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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think I should just stop bloody eating too much

88 replies

FattyFattyBoomBoom · 03/10/2011 19:33

I am fat, obese etc etc.

I am 7 stone overweight and hate it.

I am a health professional educated to postgraduate degree level.

I have tried diets and seem to be able to drop a stone easily then it goes tits up. I look at fat people and think it looks horrible and I think they are stupid for the health risks etc but I still cannot seem to control my eating. I cannot look at myself in the mirror.

AIBU to have no idea why the fuckkity why I cant just stop eating too much and drop some weight ?

OP posts:
BruciesDollyDealer · 04/10/2011 16:50

im in a similar situation - nearing the end of my 40s and about 5 stone over weight :( I have recently started at WW and have found that if I eat what i like, BUT have smaller portions, then it seems to work. I have managed to shift two stones so far so pleased with that, albeit slow going.

ViviPru · 04/10/2011 16:51

*orange & cranberry muffins, not cookies

babycham42 · 04/10/2011 16:55

ViviPru I think it"s the case that exercise supresses your appetite as it releases happy hormones (or something like that!)I definately agree that I feel less hungry for ages after exercising but I find it needs to be an aerobic exercise.

ViviPru · 04/10/2011 16:59

ah yes - I thought it was something scientific that was too complex for me to fully grasp

gemandjule · 04/10/2011 17:23

I know exactly where you are coming from. I lost 6 stone eight years ago and have kept most of it off. I was always a bit over weight. Got worse when I went to Uni as started drinking, eating more rubbish and stopped exercising. I was 2 stone overweight when I got married and then had 4 pregnancies and put on a stone with each one which I never lost in between. I still don't know what triggered me to loose weight. My youngest was one, the others were in either play school or school and one day I just decided this was it. Like one of the other posters said I stopped eating all the crap, ever. I never have chocolate, sweets or cakes. I find it easier because I sort of forget the taste it I never have them! I never keep them in the house either as I don't want the kids having my issues. I make or buy a cake if we are having friends in or birthdays etc but then it all gets eaten as there is a big crowd so I'm not looking at it in the cupboard having to resist it over and over IYKWIM. I have a glass of wine or two once a week or if we go out. I love bread and cheese which I do have to keep in the house (2 teenaged boys!). every now and then my weight creeps up 1/2 a stone or so. Christmas, holidays etc. I try to do phase 1 of South Beach for 2 weeks to get back down again quickly. When I was loosing weight initially I literally just stopped eating anything except fruit between meals and reduced portion sizes, I used BBC Good Food for all our dinner because the calorie count is on every meal. I also walked, rain or shine, for 40 mins every day. I have maintained regular exercise which ash really helped me to keep it off,
Sorry so long. At the end of it I wish I had the magic cure but I really do know you can do it.
Oh, I also allowed myself a treat every half stone, but NOT a food treat, facial, new top etc. I think that made it very positive for me
Good luck

loudee · 04/10/2011 17:28

i haven't read whole thread so apologies if it's not relevant but have you read/heard any marcus brigstocke interviews about when he was obese? he described the addiction to food as being like wanting that stuffed happy christmas day feeling every day, like a hug from the inside (or words to that affect) which really resonated with me and helped me work out why i was abusing my body by constantly eating too much of the wrong food.

im still 2 stone overweight and think i'll always be yoyoing from a healthy weight to this but i used to be 5 stone overweight. good luck moving forwards. it's not easy but try to be gentle on yourself Smile

FattyFattyBoomBoom · 04/10/2011 17:28

yes I am aware I am acting the victim and I can make choices but it seems a few are in my boat (hope it does not sink).

The irony is I have coached people with suicidal thoughts to change their patterns of thoughts to change the behaviours ! I should try to listen to myself.

Tomorrow is it for me I am changing. I will not be fat and 40. I am going food cold turkey for awhile then low carb and lots of exercise. I have a plan and it is going to work.

If anyone wants a diet buddy pm me as we could motivate each other. I am going to do it this time.

OP posts:
FattyFattyBoomBoom · 04/10/2011 17:32

oh and I really really want to post in S + B

" please find me a lovely dress in a 12 for my 40th party "

not

"please find me a size 24 sack for a short round fat person on her 40th"

OP posts:
minipie · 04/10/2011 18:07

What do you mean you are going "food cold turkey"?

