Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell them to piss off?!

325 replies

BabyMama212 · 10/10/2011 21:14

I've got a beautiful 3-month-old son, he was 9lb 4 at birth and is now a rather hefty 14lb 1lb. Today I gave him his first taste of baby rice and he loved it.

The reasons why I gave him baby rice today are as follows:

  • He started sleeping through the night at seven weeks, but now he wakes for a feed again.
  • Halfway through his feed he tries to physically push his bottle away, then complains because he is still hungry
  • He chews his hands before and after each feed
  • He is absolutely fascinated with our food and drink
  • He tries to pick up our food
  • God help us if we sit down to a meal and he isn't there. He'll even wake up from a nap if he realizes we're eating without him.
  • He refuses to nap during the daytime when before he would sleep for two hours at a time and then be awake for 4-5. And if he DOES nap, he'll sleep for maybe half-an-hour, then get grumpy because he is very tired.

The trouble is that obviously, this incited the wrath of several mums I know who went ballistic on me for weaning before the 17-week mark. I've said that it's my decision, all of the signs are there and they've been there long enough for me to know that this isn't just a growth-spurt but a real thing, but of course they won't listen. One even borderline-accused me of child abuse.

I've told them to butt out and stop being so judgeypants, as I didn't judge them on deciding to start their child on pureéd food at the age of eight months, but they've really upset me.

I realize that the guidelines are there for a reason... but guidelines and just that - GUIDELINES! Aren't they? I'm prepared for abuse from other people on here, but I just want to know.... AIBU?!

OP posts:
PootlePosyPerkin · 10/10/2011 21:57

Jesus Christ eyebrows - everyone born throughout the 70's, 80's & 90's should be waiting for organ failure then? How will the NHS ever manage? Hmm.

HidingInTheBathroom · 10/10/2011 21:57

My stupid HV went mad about me weaning my daughter early. The HV would not listen to me when I told her my speech and language told me to do so because she could not take liquids very well. Due to a condition.

Your child your choice

isthisweird · 10/10/2011 21:57
troisgarcons · 10/10/2011 21:58

I didn't say 'research' is tosh - I merely said 'guidelines change' .... every culture has different ways.....we don't co-sleep - virtually every other culture does - we put babies in nother room at an early age - virtually no other culture does.

Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one.

Blueberties · 10/10/2011 21:59

Yes I don't know anyone now or then with organ failure either. I didn't carry out any population sized double blind studies though.

BatsUpMeNightie · 10/10/2011 22:00

I want to know what regressive autism is and whether baby rice causes it.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 10/10/2011 22:01

My DS is 4 months old and is doing a lot of what you describe- messing about at bottle time and waking in the night despite being a good sleeper etc. Never occurred to me he's ready to wean (although DP is desperate to wean him for some strange reason Hmm). However, he is teething (yet again) and seems to be having a growth spurt too.

A HV I used to have told me if baby starts waking in the night, feeding loads more, messing about at bottle time etc then it's best to wait a week or so before weaning them incase it's just a growth spurt or their teeth, which seems like sound advice to me.

I'm not going to say YABU or not but personally I don't plan to wean DS til he is aleast 5 months old and as close to 6 as possible. Didn't wean DD til she was 5 months and she was over 9lbs at birth. Don't get what baby's birth weight has got to do with weaning tbh Confused

Blueberties · 10/10/2011 22:01

Well this is gripping stuff. It must be terrifying having a baby these days. A nibble of carrot before six months and they risk regressive autism and organ failure. I really do feel sorry for mums sometimes, harried from pillar to post by people who know better than they do.

All the best op, I'm sure you are sensible and not pureeing peanuts.

tyler80 · 10/10/2011 22:01

Not everyone PPP, 30 years ago not everyone followed guidelines just like today.

OP is being unreasonable for feeding baby rice, because it's vile. Don't feed a baby something you're not prepared to eat yourself is my policy

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 10/10/2011 22:02

"buttonmoon78 Mon 10-Oct-11 21:53:17
In the interests of average, I'll ask her as I'm speaking to her tomorrow. I'm sure she'll love a MNer questioning her advice and expertise

Actually, I'm fairly sure she'll say that she regularly does. She's a very sensible lady. But I will ask and let you know."

ooh please do then! And give her a pom bear badge if she gives you the answer I want!

Blueberties · 10/10/2011 22:02

Sorry for being flippant about regressive autism. It's a real and serious thing. It's just not caused by baby rice.

