to think I should just stop bloody eating too much

[FattyFattyBoomBoom]

I am fat, obese etc etc.

I am 7 stone overweight and hate it.

I am a health professional educated to postgraduate degree level.

I have tried diets and seem to be able to drop a stone easily then it goes tits up. I look at fat people and think it looks horrible and I think they are stupid for the health risks etc but I still cannot seem to control my eating. I cannot look at myself in the mirror.

AIBU to have no idea why the fuckkity why I cant just stop eating too much and drop some weight ?

FattyFattyBoomBoom, I can relate totally. Ten years ago I was 95Kg and walked a few kilometres every day. Now I'm close to 140Kg and I've become an unmotivated lardarse. At one stage I had some health issues to use as an excuse, but they're sorted now so I only have myself to blame.

I always remember a conversation between Saffy and Eddie on Absolutely Fabulous. Eddie was bemoaning her weight gain and what to do about it, and Saffy said "Mum, you just need to eat less and exercise more." Eddie replied "Darling if it was that easy everyone would be doing it."

Try Stop the Insanity by Susan Powter.

Granted she's a bit out there but her books make loads of sense.

QuiteLikesShe'sABitOutThereTiggaxx

I'm the same way.

I think I equate food with love or caring. And I think I used to feel like my mom was disgusted with me for being heavy, so now I feel like "f*ck you, either like me when I'm overweight or don't like me at all," but it is really and truly holding me back from a lot of things. I want to lose at least 2 stone before I try to have another baby.

We can be diet buddies if you want! :)

And I am the same with pictures! I never want to be in them and I feel like...like I wasn't there at all, you know? All these fun memories with DH and DS and there's no proof I was there because I hate how I look.

You have to hit a tipping point, I think. Mine was being measured for a costume for am dram!

I was 16 stone then, in January. I'm now 10 stone 8. About a stone to go I think.

The thing is, it hasn't been hard, not at all. Every time I've tried in the past, I've failed after a stone then regained with interest! This time it's been totally steady.

Good luck to us all! :)

I have about a 2 and a half stone to lose.

Thanks for the pointer towards myfitnesspal, I've just joined.

I know that my weight gain is due to comfort eating/boredom, having put on weight to make myself less attractive and just liking the taste of the stuff!

I've just started doing the NHS couch to 5k. I don't know who it's aimed at (it claims the chronically unfit) but the first session nearly killed me!

I'm going to take myself off for a bracing walk across the moors later...

There aren't many photos of me either.

aw fatty! but I am reading "this is shit" but I am NOT reading !I want to adress this"

you cane easily put emotion into not liking the fact you are fat, and I bet you do, alot

but why are you not prepared to change??
its not rocket science!

stop buying the stuff
avoid socialising for a while
start to replace some of your commute with a walk
look up local WW groups (I dont care what people think they DO work)

I would love to see you out your energy into at least thinking of some solutions rather than bemoaning your fate

I've read recently that our expectations of how much weight we 'should' lose is what sets us up to fail and, as someone who is in exactly the same boat as the OP, (I recognise that I am overweight, I know the health risks, I want to change things but after the initial stone, I can't get any further when I try to lose weight) I would have to say that I can see the logic in this. It's disheartening when your weight loss slows down, even though you're still trying, and you end up thinking 'fuck it' and letting the healthy eating slide.
I'm 7 months pg with my first child at then moment, and I think by the end of the pregnancy, there's a chance that I might hit 20 stone. At the moment my knees have given up, my back has given up, my ankles are giving up and I'm constantly breathless, and I've still got a couple of months of growing left to do. It's really hit home to me that human being are not supposed to be this weight, and I've made the decision that I don't want to battle through life anymore, so I'm eating healthily at the moment, and as soon as I've given birth I will be stepping it up a gear but I won't be dieting, I will just be cutting out the crap and leading a healthy and active lifestyle and I won't be weighing myself everyday or even every week to see if I've lost, I'll just be ensuring that I am leading the best lifestyle that I can and allowing nature to take it's course, and I'll see where that gets me!! Fingers crossed!

slimming world works for me I eat loads when I am following it and it feels like a life choice / change rather than a diet. Unfortunately my issues around food, and my lack of motivation means I did not stick to it and put on weight again, I am just in the process of remotivating myself to lose enough weight to feel healthier as a goal rather than to be a certain dress size as small goals are better than looking at the total weight loss needed, take it in small chunks.

It is very very hard. I was fat for 7 years - after my second child was born I did not manage to lose the weight and in fact gained more. I attempted diet after diet only to loose a few pounds and then regain them. What worked for me was attending a Weightwatchers class every week - there was something about the 'official' weekly weigh in which made me stick to the straight and narrow, and consequently I have lost 61lbs to get to goal weight and am maintaining it (size 12 now which on my 5ft 9 frame is quite slim). I personally could not muster up the commitment to lose the weight 'online' - I needed a class.