Do you mean some kind of fast? If so, please don't. You will bugger up your metabolism - your body will go into famine mode and will hang onto calories in case another meal never comes! and then when you eat more normally again, it will keep hanging onto those calories. Oh and you will crave "quick fixes" like sugar and starch because you are hungry. Seriously - fasting is not a good idea. If that is what you are suggesting.

FattyFattyBoomBoom · 04/10/2011 19:33

no I am not fasting. Doing a meal replacement diet until xmas to shift the first few stones.

I have done this before and it worked well and helped me readdress my huge huge food ishoos. I have done SW and other diets and still food is on my mind - what can I eat what can I not eat how much can I eat what shall I buy what shall I eat - it is an addiction. I think about it a lot actually all the time.

I found the meal replacement takes that away and gives my mind a chance to deal with the hunger and reasons why I eat. I know it is not a long term thing but I know it will help me to start to deal with this.

OP posts:
hmc · 04/10/2011 19:53

Yes babycham it is a bit like an alcoholic avoiding booze - I see that gemandjule has the same philosophy about giving up those addictive 'treat' foods completely and consequently has maintained her goal weight for eight years, so I think it works for some us...

minipie · 04/10/2011 20:41

Grin. Thought you were talking about complete starvation. I agree with you it's not a long term solution though but if it helps you start...
I do think that longer term the key is not trying to stop eating, but trying to eat healthier things instead. If you can make yourself reach for a piece of fruit or veg instead of a bag of crisps then that is great - you don't have to have nothing at all. Maybe keep a bag of satsumas in the car? Snacky veg (like radishes, celery, sugar snap peas) in the fridge?

Anyway, best of luck. I am rooting for you Grin

Avenged · 04/10/2011 22:28

I lost 6.5 stone by doing just 3 things. Those things were to start brisk walking until I got slightly out of breath, and to only drink water after 6pm (no food at all until breakfast time), as well as gradually decreasing my portion sizes so I gave my stomach time to adjust to the portions.

I was 15.5st as opposed to 8.5st being my maximum ideal weight (I should really be around 7.5-8st). I'm now down to around 9st, but losing the weight happened in a way that I barely noticed. I think the main way I lost the weight was to drink plenty of water.

aldiwhore · 04/10/2011 22:35

But Fatty the beauty about the (new) Extra Easy plan on Slimming World is that you CAN have food on your mind and in your belly as much as you like! There's a few basic principles, it takes about 2 weeks to get into a routine, but honestly I have NEVER felt so well, and am still a FOODY!

I tried SW years back and hated the 'you can't have this and that together' rubbish... now you can.

I love eating, that will NEVER EVER change. Now I'm just eating in a better more healthy way.

However you do it, good luck, and you know what? If you lose a few stone on some meal replacement diet then if that's what works for you, I wholeheartedly support your decision. Though I do believe a successful diet is for life, so you need to look at what you'll do after the purge of meal replacements, you could put on a few stone in a few weeks after you finish?

When are you 40? Don't pressure yourself TOO much, even if you're not in your size 12 dress by then, you could be well on your way... I planned to be in mine by my best friends wedding, I lost a stone, but was still the same BASTARD dress size. It made me realise how bad my lycra dependancy had got!!

Seriously good luck. Can't take your own advice eh?? Join the club! Congratulations, you're human. xxx

Candid · 05/10/2011 13:42

Aldiwhore can you tell me please what you eat in a typical day and what your weekly weight loss is like? I'm interested.....

ladydeedy · 05/10/2011 17:02

please join myfitnesspal (either on website, or on app on your phone or check the group on MN). It is a lifesaver. over the past years I have gradually lost around 4.5stone but then put back on a stone over the past year.
In the last 3 months I've been using myfitness pal app on my phone and it has honestly changed my life. so easy to use and you can track all your food intake and exercise. It's seriously made me reassess my portion control (lack of more like!) and encouraged me to be more active. I've gone from an uncomfortable size 14 to a 10 and I feel fantastic. I know if I didnt crack losing that stone when I did I would have gone on and on and back up to my heaviest weight.

Please join - you will not regret it. It will encourage you to eat healthily and learn to make choices - you dont have to deny yourself anything or do any fad dieting.
I know lots of people who are using it and with great success.

togetherwehaveitall · 05/10/2011 18:33

Bellend, I love your name!!!

BelleEnd · 05/10/2011 19:45

:o Why thank you!

