to think I should just stop bloody eating too much

[FattyFattyBoomBoom]

I am fat, obese etc etc.

I am 7 stone overweight and hate it.

I am a health professional educated to postgraduate degree level.

I have tried diets and seem to be able to drop a stone easily then it goes tits up. I look at fat people and think it looks horrible and I think they are stupid for the health risks etc but I still cannot seem to control my eating. I cannot look at myself in the mirror.

AIBU to have no idea why the fuckkity why I cant just stop eating too much and drop some weight ?

I think it's probably more complex than eating too much... There's probably a reason why you over-eat and you probably need to work at that to make a permanent change. I do feel for you.

Nope! You are very much not alone. I sometimes feel worse because I have studied enough and know enough to have absolutely no excuse for being this bloody fat, but no matter what I do, I stay fat. Deep down I know I could do more, in fact that's totally bloody obvious, because I am still fat but knowing that Just.Doesn't.Help. I do know that if I am ever to lose a significant amount of weight, it has to be ME who does it, nobody else can do it for me. Not entirely sure if I will ever be arsed though as in find the motivation and will power and sheer bloody determined energy it requires I'm weak, fat, lazt, tired, old, and in pain, and just don't care all that much anymore
I have no answers btw, just "showing solidarity" with you Boom.

What have you tried on a practical level to lose weight? There are so many factors to consider, I think - your lifestyle, relationships (supportive about you dieting etc) your 'eating history' - it can be so hard to change habit which have taken years to become established. It is so easy to say to someone 'stop eating too much' but so hard to put it into practice.

Anyone can do it if they really want to. But you have to be prepared to put some work into it long term, not a quick fix.

Is it the fact that you're 'dieting' that makes it go tits up? If so, how about a more general healthy eating, cutting out the choc n crisps, gentle exercise approach? Will take a lot, lot longer than crash dieting but is easier to get into I think. Much smaller portions of your favorite foods?

To blandly answer your question - YABU to keep on eating crap when you know full well it's doing you no good.

DH is struggling to lose 2 stone at the moment and has come straight in from work and is on the exercise bike. I've done chicken and veg stir fry for dinner. It's not rocket science but discipline and bit of a slog. But then you know that don't you. Come on you can do it you know. Maybe join one of the weight loss threads on here.

I hear you and could have written your post
I know what and how to do it but I know for me that it's about my whole relationship with food and using it as comfort/reward. Until I figure that out I'm stuck.

Hugs to you OP (and I ain't no hugger) :o

After trying for many many years, the only way I did it was to face up to it, and take it seriously. I have an eating disorder, like anorexia or bulimia. I eat too much. I eat when I'm not hungry. I eat for myriad reasons. It could kill me. It could kill my confidence. It could be passed down to my children. It's only thinking like this- Like an addict- That I've been able to shift it. And I only started tackling it last February, it's going to take a lot to keep it up.

how have you shifted it Belle?

I am having another bash at the Cambridge sole source starting Wed. I lost almost 2 stone on it recently and want to cure my 'food addiction'. I gave up smoking 10 years ago and that was a breeze compared to this.

I have done Slimming World, low carb, hired a personal trainer, spent a fortune on hypnotherapy. All failed.

I am glad to see I am not alone in this. My life is a success in every way apart from this. I have no photos of me with the dc as I am so so ashamed of myself.

On a positive note I was heavier a couple of years ago so I seem to be not getting any bigger. I have a big birthday in 11 months and want to be able to wear a nice dress and have my picture taken with my dc and husband.

Have a look at www.myfitnesspal.com

I've found it very useful to track my food. I really underestimated the amount I was eating. I'd often look at the calories but the fat was the surprising thing for me. Just because it's not fried doesn't mean it isn't high fat. It really took me a while to get that to sink in! Portion size was a big issue for me too.

I am in a facebook group which is set to secret so your other friends can't see your involvement. We weigh in once a week, have a weekly set of diet and fitness challenges if we want to join in with and the emphasis is on changing your lifestyle at a healthy rate. It started with just 1 group and now we are 6 strong and a great community.

