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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not go with DH to hospital with my sick 11 month old.

91 replies

DontTellAnyonebut · 07/10/2011 14:25

There is a concert tonight, i have to be there to collect the tix and there are 7 people relying on me.

DS had croup treatment two nights ago but now has a temp of 103. He has had two bad episodes already this year 1 an RSV induced bronciolitis and 2 week stay in hospital a couple of months ago. Anyway, i've sent an inept DH to the hospital with him as DS is refusing all drinks etc and is very sleepy/ floppy. His breathing is shallow and has mild recession.

I feel terrible, have i judged it right or should i just call all and cancel their concert and follow DH?

OP posts:
mollymole · 07/10/2011 14:28

Why can't some one else collect the tickets ?
You just cannot be serious at putting a concert before the health of your child.

fedupandtired · 07/10/2011 14:32

Who's it more important to let down, your friends or your DS?

Guess it depends where your priorities lie...

aldiwhore · 07/10/2011 14:33

The child is with a parent. When DH was working away I took my youngest to hospital, he didn't drop everything and return because our child was afe with me and in the right place (plus it wasn't life threatening).

YANBU.

If you'd said 'I need to collect concert tickets tonight so am not taking my ill child to hospital' - then I would have said YABVU and called you a few sweary names.

Sleepwhenidie · 07/10/2011 14:33

Are you for real Shock? Get one of the other people to collect your credit card from you so that they can collect the tickets, they can come to the hospital to do so if necessary!

I would also don a flame retardant outfit pdq by the way....

Original poster
DontTellAnyonebut · 07/10/2011 14:35

I know. Dh was very logical with me and said that 103 wasn't that high really but i just feel rotten.

I think i might go get tix now, leave them at my mate's house and head up to the hospital.

molly and fedup do you have medical knowledge, do you think 103 is in dangersous territory?

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 07/10/2011 14:35

YABVU!

I can't believe you are actually asking this and being serious?

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 07/10/2011 14:36

Follow DH to hospital NOW

And then delegate by sendin him on to collect tickets/meet friends or call one of the 7 and the box office (if that's where your collecting the tickets from) and explain why you can't be there in person.

Original poster
DontTellAnyonebut · 07/10/2011 14:37

Don't worry about the flameproof jacket, i've seen people write allsorts on here.

and i also usually respect aldiwhores posts.

OP posts:
TipOfTheSlung · 07/10/2011 14:37

It is hot but I don't think it's scarily hot, mine always reach around 40 when they get a temp though.
I think the thing is do you trust your husband or not?

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 07/10/2011 14:37

Forget about the tickets until you've got yourself to the hospital - GO NOW!!!

Original poster
DontTellAnyonebut · 07/10/2011 14:38

going now..

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 07/10/2011 14:38

Ah now, if you go because of the guilt YANBU either.

whackamole · 07/10/2011 14:40

YANBU IMO.

I have taken my children to hospital without my OH to get them checked, he has done the same. We are always contactable if hospital said we needed to get there quickly, but surely Daddy being there is enough? You are both parents.

BUT - why can't someone else collect the tickets? Out of the 8 of you presumably going can someone else not take on the responsibility so you can go to the hospital, if it really means that much?

mollymole · 07/10/2011 14:40

anything over 101 with a very young child is considered a medical situation - only you know the background details of the health of your child

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 07/10/2011 14:40

IzzyWhizzy

i don't understand your logic. Why is it better that the OP is there with sick child instead of (rather than as well as) her husband, the child's father....

AMumInScotland · 07/10/2011 14:41

Well, she referred to her DH as "inept" - otherwise I'd agree that dad's as good as mum.

BruciesDollyDealer · 07/10/2011 14:42

a child generally wants their mum when they are ill

call me old fashioned, but thats usually true

TipOfTheSlung · 07/10/2011 14:42

Can you imagine the aibu if it was the other way round
I took ds to hospital today to be on the safe side, dh was supposed to be doing something which impacted on other people so I told him to stay but he dropped everything anyway and followed me there. AIBU to feel that he doesn't trust me with my own child?

Ephiny · 07/10/2011 14:43

It's not 'putting a concert before the health of your child', if the child is being taken to the hospital anyway. That's a completely unfair accusation.

But OP I'm absolutely sure the people relying on you will understand! If they have a go about you 'letting them down' when your child is sick enough to be taken to hospital, they can't be very good friends, or very decent people in fact.

cestlavielife · 07/10/2011 14:47

at ths hospital the staff will take care of child as needed. so ineptness or not of h is not necessarily relevant - so long as child as a parent there in case of distress

but i would give credit card to someone else to collect tickets and go to hosp and check on child.

is hosp near concert?

could you get out of concert easily?

child may stabilise or may take downturn you just dont know

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 07/10/2011 14:48

Because she referred to her DH as inept and because a temperature of 103 may cause febrile convulsions (fitting) and because 'spleepy/floppy' and 'refusing all drinks' can be indicative of serious illness which needs immediate investigation and because FGS don't both parents want to be with their sick infant when neither have to stay home?

yippeekaiyay · 07/10/2011 14:49

FGS, the child is with a parent.

If it was the other way round and child was with mum, no one would bat an eyelid at dad not being there!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 07/10/2011 14:50

sleepy not 'spleepy'

MollyintheMoon · 07/10/2011 14:51

Yes yippee but OP said the dad is 'inept'. Not sure what that means tbh but it increases the OP's worry so I suppose she should be there.

moojie · 07/10/2011 14:52

Just to clarify, there is no specific level of temperature that is 'dangerous'. When a child is unwell with a fever it is far more important what the childs behaviour is like than what the temperature reading is. I work in an emergency department and have seen children with a very high temperature still playing in the waiting room and others with a temp of say 38 deg who are floppy.

I think it would have been fine to send the child with it's father, many children come to our dept with one parent and you could be called if you were needed.