to ask that if passers-by want to judge my toddler in a buggy they should at least get out of earshot?

[welliesandpyjamas]

really! To have the time and inclination to judge on it is one thing (really, aren't there more awful things to worry about?) but to comment on it while I can still hear them on a quiet street is well, just dim (not to mention rude)

Yes, he is in a pushchair and yes he does look about 3 yrs old (he's not, he's 2.5 and tall) but we also have a two mile round trip to ds1's school over some incredibly busy roads. He can walk about half a mile at a fair pace but after that it becomes a snail's pace unless we are going to the park.

AIBU to have a little whinge about this? I certainly try not to go around judging automatically. And no, I wasn't brave enough to turn around and say all of the above. Not around here

My 2 year old could do the 2 mile round trip to drop her sister off at school but you know what? I'd rather we did something more interesting than take 45 minutes each way along a noisy, busy road so I put her in the pushchair (sometimes for the entire time !), it takes less than half the time and we do something much more enjoyable (eg go to the park, go swimming, visit friends).

YANBU OP, they are fuckwits and have no idea of the bigger picture, but thats just the problem with judging people isn't it.

I really don't understand how anyone can think that a toddler can walk 2.5 miles to and from school.

I really don't. I have three children, we don't have a car and I know from bitter experience how much a buggy is needed. Toddlers get tired, hungry, sleepy, ill. Buggies are useful.

My kids jump in and out of it as they wish. My four year old jumped in for a bit while the toddler ran ahead. She was knackered after her first full week at school. I don't care what people think.

my son walked every where from the age of 2 he was a very hyper child ( he is being tested for adhd) but my daughter still gets tired so is still using her buggy at the age of 2 and god knows when she will stop using it.

Oh god my 2yr old easily looks 4 ...ive never knowingly heard anything like that pretty shitty

Love the way most people on this thread whose DC is/was older than 2yrs and still in a buggy are vehemently claiming it's fuck all to do with anyone else, but then justifies/defends/explains their reasons.

I don't give a monkey's toss if you want to keep your DC in a buggy until their 25....I don't have to push them around!! It's fuck all to do with me or anyone else!! People should concentrate on their own lives and their own DC's and BEAK OUT!!!

Why justify/defend/explain?

"Why justify/defend/explain?"

So people will understand the possible reasons why (and also that it doesn't really matter) and hopefully, finally STFU.

Sometimes people see my 3.5yo DS in the buggy. They may judge us.

However it is very rare, when he is having a tantrum and refusing to put on his shoes (but I still need to get DD to school on time), when his DG takes him to the park (and is overly worried about coping with him by the road, when I need to do a long shop (IKEA or similar) and want him where I can see him for at least some of the time.

Sometimes I do the school run by car too!

I agree with the poster that simply wished other people would fuck off.

Walking with an under-4 often means walking slowly. Sometimes I want some exercise, and I don't find I'm pushing myself physically while meandering along behind a 3-year-old. Sorry, but I'm more concerned about my own personal fight against obesity sometimes!! And the pushchair workout is a good one. The DC get tons of exercise, but sometime days the school run is it for me, and I want it to count. So shoot me.

They'd be just as critical if you made him walk and used a harness to keep him safe in the traffic. You can't win. Just practise a few witty yet cutting retorts so you are primed and ready for next time.

If YABU OP it is only for giving a shit what they think. They're nothing and no one.

Never underestimate the judginess of people you've never met, and never take it seriously either. There is no aspect of parenting on which everyone agrees... except that some other people are doing it wrong.

I really don't care if people use buggies until their children are however old the parent feels the need to use one BUT I remember about 1 1/2 years ago I sold a buggy to a customer who's daughter was 4 yrs old and was drinking milk out of a bottle which age gave her to convince the girl tonsil down. She kept complaining about how the market didn't cater for her needs (no disability or learning difficulties), meaning her size. The girl was obese an I can only assume that it was do to lack of exercise and too much food. I tried to hint that the reason we didn't have a stroller which was suitable was because her child was too big for buggies, she'd past that stage, but I didn't want to offend. What really got me is that her son (looked about 7 yrs old) kept telling her "but mum she's too big, she has to walk". How comes he could see it and the moter couldn't? In that istance I really couldn't help it but to put my judgemental cap on. Sorry!