The other thing that worked for me but many successful dieters would argue with this, is that I have cut out certain foods - trigger foods for me (triggering me to eat them to excess) entirely. I never, ever eat chocolate, sweets, cakes, biscuits, crisps or chips and never ever will again. I don't actually feel deprived about this (a lot of people expect me to) since I am still left with a lot of tasty things to eat - I just had to go cold turkey on these foods and give them up because I was irrational around them and could not moderate my intake of them

I think one thing that is helpful is to realise that almost everyone is greedy and "likes their food". As humans we are programmed to be like that so we can store up fat in times to plenty to get us through the hard winters. the problem is that there is now plentiful food all year round so the stores never get used so to stay a comfortable size we need to supress that natural instinct to overeat when food is available.

I noticed the weight starting to creep on so I use weightlossresources.com to calorie count. The thing I like about it is that it is not a diet. There are no forbidden foods. You could eat your entire calorie allowance in chocolate if you wanted to (but you would quickly fail because this won't fill you up). The food diary makes you realise how much you are actually eating versus how much your body needs to fuel you through your day. Getting this balance wrong by even 100 calories a day (that's a banana) means you are eating 36500 too many calories a year. That equates to around 10lbs of weight. Because it makes you realise what a reasonable portion is, it "trains" you. It's not a diet you do for x weeks and then go back to how you were. It helps change habits by making you understand what you are eating.

The other thing it brought home to me is how difficult it is to burn substantial amounts of calories from exercise. For me, a 45 minute run or an hour beasting myself in the gym, only burns around 500 cals. That's a flapjack and a piece of fruit, or a lunchtime sandwich. So you don't take the attitude of "I'm exercising loads so I can eat what I like". It just doesn't work like that. And understanding the calories in versus calories out equation helps you to keep the balance right.

It works for me.

A food diary sounds like a good idea. Write down everything you eat and drink in, say, a fortnight.

That will help you identify where the "extra" calories are coming from and what it is that makes you eat too much. It sounds like you've already identified one source - popping into the shops when driving for work.

Is there anything you can do that will help you stop doing that? For example, could you take a different route that does not have shops along it? Could you set your alarm a bit later so you literally don't have time to stop at the shops? Could you make sure you don't carry cash with you in the car (obviously you can always use a card, but it might make it a bit less easy).

I think part of the solution is knowing that you find it hard to say no, and so making other changes that will mean the option is simply not there.

Pulling rank a bit here (I have lost 4.5 stones and kept it off). Get thee to a weekly class (trying not to be evangelical about it)

I'm guilty of being very evangelical and am probably unreasonable, but I've had so much success that I have to take every opportunity to spout about it...

I have tried every diet under the sun and maybe lost a stone, then put it back on when 'normal' life resumes.

I joined Slimming World in March and have just got my 2 stone award (today actually), my friend who joined with me, and who had more to lose has just received her 4 stone award.

Its a food lovers diet, you will eat lots, there's even a KFC recipe that's 'free', I still have a bloody gorgeous curry on a Friday night, an English Breakfast on a Saturday and a huge Roast Dinner on a Sunday. I can still drink wine (yay!) and chocolate.

This diet works because it gives absolute clarity. You make choices in such a way that you KNOW where you're at and can keep track. Some people find the diaries work, some people find staying to group works (I stay to group, its such a giggle and utterly non judgemental). Via the Body Magic part of the diet, you can gently up your exercise until you're a normal active person, though most members go further, one of ours is running a marathon this year!

I've rambled enough OP. But I had to say that you CAN STILL EAT LOTS, but its the right things. I've never felt better in my life. (and no, I don't work for them!) Give it a go. It works. You'll never be hungry, you'll never deprive yourself, you won't feel miserable and you WILL get smaller. x

Sorry me again, have to add that even if you've done Slimming World before (red days green days crap) and WeightWatchers (the ever changing points), do it again...

I know that weightwatchers has changed its system to give more choice, as has Slimming World, I follow 'extra easy' which doesn't disallow anything at all, on any day.

I have lost 2 stone 5 pounds, another 2 1/2 stones to go. You have had lots of great advice here. Some things I have found useful are -
working out on the wi fit. I can do it in private. I started off slowly and can now do hour long workouts. Best of all I have now gained enough confidence [and increased cardiovascular fitness] to start swimming again, for the 1st time in years.
Portion control is vital. You also have to find foods that suit you. I have cut down on fats as I was getting heartburn a lot. I bought a decent non stick frying pan and some spray cooking oil, that way I can cook curries, stir fry's etc and still keep the calories down. It is important to enjoy your food.
Weigh everything, especially at 1st. I bought a little set of salter scales that weighs to the quarter ounce.
Use a smaller plate. Eat slowly and drink a glass of water with your meal.
Try to stick with it for at least 3 weeks, that way you give yourself an opportunity to re educate your taste buds and your appetite. I can honestly say I no longer want to eat larger amounts now.
Above all, don't think of it as a diet. It isn't temporary, it is a new lifestyle. You honestly will feel the benefits. I already feel so much healthier and more energetic. eg I enjoyed the heatwave we just had ,instead of puffing and sweating I was able to get out ,go swimming and do things. I didn't get the rash under my breasts that I normally get.
You really can do it. Best of luck.

