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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think school have said no for my child absence for a family holiday

335 replies

HidingInTheBathroom · 06/10/2011 17:05

We are going on holiday next month. My DS (8) school have refused the leave.

I handed the form in yesterday and got a reply today. I wouldn't mind but he never has time off school. He has not had 1 day off this year and last year he had 1 and half days off because he was sick at school and was still poorly the day after.

We have never been on holiday in school time and out of all his school life I think he has had a total of 4-5 days off ill.

They say if I take him I could get find. Going next month so my DS will be off school for a total of 10 days. We have been waiting for this holiday for 4 years.

AIBU to think they should off not refused this absence.

OP posts:
HidingInTheBathroom · 07/10/2011 17:43

Another thought I know of a few horrid people who can't be arsed to get up early to get there Dc to school on time so they take them off for the day and when they are late not by a few minutes they are a hour or maybe 2 late. Do these parents get fined. Just putting it out there because I would be interested to know if they get fined for persistant absences.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 07/10/2011 18:04

GumballCharm you say I also think that holiday companies should not be allowed to charge so much in school holiday time.

Holiday companies buy and sell plane tickets and hotel rooms. When the demand is high - and the supply is limited - prices will rise. The law of supply and demand has been around a long time and is not going to be repealed any time soon.

alistron1 · 07/10/2011 18:26

Schools are judged on attendance. And this feeds into ofsted reports etc which parents use to judge whether a school is 'good' or not.

LA's monitor attendance and are on the backs of schools if attendance figures are poor.

Parents can't have things all ways. If you want 'good' schools then you can not have kids being taken out willy nilly for cheap holidays. And if there's a rule then it has to be enforced.

Also, I'm sure many school staff would love to take time off in term time in order to afford a holiday. We work in schools and OUR kids have never known a holiday that is not under canvass in a force ten fucking gale.

There are extenuating circumstances to term time leave - eg forces families etc.. but this culture of 'entitlement' to cheap holidays and fucking off school time is ridiculous.

And if any of you do take your kids out for an 'affordable' holiday, I hope that you never complain about anything your kids schools/teachers do. Because by having such flagrant disregard for their 'rules' you lose all rights to.

A-fucking-men.

4madboys · 07/10/2011 18:37

but OP isnt breaking the rules, the rules state that in cases where the childs mother or father CANNOT get leave from work in holidays then they CAN have time off AUTHORISED for during term time, this is the ops situation, so she isnt being unreasonable, but she needs to make sure the school understand taht the holiday was booked for non-term time and then was cancelled due to the snow and now her dh can ONLY get time off during the school term. in which case the school ARE allowed to authorise the absence.

do the school know all this op?

Hardgoing · 07/10/2011 18:55

Please let my children not go to a 'good' school where there is so little critical thinking about rules which are arbitary, upset the diligent but not the chaotic/late/truanting families, put pressure on sick children to go on and penalise families who can't go in holiday time because they are working. Or the true meaning of the word 'education'.

letsblowthistacostand · 07/10/2011 19:14

Have you really given them the whole story? We've been authorized for some extra days at xmas as we are going to see family on the other side of the world and want to have plenty of time with them. The school have said we'll need to do a travel journal to be presented when we get back.

Bunsouttheoven · 07/10/2011 21:33

A-fucking-men HARDGOING

skybluepearl · 07/10/2011 22:32

I think many schools allow 10 days a year as holiday in school time. Take it anyway, hes only 8 and school isn't THE most important thing in life. School is just one aspect and his attendance has been almost perfect so far. I can see that you value education/work ethic and will continue to do so. If referred on, an ESW wouldn't take your case seriously as your child has high attendance.

The school is so driven for high attendance figures. They just want to tick the box that says attandance above national average and will look better to the outside world for it.

Collaborate · 08/10/2011 10:57

JambalayaCodfish Feel neither big or small about it. Knowing that the phrase is "should have" rather than "should of" or even off has nothing to do with dyslexia. Haven't got so much time on my hands that I can be arsed to trawl through 8 pages of posts.

working9while5 · 08/10/2011 11:25

Actually, you're wrong there Collaborate.

jade80 · 08/10/2011 11:52

YANBU for all the reasons you have explained. YABU for saying 'they was'. Make sure you don't teach him grammar if you're helping him catch up.

Yes, I know IABU for commenting on grammar outside the correct forum!

I was
You were
They were
He was
She was
We were

Sorted :)

Have a nice holiday!

jade80 · 08/10/2011 11:53

Actually, no, collaborate isn't wrong. In my opinion, anyway!

ElaineReese · 08/10/2011 11:57

It's a shame your original plans were spoilt. Not such a shame that the school should have to authorise your holiday to Florida.

