Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DD's SM is a blooming SAINT?

133 replies

CardyMow · 07/10/2011 17:45

DD's Father had no contact (through choice) with DD until she was 12 years old.

He got back in touch by phone when she turned 12. He came down from Scotland to where we live in Essex in August, with his wife and 2 other dc. His wife drove ALL the way down here, AND all the way back, as DD's father doesn't drive.

We arranged that DD would fly up there as an unaccompanied minor, in the October half term. But that has proved an impossibility, as DD is 13.6yo, and EasyJet only fly unaccompanied minors from 14yo. And there are no other carriers flying from Stansted - I have no transport, getting to and from Heathrow to drop DD off would take 11 hours - and I have an 8mo bf baby that is a bottle refuser.

So, DD's SM is going to DRIVE all the flipping way from Inverness to Colchester to pick up DD, and drive ALL the way back to Inverness on the 20th - 21st October, and then do the same in reverse on the 28th - 29th October.

AIBU to think she must be some kind of bloody SAINT for doing this for her DH (My ex)??? I'm so glad she is doing it though - it's the only way DD will be able to see them before March next year when she turns 14yo!

OP posts:
ChaoticAngelofSamhain · 07/10/2011 17:49

YANBU I suspect it's because of her that your ex got back in touch. Some sm's are worth their weight in gold and she sounds like one of them :) The other good bit is that you will be able to let your DD go in the knowledge that she'll take good care of her.

Sevenfold · 07/10/2011 17:50

wow she is nice

catchafallingstar · 07/10/2011 17:51

I would have thought you would be grateful/appreciate the effort this woman is making for your dd?
What was the alternative really? I don't see the problem.

She is doing it for her family i presume, your dd and ex included.

TheOriginalFAB · 07/10/2011 17:51

YANBU and she is lovely.

I would be buying her a gift to show appreciation.

TheOriginalFAB · 07/10/2011 17:52

Confused catchafallingstar.

KaFayOLay · 07/10/2011 17:52

What a lovely woman :).

I'd be getting her a small gift by way of a thank you.

fluffystabby · 07/10/2011 17:52

She sounds lovely.

ChaoticAngelofSamhain · 07/10/2011 17:53

Did you actually read the post catch including this bit...

"AIBU to think she must be some kind of bloody SAINT for doing this for her DH (My ex)??? I'm so glad she is doing it though"

nokissymum · 07/10/2011 17:54

catch OP is praising DD step mum for her selfless effort, that's the point of this thread.

Northernlurker · 07/10/2011 17:56

Yes I think she is indeed a very decent and lovely woman. I hope dd gets on well with her too?

vixsatis · 07/10/2011 17:57

She sounds lovely; and so do you for appreciating her

Original poster
CardyMow · 07/10/2011 17:57

Hmm catchafallingstar. I am HAPPY that she is doing this, if you read my post. It's just SUCH a difference from my DS1's SM (who is a total mentalist, and perpetuates the evil SM generalisation in my mind) that I am gobsmacked.

What would be an appropriate present to get for her? I have only met her a few times (when they were down in August). I know she works with children that are in a care home, that she likes horse riding, and that's about the sum total of my knowledge of her likes and dislikes and what she does.

So, what do I get her as a thank you gift?

OP posts:
catchafallingstar · 07/10/2011 17:59

I don't understand why you posted in AIBU?

TheOriginalFAB · 07/10/2011 17:59

Flowers, chocolates, nice hand cream, etc.

Original poster
CardyMow · 07/10/2011 18:01

Yes, DD gets on really well with her. Which is amazing. And yes, I DO suspect that ex's recent involvement is more than a bit down to the SM. So I am truly thankful that she has kicked his arse got him to get more involved.

OP posts:
Original poster
CardyMow · 07/10/2011 18:02

Are you the AIBU police now? Thought that was Trills?

OP posts:
momnipotent · 07/10/2011 18:02

I remember your thread with the letdown over the flights, so glad you managed to sort something out between yourselves!

Agree with previous poster that said it was likely because of SM that DD's Dad got in touch in the first place.

Lovely woman!

Original poster
CardyMow · 07/10/2011 18:03

Maybe chocolates - think flowers would be wilted by the time she gets home after a 20hr journey!

OP posts:
worraliberty · 07/10/2011 18:04

To be fair it doesn't matter where the OP posts if you're not going to read it properly catch Grin

I agree OP, she sounds like a Saint!

wellwisher · 07/10/2011 18:08

She sounds fab! To save her the mission though, could your DD not go part of the way by train?

Original poster
CardyMow · 07/10/2011 18:10

Unfortunately not, DD has asd, she wouldn't cope with a train journey.

OP posts:
GumballCharm · 07/10/2011 18:11

AIBU can be used in a lighthearted manner caatch it would turn into Hell otherwise!

Original poster
CardyMow · 07/10/2011 18:12

And anyway - I did ask an AIBU question - see title : AIBU to think that DD's SM is a saint.

Well, am I?

OP posts:
catchafallingstar · 07/10/2011 18:12

It is pretty obvious that this woman has done a generous thing...why would you be unreasonable in thinking that?

Don't get your point?

Don't know who trills is either....

LottieJenkins · 07/10/2011 18:13

Your dd is very lucky to have such a lovely stepmum! My ex stepmother is the biggest cow that ever walked the earth! Sad