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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school have said no for my child absence for a family holiday

335 replies

HidingInTheBathroom · 06/10/2011 17:05

We are going on holiday next month. My DS (8) school have refused the leave.

I handed the form in yesterday and got a reply today. I wouldn't mind but he never has time off school. He has not had 1 day off this year and last year he had 1 and half days off because he was sick at school and was still poorly the day after.

We have never been on holiday in school time and out of all his school life I think he has had a total of 4-5 days off ill.

They say if I take him I could get find. Going next month so my DS will be off school for a total of 10 days. We have been waiting for this holiday for 4 years.

AIBU to think they should off not refused this absence.

OP posts:
Ormirian · 07/10/2011 13:40

And what Bonsoir said too.

Oakmaiden · 07/10/2011 13:42

HattiFattner that really is not true though. The numeracy strategy/ curriculum works on a spiral basis, and just because the child will miss a topic this time around, it doesn't mean they will be forever disadvantaged. Their class will do the same topic again, several times, over the course of their primary schooling. And many of the children will have completely forgotten that they have ever leant about it before so the teacher WILL have to address the basics pretty much each time.

And 2 weeks equating to a sub level? In KS2 the children have 4 years to go from an average 2b to an average 4b - which is 6 sublevels. Or an average of 1 sub level every 2 terms, not every 2 weeks. Sheesh!

rimmer08 · 07/10/2011 13:48

YABU you do not appear to have given the school sufficient notice and unless it is for a family wedding then it is very unlikely to be authorised. As

Summerblaze · 07/10/2011 14:11

This really gets on my nerves.

No, YANBU at all to go on holiday with your family when you like. And she is 8, so its not as if she has exams any time soon. Its not as if everything at school is educational. My DD is in year 3 and learning about ancient egypt. Apart from the fact that one day they coloured in a pyramid which I can't see teaches them anything, its not as if she is not going to become a doctor/lawyer/accountant by not knowing about this topic. This year so far, they have had people come to school and watched them do a play and are learning to play the violin. They will only be doing this for a term unless you want to pay loads of money to do it at home. DD won't be as she hates doing it. Its not as if they are writing and reading all day. DD only reads with her teacher once a week.

A family holiday is very important. It helps with family ties and closeness of the family. Especially good for those who have a parent or both parents who work a lot. And if they can't afford school holidays then I don't see why this should stop them going.

If schools/governments want children to not miss school for holidays then there should be a blanket ban on holiday companies putting their prices up during a holiday.

Chandon · 07/10/2011 14:30

summerblaze, people are free to UP their prices, as we are then free to simply NOT GO.

you can't give that responsibility to the governemt, we are big boys and girls now.

If everyone just did not go to those places when prices are so high, or when it is term time, they WOULD change their prices.

chinam · 07/10/2011 14:31

YANBU to go on holday. We did it last year as a one off. The only time I would have a problem with it is if your child was in an exam year. Go and enjoy yourselves. BTW to those of you who mentioned teachers cant get time off during the year, my DDs teacher took six weeks in addittion to the Easter holidays last year when she got married.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 07/10/2011 14:37

What if everyone in the class wanted 10 days off to go to Disney World, and all at different times... it would be chaos. The school was quite right to say no. There are 13 weeks a year to have family holidays.

chinam · 07/10/2011 14:41

FFS, I went to the bother of spell checking my message and still managed to post it with the spelling mistakes left in.

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 07/10/2011 15:05

its a rule that applies to all parents with children at school, you really should have asked them for the ok on the dates before you booked, there is a good argument for family time and educational trips (disney?) to be a good learning experience for children but really if we all took our kids out when we felt like a trip then it would be chaos, also its not fair on those who do abide by the rules. after recently coming back from Africa (in holiday time) my son learnt just how important education is and as another op earlier said, how children were prepared to walk miles to get educated. A holiday whenever you feel like it devalues it imo

BruciesDollyDealer · 07/10/2011 15:16

aldiwhore , calm down lovey. the irrational rage is no good for you Grin

Original poster
HidingInTheBathroom · 07/10/2011 16:00

I love the fact that taking my DS out of school means I don't care about my sons education. Also according to some of you this will ruin my DS education and means he will never pass exams and therefore never become a doctor or a vet.

