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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not buy DD a Christmas present?

150 replies

Pippaandpolly · 09/10/2011 18:13

This is my first post in AIBU

DH thinks I'm mad because I don't think there's any point in buying DD a Christmas present. She'll be 3 months old and I imagine will be very happy playing with wrapping paper. He thinks it's mean because in years to come she'll ask what we gave her for her first Christmas and be upset it was nothing. Family are sure to give her lots of presents so it's not like I'd want to sit her in the corner with a lump of coal...

I simply do not see the point of forking out on anything expensive (unless, I suppose, it's a 'forever' present - jewellery!? Seems ludicrous) and I don't want to buy tat simply for the sake of buying something. So, AIBU, or is DH?

OP posts:

troisgarcons · 09/10/2011 18:36

TBH - I am supremely practical - my kids never had birrthdays until they went to school and some other bugger told them! I'll rephrase that - they never had birthdays Mon-Fri - it was moved to a Saturday when it was convenient.

Again TBH unless you are a practicing Christian family - Christmas is all about consumerism. My be buy something needed or something small that will hold attention and if you feel financially able - premium bonds.

Groovee · 09/10/2011 18:37

My son got his snow suit for his first christmas lol

duckdodgers · 09/10/2011 18:40

I agree with glittery to.

Why dont you do a wee stocking for her e.g. buy small inexpensive items such as a small cuddly toy, weaning cup.

GreenandBlacksAddict · 09/10/2011 18:43

we didn't buy DS a present for 1st xmas as we had bought him toys when we felt he was ready for them, they have so much at Xmas that no one noticed. We are also quite mean as any relatives who usually buy crap presents (stuff that breaks within 1 day) we take a peak at these and vet them first !

marriedinwhite · 09/10/2011 18:47

Probably nothing for right now is necessary but you could get somethin useful for later such as crockery/cutlery sets or a really nice book.

My mother bought the dc Christmas baubles with their name and "baby's first Christmas and the year" printed on and at 13 and nearly 17 they still love hanging them every year. DS got nothing for his first christmas -simply didn't have time - came three and a half weeks early and the shops are shut on Xmas day but we made up for it when he was 1!!!!

You could also get a set of those plaster cast feet or hands but I suppose that would me more for you but she will love the idea when she's bigger.

MonsterBookOfHorrors · 09/10/2011 18:47

My Dd was 2 and a half months old last christmas. We did buy her presents but 6 months + toys and clothes. They came in handy as it is along time till her birthday. Would that be a possibility.

faxittome · 09/10/2011 18:47

I think it is totally reasonable not to buy a 3 month old a present. In fact I didn't buy my dd a present for Christmas when she one.

That so many of you feel that there is something odd about not wanting to give your child a present is quite depressing really. Christmas should be special because of what you do together, not what you get each other. Teaching materialism from such an early age is surely not a good thing? It was in the news a couple of weeks ago that children in the UK are less happy than those in other countries because their parents place importance on material goods rather than spending quality time together.

Peachy · 09/10/2011 18:50

DS1 was born Dec 9rd; he got a present (from us, everyone else - well first grandchild syndrome...) but only one and a mobile toy that we would have chosen to buy at that stage anyway and just reserved for that time.

Presumably at 3 months your LO is going to start looking at toys etc? most do around then, just wrap something you would have given anyway, second hand who cares? But the pics and meomories are quite nice now a decade on.

faxittome · 09/10/2011 18:52

(also, if it mattered to my child later in life that I hadn't got them a Christmas/Birthday present when they were a baby, then I would seriously worry about their values and general outlook. Hopefully they won't need material things to know I love them.)

lljkk · 09/10/2011 18:53

i didn't & wouldn't if I had my time again.

Peachy · 09/10/2011 18:53

'What is for sure is that she will not ask you in years to come what she got for her first Christma

See my ds1 and ds2 HAVE asked (now 10 and 11),think we were telling ds2 that X toy was the one he got for first birthday (nowt extravagant, cuddly Fimble IIRC) and they asked.

PenguinArmy · 09/10/2011 18:53

we didn't get DD anything

Peachy · 09/10/2011 18:55

'(also, if it mattered to my child later in life that I hadn't got them a Christmas/Birthday present when they were a baby, then I would seriously worry about their values and general outlook. Hopefully they won't need material things to know I love them.)

bollocks, they just have little siblings and we like talking about 'I remember when you did '. The idea that I am materialistic- yeds well if only we had the option, except we woudln't then because we're not.

FabbyChic · 09/10/2011 18:56

You buy her something to use when she is say 8 months, just because she cannot use it now does not mean you buy her nothing. Don't buy her clothing clothing is a shit present unless a child is around 14

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird · 09/10/2011 18:58

My ds was born on dec 20th and it didn't even occur to me to get him a Christmas present. This year I was thinking I would just wrap up something I would be getting him anyway cos he might like to chew the wrapping paper. I think you are def not BU. It's so easy to spend so much money on our DC I'd rather save it for when they care.

faxittome · 09/10/2011 18:58

Peachy, yes, I understand that, but I would just say 'we didn't get you anything because you were a baby and you were happy gurgling on the floor.' If they were then unhappy with that I would be worried because it really shouldn't matter.

VFVF · 09/10/2011 18:59

I didn't get DD anything. This year she will be turning 2 right before Christmas, and I still wont be getting anything for either event. She wont remember, and lets face it, at this age every day is bloody christmas the amount of shit toys, books, stuff she gets bought through the year.

lenak · 09/10/2011 19:01

We bought a fair bit for DD1's first christmas (she was 3 months too) - but it was toys and clothes she would grow into through the year.

DD2 will be 3 months this christmas - she will be getting a new set of stacking cups and some of DD1's old toys wrapped up

lenak · 09/10/2011 19:02

Just to add, my mom buys the tree decs with the year on, otherwise we'd probably get one of those too.

WilsonFrickett · 09/10/2011 19:03

DS was 6 months on his first and I'm pretty sure we didn't get him anything. Can't really remember, so if he ever asks he'll be getting a fib either way! YANBU. Of course he had loads of things from everyone else (PFB GC) so I didn't feel he was deprived in the least.

I think we only got him one thing for his second Christmas too, a scooter or something. And when he was 4 we got his bike right at the start of the summer so didn't give him anything 'on' his birthday.

And I can't believe I've broken my own 'no Christmas comments till Christmas' rule

Peachy · 09/10/2011 19:03

Right well why not just wrap something you would get anyway and be done with it?

A winter baby is likely to want a small paddling pool in summer for instance, toys for a 9 month old are different to those for a newborn.

Hand me down or second hand OK. Would not bother me in slightest. But why not just go for it? Especially if one of you wants to. Of course if you are both not bothered that's fine, but if one wants to it needn't cost anything you would not spend anyway, barring maybe the cost of some cheapo wrap.

onefatcat · 09/10/2011 19:03

How about something which has the year on so she can get it out each year and you can tell her it was her first Christmas present. We got a big cuddly reindeer which says christmas 2005 on it and we put it under three every year and dd now likes to say "is that the year I as born?" and we say "yes, we got this for your first ever Christmas"

MayDayChild · 09/10/2011 19:03

DD was 7 months and she got the next size car seat! £100
DS was 6 months and he also got a car seat but DD sits in it, he now sits in her first Xmas present

exoticfruits · 09/10/2011 19:06

You sound very sensible.

PenguinArmy · 09/10/2011 19:10

and I hadn't planned on getting her anything this Christmas either (she'll be 21months), plenty of family will get her presents.

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