If you use facebook, you'd be welcome to join us - just pm me :)

You are very clever so you know all the ins ands outs etc etc already.
You are right - unless there"s an underlying problem such as a thyroid problem,you do need to just stop eating so bloody much (and move more)!!!

And so do I.And so do lots of us.And it"s just not that easy!

When I gave up smoking I imagined waking up one day with an irreversible health condition caused by smoking and how it would be to realise that this was it and I"d left it too late to change my choices.And I knew I didn"t want to go there.

I think the same sort of thing is worth trying to attempt to shift the weight.
I"m giving it a go so I"m really not being a hard cow as I"m applying the same hard talking to approach to myself!!!

Have you tried keeping a food diary? Stop trying to control your food intake but do try to notice the patterns of what what leads to you overeating? Maybe you have repeat triggers, either a situation where you feel obliged to overeat, or to eat something quite fattening, etc?

I know that eating too quickly is a bad idea, too.

I did it with help from a thread on here (you're wecome to join!) and myfitnesspal.com
Unfortunately, I am SO fucked up with food that I went from overeater to borderline anorexic in the matter of a few weeks. I just wanted a quick fix. But I am a lot better now, it's just that I realize I can't breeze through not thinking about food: I need to be aware of what I'm eating, that it's not too little or too much.
You have a goal: That's brilliant. By your birthday, set a realistic goal, and keep it in mind. You can do it- Just be food aware. x

stress is a huge trigger for me. I also drive about at work so have the perfect job to nip into shops for junk and eat it in private in my car.

That is why I am giving the meal replacement thing another go to wean me off bad habits and see some results quickly.

I loved low carb and felt fab on it and will return to that when I have shifted some of the weight but 7 stone seems such a fucking huge amount and I feel such a tit I dont want to do serious exercise.

I walk to school int he mornings and walk the dog a lot and am out and about at work a lot so I am active just greedy. And short and fat.

Mil has a hypnotist, think she's lost around 3 stone so far but at £20 a week.

Hope you find a happy balance with food.

I think, with any addictive behaviour, you need to reach a 'rock bottom' before you really change your ways. I decided to give up smoking after I found myself counting out 2ps to buy a pack of 10.

Diets don't work IMO. Try eating your meals from a side plate - worked for me. Portion control is the key, not deprivation. Also second OA - or a support group of some kind in case of underlying issues.

Really feel for you fatty. I am in a similar situation and it is ruining my life in just about every way. I am stuck in it and I can't get out. When people say 'anyone can do it' that somehow makes it worse. Anyone cannot do it otherwise would we be in this horrid situation? Anyway good luck to you and anyone else trying to get out of the hell that is being a big fatty.

I totally agree about how overeating is like an addiction. This book
here
says it really is an addiction, and is amazingly helpful.

There's quite a bit here too, in the archived newsletters www.eatingless.com

Sometimes I think people are sniggering at me when I exercise in public wondering what that fat old cow thinks she"s doing.You know what?

Just doubletriplefuck them if they want to think that. Their problem.

Exercise is a habit, you just have to do it to feel like doing it.
I imagine that if you could do anything to generally decrease the stress at work that the urge to comfort eat would reduce.
You could look at a group like Overeaters Anonymous. Some of their ideas about how to stop overeating are a bit hokey, but their meetings are brilliant for just talking thru the difficulties of giving up comfort eating.

Hi

I was 7.5 stone overweight that's based on my ideal weight being approx 9stone as dictated by the health profession.

I have been lucky and reached the point that I thought I dont want to be fat anymore, I want to shop in normal clothes shops and I want to be slim and healthy for me and my children.

My problem was and still is I love food no point beating around the bush, but yes I love my food and this was my choice to eat the wrong stuff or eat too much. Justification to myself sometimes to eat was, well I don't have breakfast, often missed lunch aswell so at tea time my portion size was massive and then followed up later in evening with a nice chocolate bar.