"which she gave her to convince her to sit down" not age and not tonsil. Getting fed up of autocorrect. Anyone know if I can turn it off?

Sorry, can't help with the autocorrect but thought it was a funny typo I thought you meant the bottle of milk was to help the girl with tonsil pain or something!

YANBU to be annoyed, but yabu to expect anything else, people love to hoik on there judgey pants

DS is 2.3 and we still use the buggy in the mornings because it would take an hour to walk him to nursery, and whilst it is only a mile, I need to be at work and don't want to leave home at 7am to get him to nursery and get to work on time

He looks about 3/4 as he's so tall and a few time's I've had to bite my tounge and ignore similar comments on the bus - what is it with nosey old ladies?!?

Often those who are the most judgey either have cars (meaning they can just throw the DC in if they're in a hurry and will walk far less overall anyway) or don't remember/didn't have the time contraints that mean you can't always walk wherever at a toddlers snail pace

There will always be idiots who can't be aresed to teach their kids how to behave properly when walking/encourage laziness like the woman in SurprisEs example, and we all get lumped in together

Ironically, this weekend I got told off for letting DS walk around town by a similarly rude old bat, who said I should have him on reins as he was "obviously uncontrolable" as he was walking a few feet in front of me (perfectly nicely btw) and asked me what the point off my having a buggy was if I wasn't going to use it..

You just can't win as some people just love to critisice others no matter what you do

Their pants Oh the grammatical shame

It's an iPhone. But I'll have a quick look on settings. Fedup of it trying to guess what I'm going to write!

good on you for walking a good hour a day instead of caring it.
Ignore.
People are very self important with their opinions.
Totally reasonable to push chair it.

YANBU at all. People need to mind their own fucking business!

Well yesterday DD1 & DD2 were going to be picked up from school/playschool by DD1's friend's mum so they could go to tea.

I took DD2 to playschool in DD3's little fold-up pushchair (I slung DD3) so the mum wouldn't have to deal with unfolding/folding/lugging 18kg of SN pushchair up the stairs of her 1st floor flat/leaving it outside the flats plus I wouldn't mind so much having to find £30 to replace the fold up one if it got stolen from playschool/friend's flats as I would £2500 to replace DD2's SN one.

While DD2 is under the weight capacity of the little pushchair, she just about squeezes in it height wise. One of the mums at the playschool gate went 'Look at that big BABY' to DD2. I just glowered at her but I think I am going to have to go with fuck off an explanation of DD2's 'problem' instead.

Why is it anyone's business if she needs to ride in a pushchair? If I don't explain they think that it's acceptable to take the piss out of a child to their face, if I do explain DD2 get's to deal with the pitying looks or worse from people.

I should have just got a wheelchair and be done with it (not that she is that immobile but she might get a break then).

:-( truthsweet

So with all these rude judgemental types out there, I think it's safe to say the rest of us can feel smug that we were raised to be more polite and kind. AIBU?

DS4 is 3.5 and I still use a buggy at times, not often now but if I HAVE (as in have been forced, would naver choose) to take him and ds3 out alone, let along alone the whole 4.

DS4 has SN- not diaggnosed yet but in rpocess of; he's fairly mild but does have his moments and panic attacks (develops sudden aversions to shops that we can't seem to overcome, runs away etc); ds3 has a more severe variant of the same, both are invisible SN, and frankly I have stopped caring if others have a problem with that as they don't have to live my life.

Even if I might think something judgy I don't say it! When DD3 had her last asthma attack, one of the children on the ward had a dummy at about 7 years old but as she was in hospital I figured there was a reason for her needing it and kept schtum just as I would if I saw a 7y/o walk out of school like that.

as with so many of these questions - you really just have to have a spine and trust your own decisions. I don't think twice about putting my 3+ year old in a buggy to go out for several hours that will involve plenty of walking. Or even for a walk to the shop if he's being a real pain. He may end up walking but at least there's the option.