Bossybritches22 · 10/10/2011 22:07

The theory behind later weaning was that a few years ago,when researchers looked at the steady rise of renal problems in the 40+ age group they thought it was linked to proteins & carbs being introduced too early into the diet. (my brother had a rusk in the bottom of his bottle at 8 weeks as he was a big hungry baby!)

This led them to advise later weaning as the theory was that although the baby COULD eat the over rich diet ,sometimes their kidneys struggled to cope with excreting the by-products at such an early age.

As with all these theories, there are those babies who aren't at risk for whatever reason. It's a one size fits all approach instead of giving a reasonable range of advice. As ever the professionals have to cater for the lowest level of common sense & issue a blanket response.

You have a big boy who is clearly developing,physically, to the same weight as a much older baby. I'm sure he'll be fine.!

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 22:09

YABU for coming on here and starting a bun fight.

Don't personally give a toss what you feed your kids (within reason) and when; your choice really ain't it and there's nought anybody else can do about it.

Poke 'em in the eye next time they badger and if they continue to harangue you then drown them in gloopy baby rice - that'll show 'em

buttonmoon78 · 10/10/2011 22:11

Well I'm confused now. What answer is it that you want shriiieeek?

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 22:12

p.s. my DS2 was 16 lbs at around 8 weeks (just a solid, long, big baby) and I didn't wean him until just shy of 6 months, but he showed no interest either.

That said, first thing he ate was a whole (large) banana Hmm

troisgarcons · 10/10/2011 22:14

BluebertiesMon 10-Oct-11 22:01:37

Well this is gripping stuff. It must be terrifying having a baby these days. A nibble of carrot before six months and they risk regressive autism and organ failure

I think I love you!

ChippingIn · 10/10/2011 22:17

^ am I still on MN?

PattySimcox · 10/10/2011 22:17

Blueberties it was DS' Consultant that mentioned that there was research in Japan and the US into a link between gut immaturity, early weaning and autism. I haven't looked into it as DS is now a teenager so weaning is not an issue for us.

squeakytoy · 10/10/2011 22:18

"The theory behind later weaning was that a few years ago,when researchers looked at the steady rise of renal problems in the 40+ age group they thought it was linked to proteins & carbs being introduced too early into the diet"

to quote my mum.... "well you know what thought did" Grin

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 10/10/2011 22:18

the answer I want is yes, she tells as many parents to delay weaning as she advises parents of "big, hungry" babies to wean early. Gives me faith in her advice to parents of the big hungries.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 10/10/2011 22:19

It's since they discussed having tickers Chipping

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
24 hours since my last poo

Original poster
BabyMama212 · 10/10/2011 22:21

I'd just like to say as well... I started this genuinely. I'm not doing it just to brag about my baby or anything like that - I honestly want some sense! Because these bloody women are making me feel awful - they are being very harsh, and I've known then YEARS! It just feels like they've turned on me, so I love everyone who is giving their honest opinion!

OP posts:
4madboys · 10/10/2011 22:23

my boys were all 18lb + at 12wks and none of them weaned until 6mths, even ds1 who is 12, the guidlines were 4-6mths when he was little and when i researched it the evidence was that it was best to wait till 6mths, plus history of allergies in my family so i was very careful.

i dont care what anyone else does and would only offer my experience if someone actually ASKED for it.

squeakytoy · 10/10/2011 22:23

OP, just DONT tell them.. you dont have to you know!

FeelMyWraith · 10/10/2011 22:25

All the signs are that you have a 3 month old. Not signs of weaning readiness at all. If they can sit unaided, lost the tongue thrust reflex and can pick up and put food in their mouth, chew and swallow, they're probably ready.

The guidelines don't state all babies will be ready on x date btw. They quite clearly say 'around' or 'about' this time their guts are ready and they explicitly state that you should be led by your child and they aid you in this by listing the actual signs of readiness and debunking the myths. How that's not encouraging you to look at your baby, I've no idea.

Weight, night waking and watching you, bugger all to do with anything other than being a baby.

And instincts will never, ever tell you that your baby's gut has matured. You do not have a window into their gut. You can know that they're hungry, no more, no less. Only research will tell you when gut maturation happens and how we can read the external signs of it happening.

Oh and 'changes all the time'? Guidelines have been 6 months since 2003 and were 4-6 months for 20yrs before this. So one minor shift in nearly 30yrs.

The actual guidelines.

Surprisingly, I'm not actually bothered by other people's choices but I hate this weaning bullshit bingo and misinformation.