So 55 days ago and many years of slimming clubs later (that cost a fortune) I set my target to get to 10stone and hopefully a size 12/14. So in these 55 days I have joined my fitness pal and been regular exercising and have lost 17ibs. This has been pretty much a regular 2ibs a week which to me is healthy weight loss and have more chance to maintain long term. I look on it as healthier eating not a diet and the exercise really helps and actually destresses me.

I eat 3 meals per day, portion sizes are reasonable and I snack on fruit. Friday nights I have a takeaway as my treat. Exercise min 5 nights per week and this may only be on my wii fit but I force myself to do it as it is only down to me if I do. Have started run couch to 5k which I recommend and also do a zumba class once per week.

What i'm trying to say is I know how you feel and it seemed the more disheartened I got with myself and my weight the more I also seemed to eat.

Good luck with it and believe in yourself that you can do it and you will :-)

Another one similar to you. I am 5 stone overweight and have very few family photos with me in them. I am tall so have been told I carry it well but I feel it every time I have to bend down or walk up a hill/stairs! I have been this way for 14 years now and it has ruined my life in terms of not taking up opportunities due to my low self confidence. My DD even has prettier underwear than me as I feel like I am too fat for the nice stuff!

I have tried Cambridge, LighterLife, Weightwatchers, Low Carbing (which I felt great on), Dairy and Wheatfree etc etc and I can only keep it up for 2 weeks as that is my tipping point. I am 40 next week and I counted down the days on my calendar in March, my countdown to being Fit and Forty and I am still bloody fat and will still be forty. I joined a gym in January as well and loved joining until I stopped. Shit, shit, shit!

I am obese and I think it is hard. I have been losing weight and have been trying to emulate thin friends habits. I think there are a number of issues you need tro consider.

1. Does being fat give you some kind of benefit that it is hard to let go of.It doesn't apply to everyone who is fat, but some people stay fat - even if unconciously - because it has benefits. Common benefits can be little sexual harassment/reduced fear of rape. Some women who have been raped or sexually abused unconciously stay fat as a way of trying to avoid future rape or sexual abuse (btw I do know that fat womem are raped - but our unconcious feelings are not necessarily logical). In this instance you need help coming to terms witrh sexual abuse/rape, being overweight is a symptom, but you need to deal with the root cause.

1. Overeating can be a coping mechanism for dealing with stress/hard times. If this is the case you need to find more positive ways of dealing with stress/hard times.

1. Recent research has shown that a significant proportion of the population are afraid of getting old and actually want to die before they get old. The problem is that many people will live to an old age, but in crap health. Is this you - if yes you need to think of the risk of living to old age but with crap health.

1. Sometimes some over eating can be down to habit and you need to change your habits.

I guess what I am trying to say is that yes to get slim you need to eat less. But often the resaons for over eating can be more complicated. And if you want to keep the weight off, imo you need to look at the reasons for over eating and address these.

Just to sat whoopsie that being a healthy weight is I don't think about following diets. Instead it is about changing your lifestyle. To do this I think you need to understand why you overeat.

And I think it is about some of our more hidden beliefs about the power/role of food. For example, I like a drink of wine to relax. But I am never tempted to have a drink before work for example.

In the same way I think some thin people would never be tempted to overeat on a regular basis.

so what benefit do we think over eating will bring?

And btw I also gave up smoking and found it easier than stopping over eating. But I think that is because you can totally stop smoking - you can't totally stop eating. I think in some ways that would be easier than trying to be sensible with eating food.

I am feeling more positive this morning. I think yesterday was another 'rock bottom' for me. I ate so much I felt ill and dont know why I could not stop.

I think for me I was always made to feel fat as a child by my mum. When I look back at pictures I was not fat at all but she made me feel it with her nasty comments.

I do not want to be fat any more and I know what I need to do. I just need to grit my teeth and get on with it