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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a peculiar thing to say, a bit mean

46 replies

witherhills · 12/10/2011 22:48

yes, this is about my 5th mil thread, sorry but it has been a bit extreme
Mil leaving to go back to Aus tomorrow, been here for 5 weeks nearly
So I told her today that DS said he wanted her to stay forever, nice little anecdote.
She turns to him and says, no, if I lived here we wouldn't get on. Shock
What does that mean?
She really doesn't like him and she's just pretending?
Or he gets on her nerves?
She has made no bones about the fact that she thinks he whinges and moans too much
He does, but he is also completely out of his routine with her here. We have to do everything differently
Poor DS, he's not even 4!

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 12/10/2011 22:49

Very mean.

TheEarlOfDoncaster1963 · 12/10/2011 22:49

What a strange thing to say to a child. If she really HAD to say it, why not say "oh, you would soon get bored of me if you saw me every day!" in a cheerful way...

All children get on our nerves at time, but to imply to a child that his own grandma would not like to see him all the time IS mean and unnecessary. Thank god she's gone!

Kayano · 12/10/2011 22:51

A bit of bad wording there but maybe she means if she is there all the time, the time they would spend together would not be so special because it would be 'the norm'

Don't know as not seen your other friends but could be? On the otter hand she could be a right mean old bag Grin

ChippingIn · 12/10/2011 22:51

Bloody hell - what a nasty, nasty cow.

What did DS do/say?

Have you bought the champagne yet??

Original poster
witherhills · 12/10/2011 22:56

I thought I might have been overreacting
She annoys me so much now

She doesn't seem to have any internal check on what she says, it's almost like she speaks before she thinks
She stopped right then as if she realised it wasn't a nice thing to say

DS didn't pay it much attention, he was watching tv

I think she is an old cow, no wonder dh is messed up

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 12/10/2011 23:00

ah, so she didnt actually say it to him, she said it to you while he wasnt really listening...

Original poster
witherhills · 12/10/2011 23:00

She once said to me that she was having a conversation with my mother about my niece(who is very bright). And all the time she was thinking, well she cant be that clever,my son(dh) could do that much earlier.
Why say that to me, slagging off my mum and my niece in the same sentence?
We might all think those type of things, but we don't say it out loud!

OP posts:
Original poster
witherhills · 12/10/2011 23:01

No she said it directly to him, said his name too

OP posts:
Original poster
witherhills · 12/10/2011 23:07

Ah bollocks, this time tomorrow she will be on the plane, and I won't have to deal with her for at least 6 months

I know he's a lovely child, his behaviour is normal 4 year old stuff
He is happy, funny, affectionate, loves his friends at nursery, loves my family to bits, his cousins. Even his swimming teacher thinks he's adorable

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 12/10/2011 23:26

6 months - why again so soon

ChippingIn · 12/10/2011 23:28

I'm sure he is lovely :)

You just don't say that to a child even if you think it - you say, oh that's lovely. I'd love that too...

HerScaryness · 12/10/2011 23:46

of course, her comment now lends itself nicely....

"MIL, on consideration, you were right, if you lived with us, we wouldn't get on, so we thought it best if you stay at a B&B, that way you can have your routine and we can have ours and we'll all get on nicely... " Grin

notlettingthefearshow · 12/10/2011 23:48

cow!

AnyPhantomFucker · 12/10/2011 23:49

give her plane the bird as she flies off over the horizon Grin

notlettingthefearshow · 12/10/2011 23:53

It does sound like something my MIL would say. She's prone to commenting on how thick DH is (makes me so :( - he has Masters and a professional job too. The only one in his family to get beyond O levels).

I really, really try not to take it personally because I know she speaks before she thinks and cannot possibly mean things how they sound, so I try to ignore it. But I know if she spoke like this to our child (1st baby due in Dec), I would not be able to tolerate it.

ShriekingLisa · 13/10/2011 00:10

What a nasty thing to say

eaglewings · 13/10/2011 00:15

So glad to hear that you are still alive and the 5 weeks are up, congratulations
Oh and YANBU, doubt anything will surprise you about her soon!

AllGoodNamesGone · 13/10/2011 00:25

She's probably aware that she's been driving you mental and thinks that, if she stayed much longer, DS would get sick of her too!

hardcolin · 13/10/2011 00:30

witherhills you have my MIL!!!

Yes, I agree, she is a cow.
Wave and smile when she leaves.
And thank your lucky stars that she only visits for 5 weeks and not 8-10 weeks like my MIL (who also lives overseas)

Wave and smile... waaaave and smile Grin

sunnydelight · 13/10/2011 06:04

I would assume she has a dry sense of humour (like many Aussies) and she's probably forgotten how literal small children are. I can't believe how many people think she's being nasty!

FiveBells · 13/10/2011 06:21

I'm Australian Sunny and I don't think that comment was funny, I think is was mean. And rude. And weird. Crack open the fizz when the taxi leaves your door OP Wink

Original poster
witherhills · 13/10/2011 11:40

I still have to take her to the airport
DS has to come too.
Not long now

OP posts:
eaglewings · 13/10/2011 11:46

Is the bottle of bubbly chilling in the fridge?

Original poster
witherhills · 13/10/2011 11:58

I'm thinking of throwing a party actually Grin

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Original poster
witherhills · 13/10/2011 13:41

She is bossing the cleaner about now, poor woman

She insisted on taking her bedding off, and washed it while i was out this morning. now its not dry, but shes put the duvet cover back on. The cleaner wants to do her job and finish it off. I told her she didn't have to do it and I could just give the cleaner another set.

I give up

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