweet.
DS has three older sisters who went through doll stages and I assume he'll replace the doll with something more 'masculine' eventually.
The only thing that worries me is the poor doll is naked. AIBU to go out and buy it some new clothes????

OP posts:
Fixture · 15/10/2011 19:49

Of course it's fine for a boy to have a doll :)

If other people are sexist that's their problem - just ignore.

exoticfruits · 15/10/2011 19:49

I don't know why you need to question it. Does he want clothes on it?

HenriettaPepperpot · 15/10/2011 19:52

I don't see why he shouldn't have a doll! Or why girls shouldn't have toy cars for that matter.
I used to prefer teddies to dolls - the one doll we had was called Baldie as we pulled her hair out

PandorasSocks · 15/10/2011 19:53

My little boy (now 6) when he was 2/3 had a doll and a buggy. He loved to take his baby for a walk around the house, change its nappy and feed it. It was all very cute. He even picked his doll up one day and passed it on to his sister, declaring in worn out tones "your turn... I've had her all day." (can't think where he got that little gem from...)

He's now ever so grown up and chooses to play with Dr Who figures, Ben 10 and the like, but I often catch him playing with his sister and her Barbies which is fine, especially as he styles their hair quite nicely Grin

Original poster
SouthernandCross · 15/10/2011 19:53

My girls all loved cars and trains, so I don't see any problem with DH having a doll myself. it's just everyone is acting so surprised. And one friend did that 'well, in theory it's fine but personally ....' thing.
I don't know if he wants clothes on it but will put them on and see what he does. If he takes them off again, then fine. I think he'll probably like them.

OP posts:
Rollon2012 · 15/10/2011 19:53

Aw my DS does this not with dolls generally tiger/tigger/bear toys and higs its and says 'baayybeee'

and also has a huge Car/thomas obsession lol

OvOntToSuckYourBlood · 15/10/2011 19:55

My DS3 is getting a Baby Annabel doll for his 4th birthday next month. It's what he asked for.

He's just doing what Daddy does.

Though he looks like a girl (long hair) so I doubt anyone will say anything about it. I'll just tell them not to be such a dick if they do. No I won't, but I will pull a Hmm face and tell them not to be so ridiculous.

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/10/2011 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

4madboys · 15/10/2011 20:03

not unreasonable at all, my 6yr old has a doll, we bought it for him when his little brother (ds4) was born and he still plays with it now and takes it to bed with him.

SurprisEs · 15/10/2011 20:05

My dad is definitly a macho man kind of guy but web he was ok with my step brother playing with my barbie mantion and pini pons farm!

zipzap · 15/10/2011 20:37

When ds1 was about 2 we were trying to use bribery wall charts to encourage him to eat better etc and allowed him to choose his own rewards so he would know what he was working towards and want it.

First time around he wanted his own Hoover (actually he wanted a real dyson but we compromised on an elc green one instead! :) ) and the next time he wanted a baby doll. He got both; his Hoover was really well played with and still is loved by ds2. Ds1 loves the real thing most, I'm not complaining as it means he thinks it is a treat to be allowed to do the hoovering which is a win win situation for everyone :)

And Babydoll (no fancy naming strategies!) is still (at 6) his most beloved thing, always tucked under his arm in bed, first thing he wants if he is poorly and will happily sit with him 'playing' cars, bakugan, Ben 10 or whatever the game of the moment is for 6 yr olds :). I think it's sweet and lovely that he has got a beloved thing that he lives and gets comfort from. Dh would prefer it to be a masculine teddy!

AnonyMaw · 15/10/2011 20:43

My DS is going through a dolly phase, he's only 20 months old, but he plays nicely with all his sisters dolls, giving them cuddles and walks in the buggy. I'm thinking about buying him his own doll as DD's are a bit old and manky after being left in the sandpit for months. DH is being a bit strange about it though.

I found this really cute boy doll but it's so expensive I've not gone and bought it yet, probably won't either. It really looks a lot like my DS!

ouryve · 15/10/2011 20:50

YANBU.

I've bought dolls for both of my boys. A boy doll for DS1 when I was pregnant with DS2 and a weeing boy doll for DS2 in an attempt to help him make a connection with what his willy's for (he has ASD and is still in nappies).

DS2 tortured his doll quite routinely and both dolls are still lying around, completely starkers. We also have a dress up doll with clothes with lots of different fastenings. Also starkers.

whackamole · 15/10/2011 20:50

My boys love playing with dolls! They love my dolly that was bought for me when I was 2, they dress her and undress her all the time, take her for walks in the pushchair (that I bought totally separately to encourage them to walk) and put her to bed in the moses basket.

It reminds me of someone commenting that it's ok for girls to say they want to be a mummy when they grow up, but boys are expected to have an actual profession.

herecomesthsun · 15/10/2011 21:05

DS has said he would like to be a mummy! I'm afraid I told him that was a bit unlikely, but he could be a lovely daddy like his dad (I am WOHM, dad is primary carer).

DS, now 3, has loved tearing round with a buggy at nursery and had races with his little boy chums. Am expecting DC2 and offered to get him a dolly but he said, no dollies are for girls...

HeadlessForHocusPocus · 15/10/2011 21:07

I now run a busy playgroup that I have attended for the last 9 years and I have observed it is largely the boys that make a beeline for the dolls and buggies. IMO that is because many of them aren't bought/aren't allowed dolls at home. They absolutely love it and there is nothing wrong with it.

sayithowitis · 15/10/2011 22:50

Both mine had dolls. DC1 had (an anatomically correct) baby boy doll and Dc2 had a baby girl doll. They also had teasets, toy vacuum cleaners, baking sets etc as well as more 'male' toys. They have grown into well balanced young men/adults. I really don't understand why it is such a big deal.

PetisaPumpkinHead · 15/10/2011 22:54

YANBU he's learning about nurturing, looking after, loving and caring for "someone" smaller than him which is v important for both boys and girls.

Sevenfoldedbloodybodies · 15/10/2011 22:57

yanbu
ds was never interested in dolls, but my nephew was and had one. can't see a problem with it in anyway
but yes you should dress the poor doll

sillybillies · 15/10/2011 23:14

Nothing wrong with it. Let him play with the dolls.

mummymeister · 15/10/2011 23:59

My son had a barbie. he used to run it over with one of his cars and then take her to hospital and operate on her. his sisters were livid when they found out.

blackeyedsusan · 16/10/2011 00:29

I took ds to the toy shop to spend his birthday money. he was offered several things but chose a bright pink "baby". baby has also acquired a high chair and he feeds baby and cooks her tea in the toy kitchen. he wwould not be separated from baby for a while. he told baby he was off to bed earlier and "night night"

h's face was disgusted when ds unwrapped the baby. we have just had the photos developed and ds's face is delighted.

incidently dd chose a train track bridge for her present.

someone on here posted to ask whether they were trying to impose gender stereotyping onto ds. it is a good response. (thanks)

unpa1dcar3r · 16/10/2011 08:30

OP he will make a wonderful father one day. Smile
PS My 13 year old DS has a doll (He is severely learning disabled) and I love it that he is so kind and caring to want to cuddle his 'baby'.

kiwimumof2boys · 16/10/2011 08:48

My DS (nearly 4) used to love dolls around when his little brother was born. he used to call them 'little babies.' Thats what he saw them as. Like someone else said, kids that age don't apply gender stereotypes. Shame some adults do . . .

seeker · 16/10/2011 09:03

And bear in mind that most of the looks and pointing and laughing are either not directed at you at all- no thinly like doing something slightly unusual to make it feel as if the whole world is looking at us-or actually just noticing how sweet your ds looks.

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