Shutupanddrive · 05/10/2011 20:03

Exercise is the key! You are a lot less likely to cheat on your diet if you have just done an hour in the gym or whatever you choose to do. I bought a second hand treadmill from eBay to use at home and lost 3 stone! There is no way I could do it with diet alone. Quicker results too which is good if your impatient like me! Smile

runningwilde · 05/10/2011 21:02

Boomboom - what meal replacement do you use? X

aldiwhore · 06/10/2011 00:17

Candid Porridge (28g made with water, hate it with milk) for breakfast or fruit salad and yoghurt (can't eat egg - bummer), then some carrot and a dip made from tinned mackerel and fat free natural youghurt, lunch is usually soup (butternutsquash, or bean and lentil) maybe some cottage cheese (on its own) mid afternoon and for dinner loads of vegetables, sweet potato or slimming world chips (basically oven baked with very little oil - bloody lovely) and lean meat of some description. A glass of wine in the evening too.

At weekends I'll make a curry (slimming world friendly - Thai is my favourite, but instead of coconut milk I use skimmed milk that's had dessicated coconut soaking in it for 1/2 an hour or so... ) or 'skin off' chicken in bread crumbs, an English breakfast (without the sausage or maybe a quorn one, everything grilled) and a roast dinner on a sunday, plus wine. I usually have a heavy on the fat and sugar pudding as well on a Sunday, with custard, but only a small portion.

The rules are all meat has to have the skin/fat removed, if you use oil you use a spray version (or add a 'syn' count, you get 15 a day), you can have 350ml of skimmed milk per day (or variants of) OR a small amount of cheese (cottage cheese is free, I eat a lot of that) and you can have either your cereal or two slices of wholewheat bread per day.

Fats and sugars are usually the things with a syn value (there's 6 in a glass of wine, 4 in vodka, 23 in a standard muffin).

The diet IS low in good fats, these aren't free but you can work them into your day using your syn quota (syn stands for synergy - bollocks - its SIN really lol) so I have avocados and seeds regularly, but in limited amounts.

I eat more than I ever have and more regularly.

I've been going since March and have lost two stone, buut some weeks I've lost 3.5-4.5lbs, others I've maintained and often after holidays I've gained between 1-2lbs. BUT I know exactly where I've gone astray, and why I've not had a loss if that makes sense? Other members lose every week.

I'm slowing down at the moment, but I am happy with my diet, so I'm upping my (as yet non existant) exercise. That's my next challenge.

Sorry its long Candid I'll probably think of other 'rules' and habits, my diet is quite low on grains and eggs, because I can't stomach them (like them, they hate me) but I eat lots of wholewheat pasta and wholegrain rice which strangely suit me okay!

When I get to target, to maintain I'm planning on sticking with what I usually eat but adding some more 'good fats' and natural sugars (only downside is the use of sweetner, but I use an aspartame free one if I really need sweetness).

ladydeedy · 06/10/2011 08:53

I agree that exercise is the key, otherwise it can be a long and slow process and not that much fun. At least with exercise you start to feel better, more positive, have fun (really!) and it really helps move those pounds quicker! Plus if you go to a class or gym you're likely to mix with like-minded people and can be motivated further!

Candid · 06/10/2011 09:30

Thanks Aldiwhore. I looked on their website and bought the magazine so I'll try to follow some meal plans from there.
It looks quite good.

RogerMelly · 06/10/2011 09:39

ohh i am going to go look at this myfitnesspal, it sounds good!

I have lost 3 stone this year and I will not tell you it is easy, it is bloody hard work if you like food and are (sorry) lazy like me Blush I have had to literaly force myself to exercise regular and have had to talk myself out of eating things at times, but I have stuck to it and you can stick to it too. I have dont the weightwatchers plan as I felt being weighed every week by someone else is a good way of me facing up to what damage I have done...and for me it helps but I understand it doesn't work for everyone.

Then I started exercising just two times a week, walking. Then after a month I walked (as ina couple of miles) 3 or 4 and then built it up until every day. I find walking is easy to fit into my life plus it makes me feel so much better. Stress is a big part of my life as well as I am a carer but if I managed to get out and walk it does relieve the stress to a certain extent.

I think you need to draw a line in the sand and say this was yesterday, today is today and just get on with it tbh.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 06/10/2011 10:43

I'm on day 3 of myfitnesspal after being pointed to it on this thread the other day.

It rather like it.

I've also started doing the couch to 5K using the free podcasts on the NHS website.

I agree, you're less likely to cheat if you've done some exercise - it just means that all that hard work and sweating will have been for nothing.

Fingers crossed and good luck to everyone.