Well done boom for facing the problem - if you gave up smoking you can give up excessive eating.

1 year ago, I got a new job, desk based. Most weeks, especially in the run up to Christmas, colleagues bought in cake and chocolates and that, combined with my already junk food-heavy diet and decreased physical activity led to me gaining 6lbs between October and January. At that time, I decided I need to do something otherwise I would continue to gain more and more weight.

But, I hate the idea of dieting - don't want to feel bad if I eat anything unhealthy, and also I don't see the point - if I dieted for 6 months, lost a stone, then went back to my previous lifestyle, I would just put all the weight back on and feel like a failure.

The solution, I thought, is to change my lifestyle rather than go on a diet. There were three action points - 1. more exercice, 2. eat less food generally, 3. what i am eating, needs to be more healthy. The aim of the game for me was to get used to these things and make them feel normal - I was changing my lifestyle forever, not untl I lost x number of pounds. I will lead a healthy lifestyle, and my weight will adjust itself accordingly. I will not obsess about how much weight I loose, just focus on making healthy choices (in part, I was inspired by that thread about the mediterranean SIL who ate ham and eggs and stuff for breakfast rather than special K).

Since January I have lost 1 stone 4 pounds, it has been slow, but I guess that must be healthy weight loss (1-2lbs/week?).

For your splurge in the car moments, why not buy some grapes/strawberries/other tasty healthy snack food, prepare them the night before in a tuppaware. Pop it in your bag, then when you are tempted to stop off for food, just get your fruit tuppaware out! Good luck and well done for facing up to it. >encouragement!

Sorry for that long one, but had to add, at first it was difficult to get used the new lifestyle, but after a few weeks I started to get into the swing of it, and the healthy choices came naturally rather than me having to think about it and make an effort to do it. Also, I feel MUCH better and healthier for it. Don't get out of breath walking upstais!

Forget about losing weight. Don't think about being obese and fat.

Think in terms of your health. Think about how eating a variety of fresh fruit vegetables, lean protein and compl;ex carbs nourishes your body and provides your body with important vitamins and minerals to function better.

Think about how eliminating or drastically reducing fat, sugar and processed food can halt any further steps you're taking to diabetes or heart diseases and general ill health.

Your body is amazing. Fuel it better and respect it more.

Well said swimlittlefish. Those were my principal reasons for wanting to lose weight. I wanted to reduce my chances of developing diabetes, cardiovascular and other obesity related diseases, and to make the most of my life. Looking and feeling better is a great bonus.

i know it's hard as when i was overweight i just couldn't see why it kept piling on - i went on a detox diet for a month - it was good because it has changed my eating habits and maybe shrank my belly as i don't get hungry all the time anymore.
what helped me was - exercise - do it when ever you can - exercise video at home in the evenings - i do 30 day shred - it keeps you occupied and less tempted to eat after wards.
running in the park or going to a few keep fit classes a week.
walking everywhere.
no chocolate in the fridge. only the odd biscuit - certainly not everyday.
never buy another take-away again.
good luck xx

this is the detox book i used - really good healthy eating - www.amazon.co.uk/Detox-Yourself-Jane-Scrivner/dp/0749917660

try googling EFT for weight loss, there is a recent study that shows it was effective (it's basically tapping on certain pressure points when you feel the need to stuff your face - I use it for nerves, anxiety, insomnia, you name it)

My friend lost weight in a good way (ie it stayed off) with a book called Fit for Life. Apparently the science behind it is a load of bollox, but she had great results from it (the gist of it is only fruit till midday, then lunch and dinner that combine protein+ veg or carbs+ veg, but giving you lots of freedom of choice)

good luck, you sound determined

hmc I reckon you"ve got the right idea with the never eating certain foods again - we don"t need that crap anyway and psychologically once you"ve had a bag of crisps it"s so easy to think "well,I"ve fucked up now so I may as well do it properly and really pig out on all the things I can"t eat and start my diet tomorrow".....Also you can break your addictions to certain foods.If you are an alchoholic they say you have to give up the booze for good so it seems to make perfect sense that if you certain foods control you,rather thanyou controlling them you should leave them well alone!

Fatty do you find that when on a diet you think about food even more?
There"s several people talking so much sense on here.Rather than thinking about food,how much you need to lose,being on a diet etc. why not just forget it all and not weigh - just make healthy choices and eat when you"re hungry,drink a glass of water with meals,and step up activity in any small way you can.Give yourself permission to eat.

Sugar snap peas are delicious for a sweet treat.

Its a tired old cliche about exercise, but the ONLY way I can control my weight is this way.

I have found 3 forms of exercise that I absolutely LOVE (pretty much hate every other form) and I do them because I like them, and maintaining weight is just a happy by-product.

I still struggle with it, but if I've exercised that day I find it easier not to eat unhealthily for some reason.

I also find it easier to eat healthily if I've made a supply of low-fat sweet treats. Google low fat orange and cranberry cookies and apple sauce brownies to give an idea.