Well I'm prepared to take that chance because I really do not think at 8 years old he is going to miss too much to alter his life. But I do think he will remember our holiday. Me and DH work full time. This is a family holiday. I also work for the family business and never seem to stop bringing work home. So this is out bonding holiday away from it all.

I am the evil parent for forcing our DC for going Disney and I don't think they will ever forgive me for it Wink

My DC will see there princesses and pirates. We will also be going to feed the dolphins. And we are going to have a fantastic time Grin

Sorry for any mis types. So I have realised I have been unreasonable for expecting the school to say yes. But I do think they should take every child on the own bases. Ie exams, time off, lateness and ability to catch up. And also if they ask why you can not go in the holidays and you give a valid reason then they should consider it.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 07/10/2011 16:16

Ah! You work for the family business and the dolphins need feeding!! Well that's alright then Hmm

rookiemater · 07/10/2011 16:20

YABU to have not spoken to the school before you book it, perhaps they might have been more reasonable if they had known the circumstances in advance rather than being presented with a fait accompli.

Original poster
HidingInTheBathroom · 07/10/2011 16:27

Ilocetiffany my reason for taking him out in school time as explained before. We were due to last Christmas but it was cancelled. My DH could not get any other time off in winter than these 2 weeks next month. My DS has never been off school and it is not a exam year.

OP posts:
Original poster
HidingInTheBathroom · 07/10/2011 16:29

Rookiemaker you have to give ten days notice this is alot more than 10 days. So I have given them enough time.

OP posts:
rookiemater · 07/10/2011 16:31

Its not the length of time though is it, its booking before they have had a chance to respond, but anyway if you are happy with your decision then fine so no need to post in AIBU

NorfolkBroad · 07/10/2011 16:32

exoticfruits is exactly right. There are criteria that the school have to adhere to. It's not a personal judgement.

NorfolkBroad · 07/10/2011 16:35

I agree with you though. To do this occasionally in your child's school career is far from the end of the world. 2 weeks every year would be to much IMHO.

MrsVoltar · 07/10/2011 16:38

We took my DS out of school for about 5 days (one school week) last year, I wouldn't do it again as he seemed to miss a lot.

Friend who did same has said same. In their whole education it probably won't make huge amount of difference but at the time he really struggled to catch up. Also my DS is ill a lot so misses enough anyway.

Would only probably take 1 or 2 days off just before hols, they usually watching DVDs for last day anyway Grin

didldidi · 07/10/2011 16:49

surely Florida in the Christmas holidays originally was pretty expensive though?

Original poster
HidingInTheBathroom · 07/10/2011 16:56

If you would like to know. My parents were paying towards some of the cost last year as they where coming too as well as my brothers. Then the flights got cancelled. The kids where disappointed.

We gave the money back to my dad when we got our refund. My husband could not get Christmas off again. They only time when we could go was next month.

OP posts:
4madboys · 07/10/2011 16:59

i dont think you are being unreasonable, have you explained to the school about how your dh can ONLY get the holiday at this time of year? we had a similar issue the other year and when they school knew that dp couldnt get time off work at any other time they authorised the holiday time. theyare ALLOWED to authorise it for reasons to do with leave from work etc if it is only available during term time, (someone posted a link i think) go back to the school and explain about the weather cancelling the other holiday etc and your dh's holiday time.

but even if they say no i would still go, he is 8, its a once in a lifetime thing that you have obviously saved hard for, so go and enjoy yourselves :)

Reveller · 07/10/2011 17:32

Since when did schools have the right to fine people? Exactly how are they going to enforce it? I can't imagine them sending the bailiffs around.

AnyoneButLulu · 07/10/2011 17:36

School doesn't normally fine, LA's attendance officer fines, backed up by court proceedings and bailiffs if it comes to it.

Hardgoing · 07/10/2011 17:43

Exactly: the response of the UK government to people taking two weeks off school on a holiday, when they have excellent attendance record, are not behind at school and have a concrete reason why they couldn't go on the holiday in term-time, is to threaten things like fines, court proceedings and bailiffs.

Yes, obviously the welfare of children (being with their parents) and their educational development (experiencing new countries) is their top priority, not blackmailing all the well-behaved parents into compliance to cover up their inability to get chaotic families or persistant truants into school at all...