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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I pulled my MN judgy pants on and up high for the first real time today :o)

49 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 21:54

Went with family including 7 children to a huge indoor play area.
Disabled toilets - working
Boys - working
Girls - working.

I took DS2 4 to the toilet as the others were all playing to be faced with a queue and a child of about 8 who had been stripped naked, sat on the sink and was being washed down I am assuming it was his mum with him.

Now while I am the first normally to understand that some children have SN and therefore require extra care there was a perfectly working disabled toilet which was vacant as you had to get the key before using it.

Mum then left the boy sitting there while she dried his clothes - or rather his t-shirt which was wet.

I managed not to say "you could have used the disabled toilet meaning we could have washed our hands" and ushered DS2 out and got the key for the disabled toilet.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 21:55

sorry manky finger hit send!!

AIBU to think she could have made it easier on all concerned especially the boy who looked uncomfortable with women and girls going in and out.

OP posts:
BatsUpMeNightie · 09/10/2011 21:57

But how and in what way did this actually ruin your day or make any real impact on your life?

sneezecakesmum · 09/10/2011 21:58

perhaps she didnt have time to get the key and the boy was in a mess? don't judge anyone unless you know the full story, its unlikely she chose to use the facilities in this way!

jkklpu · 09/10/2011 21:58

Do you know he was actually disabled? Any chance he could have gone to the ladies' with his Mum and had a sudden projectile diarrhoea incident that soiled his clothes and this was the only was the mother could think of to do anything for him? Sounds like a pretty exceptional incident.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 21:58

Bats the fact that DS2 wanted to wash his hands - they were sticky and the sink was filled with a child.

OP posts:
sneezecakesmum · 09/10/2011 22:00

then you should have gone and got the disabled key and explained why you needed it.

BatsUpMeNightie · 09/10/2011 22:00

Well if his sticky hands were that distressing why didn't you take him to the empty disabled toilet? Lot of fuss about bugger all as far as I can see.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 22:00

I just felt for the boy tbh he looked so embarrassed.

I am saying she could have used the disabled toilet to save him this, not that he was disabled.

OP posts:
AuraofDora · 09/10/2011 22:01

bats
maybe she was upset the kid looked uncomfortable with no privacy
and felt annoyed on his behalf

great question though

troisgarcons · 09/10/2011 22:02

Ok - I got the measure of this.

Your child was dirty and need to wash.

Someone elses child was dirty and was being washed.

Ergo your life was utterly ruined by someone washing their child before you could wash yours?

doesntfitin · 09/10/2011 22:03

and if she had used the disabled toilets and he wasn't disabled you would have moaned about that too.

Fuss about nowt.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 22:03

I did go and get the key I said that in my op.

I just don't think it could have been a pleasent experience for the boy who was sat there in his all together on a sink while women and girls were walking in and out.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 09/10/2011 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 22:07

Trois, it was nothing to do with who had got to the sink first!

As I said the boy looked uncomfortable the mum only dried his t-shirt while I was standing in the queue, the rest of his clothes were on the other side of the sink.

I dont know why she stripped him but I think the privacy of a disabled toilet would have suited better. For the childs comfort.

OP posts:
LeBOF · 09/10/2011 22:07

So you were inconvenienced. I struggle to understand why it is a matter for judgement though.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 22:07

Bluddy that is possible.

OP posts:
BatsUpMeNightie · 09/10/2011 22:08

Well when I was 8 I fell over in a field into a fresh cow pat and got virtually stripped down there and then. We all laugh about that now.

Stop being so bloody angst - especially on behalf of someone you don't know.

Birdsgottafly · 09/10/2011 22:08

Perhaps because she was going to be a while she didn't think that it would be fair to tie up the disabled toilet?

You would have been much quicker and able to vacate the disabled toilet, if needed.

I once took a neighbours child out to find her little cousin in tow (the children were on the CP register), he was filthy, so i washed him in a similar situation.

I wouldn't blink at an 8 year old with no clothes on, a little older, then yes, but it depends on the child.

ClartyScutter · 09/10/2011 22:08

the soft play centre WBU for only having one sink in the toilets

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 22:09

Le, the lack of consideration the mum seemed to show her DS (if she was his mum could have been relative/carer etc) He really did look so embarrassed.
It was no inconvenience to me or DS2 but little girls from young to teens were in and out as well as women.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 22:10

Clarty, I agree with you there.

OP posts:
EightiesChick · 09/10/2011 22:11

It's a bit damned if you do, damned if you don't from the sound of it. Had they used the disabled toilet some people probably would've tutted about that. The unreasonable bit is the toilet only having 1 sink. What toilet only has 1 sink? That only happens IME when it is a single cubicle. If there are say 2/3 cubicles, you always get 2 sinks.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 22:13

I am happy to admit IWBU thinking she should have considered his feelings more - thats all I judged tbh not the fact he was there but you could see his embarrassment.

And no I didn't stare I was waiting to use the toilet but big play area, indoor and out, lots of children 3 cubicles - I left and went in the disabled one with DS2 who only wanted to wash his hands.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 09/10/2011 22:15

Sorry the other sink was little and there were little ones using it. The full size one was in use with the child.

You know the sinks I mean where you would have to be on your knees to use it.

OP posts:
SpookhettiTwirlerAndProud · 09/10/2011 22:17

I totally get what you mean OP, poor lad! My nephew gets embarrassed at having to go in the womens toilets and he's only 4! I think if I had been there I would've been immensely embarrassed for him.