to think that falling in your plate is not on at lunch?

[Hullygully]

So, Sunday lunch at a friend's yesterday. A couple that we know slightly are also invited. The woman who is very bright and very pleasant for the first hour, drinks so much that she is literally unable to speak (but doesn't stop trying), and we all carry on with lunch pretending that everything is normal and not laughing where she can see.

Is this normal? In any way?

Rhubarb - Same male friend as my story above once fell asleep midway through playing with Pam. And we didn't take pictures either. Oh no no no.

I think he is good! He is funny. What he said the other week about eating sixty thousand spiders every week in your sleep made me chuckle.

Anyway, I'm too busy gazing at his general crotch area when he is sat with his legs akimbo on the couch to notice much what he says. How Bleakley/Garraway can contain themselves sitting next to that is a wonder. I bet he smells delish as well.

Le sigh.

Shirley you want to meet up with mumsnetters to have sex? Is that what you said? You DIRTY DIRTY girl!

I can't be arsed to look up this Lubb guy, I bet he's not a patch on Danny Bhoy (don't tell me his parents didn't do that deliberately!)

"Shirley you want to meet up with mumsnetters to have sex?"

I was wondering if that was what she meant. I think she did. The big lezzer.

Do you get to make the sex at meet-ups then?

Hahahaaaaaaaa.

No wonder you are all meeting up post-meet up at the Travelodge Farringdon, for a lesbian love-in

No, no to the splayed-legs crotch-shot.

Jamie Redknapp does the same thing and in trousers that seem to be made of Bacofoil.

In fact everyone does it on that show - Sky Sports is it? Ruud Gullit and Graeme Souness are bad too.

It's the nursery school height of the table. I bet Andy Gray and Richard Keys insisted on it so they could thrust their genitals at female staff while protesting: 'What, love? I'm not doing anything.'

YES RHUBARB. And you're first on the list.

Danny Bhoy looks alright I suppose.

Bupcakes and Sue purlease come to the meet up.

Will you shag me if I do, Getorfs?

She will.

God Yes, that would be brilliant.

Not only is Danny Bhoy well fit, but he's an accent to die for and is funny to boot!
I'm already stalking him. He's all mine.

I will shag you all

I didn't know about no meet-up! I never get invited to nuffink, me. Unless it's an invitation to stay the fuck away.

I am well up for a Travelodge Lesbian Love Tryst. Does Lenny Henry do Travelodge? I can imagine him now, commentating on proceedings... "Shirloy's just takin urr bra off now loike, GetOrf looks realloooy surprised. Dow get lube on the covers ladoies or else it's a £35 charge alroight?!"

And you pinit - please come to the meet up, it will be a laugh, sexual harrassement notwothstanding.

fuxkit excuse tramadol aspelling

"He's all mine."

He most certainly is, pet.

Bupcakes! It is on active convos, go and sign up, last week November YOU HAVE GOT TO COME

God I fucking HATE Lenny Henry. (He does the Premier Inn adverts, the Travelodge ones are those creepy bears)

It's all on the board Buppy you facking idiot

i meant pinot

Gotta love shirl's dirty talk

I usedto fancy Lenny Henry

Lenny Henry narrating lezzer love-ins as his one joke character - West Indian Momma. With the creepy Mafia Bears cracking one off in the twin beds.