Everything that alistron said.

working9while5 · 08/10/2011 12:38

Does your opinion stretch to explaining why misspelling a phrase based on it sounds phonologically in natural speech has nothing to do with dyslexia, jade80?

working9while5 · 08/10/2011 12:38

on how it sounds

aldiwhore · 08/10/2011 12:41

[claps]

Quite right hardgoing

natation · 08/10/2011 12:54

10 days of authorised or tolerated absence for holidays within term time are 10 days too many. Children are entitled to a free education in the UK, with that should come the responsibilities of parents to support their children's education by sending their children to school every day they are not ill, extenuating circumstances excepted - I don't see a 2 week holiday to Florida as coming into that category.

UK is too soft on parents. We live in Belgium, where more than 5 days of unauthorised absence goes on record, is reported to School Inspectors who often send the Police around to talk to parent to remind them it is unlawful to take children out of school to go on holiday during term time - those Police visits remain on your record for all public servants to see, very Big Brother I know. It's not just Belgium, I think you'll find the UK is the exception in the EU in allowing such a system of tolerance for unauthorised leave.

baskingseals · 08/10/2011 13:03

op YANBU

2 weeks in Florida will be more emotionally, intellectually and educationally beneficial to your ds than 2 weeks in school.

schools don't own children you know. if they belong to anybody it's their parents, and as their parents they have ultimate responsibility to make what they feel are the best choices for their dc.

the government and LEA have not got your child's best interests at heart.

enjoy your holiday op.

HidingInTheBathroom · 08/10/2011 13:34

I explained my learning difficult. I am sorry my grammar is not upto your standards. Can you understand it. Is this thread anything todo with grammar. I have explained my dyslexia and if that's not embarrassing enough for me you think you have the right to call some one when you obviously do not have all the facts.

If someone has a learning difficulty why should they not be aloud to come on MN. If you understand what they are saying why pull them up on it. If you can't uderstand why can you not just ask.

OP posts:
Rosa · 08/10/2011 13:45

He is 8 FGS YANBU at all . School is being daft.

jade80 · 08/10/2011 13:53

OP, because hearing people say 'they was' and 'he were' makes my teeth itch. I didn't say you aren't allowed on MN, and you can say what you like! As can I, and I am, about grammar. It is not to do with a learning difficulty, it is to do with writing it how you say it, when you say it wrong.

Why would dyslexia be embarassing? I'm not commenting on that anyway, but lots of people have it to varying degrees. I'm sorry but I don't follow what you say about me thinking I 'have the right to call some one when obviously do not have the facts'.

Dyslexia is not using an entirely different word in place of the one you needed.

You may notice I actually agreed with you on the subject of the post!

You ask if I can understand what you write. Yes, I can, but I have to stop, re-read and check I have got your meaning properly. It is harder to read. With typing with no errors, it is much easier to read. It also has a knock on effect, because I read things online more now, I see things written incorrectly much more often. There are several things (spelling and grammar) which I now find it much harder to identify the correct version correctly, because I see the wrong one so often and it gets ingrained, you know? When I was younger, I mostly read correctly written text in books so it was much easier to spot mistakes. I would imagine it will be the same for your son. He hears it and sees it in the incorrect form and it becomes normal.

You may not give a crap about grammar, but I do. We are both equally entitled to our views, and entitled to post what we like. I won't be too upset if you ignore me! I still think it is important though.

Workingwhile- If people spoke proper, like, there wouldn't be an issue. 'Should have or 'should've', spoken correctly, do not sound like should of.

jade80 · 08/10/2011 13:55

Workingwhile, on second thoughts, I'm not sure I 'got' what you were asking me, so that answer may make no sense! What were you asking me?

HidingInTheBathroom · 08/10/2011 14:03

I type as I speak. When I read my posts back I can not see the mistakes. I add extra words in and also miss words. O can not tell the difference between there their. As I read them both the same when in a sentence because I sound them out in my head the same. I also have my b's an d's mixed up.

So if someone had a speech problem say a lisp would you correct them as the may not be able to say certain words correctly. As it could be bad manners if they can not speak correctly it may take extra time to listen to them.

And if you are that bothered about having to read a thread a few times to get the gist then don't read it if it offends you that much.

OP posts:
flack · 08/10/2011 14:04

We are not big drinkers and enjoy taking out kids to theme parks and which other themed park is more magical than Disney.

well imho there is no magic whatsoever about Disney, that's a load of marketing hype/BS you've fallen for. Still, whatever rocks your boat.

It's just the hint of entitlement you're making here, like you deserve this particular holiday and you deserve the school to fully sanction it. That's where I think yabu. They aren't there to bless your holiday plans.

The fine is what.. 50 quid? 100? Big Deal. If you can afford a 2 week jaunt to Florida for 3+ people (even in November), then 50-100 quid extra is peanuts. I can't believe you're even bothering to care about it.

HidingInTheBathroom · 08/10/2011 14:10

Flack I have to disagree. I have been to Disney when I was little and it was magical to me. My DC are 20 months, 3 & 8. Especially the 3 year old when he will look at Peter pan he will believe that's Peter pan not a man dressing up in a costume. Disney is geared for children.

And it is bit just Disney in Florida.

OP posts:
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