to ask that if passers-by want to judge my toddler in a buggy they should at least get out of earshot?

[welliesandpyjamas]

really! To have the time and inclination to judge on it is one thing (really, aren't there more awful things to worry about?) but to comment on it while I can still hear them on a quiet street is well, just dim (not to mention rude)

Yes, he is in a pushchair and yes he does look about 3 yrs old (he's not, he's 2.5 and tall) but we also have a two mile round trip to ds1's school over some incredibly busy roads. He can walk about half a mile at a fair pace but after that it becomes a snail's pace unless we are going to the park.

AIBU to have a little whinge about this? I certainly try not to go around judging automatically. And no, I wasn't brave enough to turn around and say all of the above. Not around here

My neighbour boasts her DD doesn't need the buggy anymore- but she bloody DRiVES everywhere! I'm sure she doesn't need a buggy to walk from the car park into sainsburys! We on the other hand walk pretty much everywhere and DD1 does a combo of walking, scooting and sitting in the pushchair depending on how tired she is/how late we are. I have no problem with it (she's 3.5) and will probably let her carry on til we eventually sell the phil n teds (DD2 is 15 months)

AIBU for judging FantasticVoyage for giving a shit about how long people keep their kids in a buggy?

This is one of those mummy things that I've seen come up again and again and it BAFFLES me. Why should anyone care? why? WHY?

I've let my toddler set the pace when out and about in London and it's lovely, as long as I have an hour to go a mile and don't mind herding cats.

Regarding kids staying in buggies too long being bad or not - there's always something somewhere on the internet. If I look I can find evidence to suggest that Hitler was a nice fella really, that it was my fault that the flasher chased me down a street in broad daylight when I was 18 and also solid proof that the earth is flat. Strangely enough just because it's on the internet doesn't make it correct or even relevant.

YANBU. I have taken to saying "Oh look DS, a rude person"

DS is 2.6 and doesn't speak but is having SALT and is starting to pick up random words or I might use a more choice phrase.

wellies and kungfu I last carried DS1 last summer, in Edinburgh, aged 5. That got some looks, especially when he went to sleep! (the baby was asleep in the SN buggy, hence the carrying of Giant Child)

The comments tend to be along the "Ooh, you'll wreck your back/ he's too clingy/ oh I could NEVER get on with slings" (usually from people who've tried a Bjorn for 10 minutes.) Maybe not judgemental per se, just annoying!

I my mei tai, bet I could carry an adult in it! A small one.

But on the other side of the coin how else will they learn to walk not run off if they are stuck in a buggy.

"These are the type of people who say their kid was sitting up at two months, potty trained by nine months and running a fucking marathon at 12 months. Can't stand them!"

kblu too right. I made DS walk to nursery (300m) at 15 months when I was heavily preg. Half way he started to 'want a carry' and Isaid no and encouraged him to walkthe last little bit. An old interfering with no basis whatsoever for passing comment and if he'd do such a good job why doesn't he do it or at least offer to give me a fucking hand man said "Poor thing, he's had enough" mix in preg hormones a harrassed and late morning, plus winey toddler, it is a wonder he is still alive. I just gaped after him speechless with fury.

Can't do wrong for doing right these days.

my DS WAS IN A BUGGY TILL HE WAS 5....
loved it when people made comments to each other i'd just look and smile thinking on how pathetic they were .
as not even to ask me if they was that Interested even if its none of there business, why he was in a buggy !

No one has to justify why they do anything (no matter how far the walk, tall the child, SN etc etc) its quite simply no one elses business!!
Anyone rude enough to comment on something which is clearly nothing to do with them is open to abuse and abuse should be heaped upon them

NacMac - one day recently DD3 had fallen asleep in DD2's SN pushchair on the school run so DD2, on being picked up from playschool, asked to go in the sling. Boy did I get some looks with her feet knocking against my knees. C'est la vie, etc, etc.

I have a double buggy for my 2 and 1 year old. When our new baby is born i will either have 3 under three or a just three year old a 16ish month old and a new baby. I did used to use a sling but i cant do that now because of a hip problem which makes it pretty uncomfortabke even for shirt distances.
When the new baby arrives I will still have a 2.5 mile round trip for the school for the oldest, i am not sure that my daughter could walk it tbh - she didnt walk until she was 20 months for some reason her legs were wierdly turned in so she is not a seasoned walker yet and gets tired easily.

I am planning to either buy a buggy board if i think she will eb abel to stand securely on it OR a triple buggy since we live on a very busy main road with quiet, wide pavements. If someone decides to judge then um they can fuck off.

rainbow2000 - in our case, that happens on any non school run trips or any trips when time is not of the essence. DS2 walks with his big brother and I push an empty buggy until either we get to where wwe are going, or if he is already tired, he decides to get in to the buggy himself. He is learning by observing his brother's correct roadside behaviour while he is sitting down and learning by copying when he is out of the buggy. In parks and woods it is very rare that he gets in to the buggy, but that's different.

rainbow2000 But on the other side of the coin how else will they learn to walk not run off if they are stuck in a buggy.

Using a buggy doesn't mean they never walk anywhere!

When I first joined MN there was a thread just like this. A woman I was arguing with on that said that she had her first baby due this summer just gone (so no previous buggy/toddler experience) and that her and her husband both "didn't approve of buggies" . . . would love to know how they get on as their dc gets older [evil laugh]

me too, whosegot

I have 3 DC, 4, 2 and 5 months. When I have just two of them (one at school, or at nursery) I can stick the remaining two in the double pushchair and powerwalk for miles and miles with it to keep fit. Way beyond what a toddler could manage in terms of speed and distance. I don't exactly have many other opportunities for exercise and we can't afford a gym subscription and creche fees - walking with the pushchair is free and fun! And I can talk to the children as I do it.. quality time.

Sometimes I'll let one out to walk (not the 5 month old!) so they're not in it all the time, just when I'm "going for it". It's a testament to the amount we otherwise do let them exercise that they can both easily do 4 miles without a rest.. just not at a useful pace for me exercising sadly.

You should see the looks I get though, especially with the oldest child in the pushchair. Nobody has dared say anything but that's usually because I'm walking so fast I am out of earshot quickly. But if I didn't go out we'd just be sitting in the living room which would be worse, but more socially acceptable..

Bloody vocally judgemental sorts!!

YANBU at least they are out in the fresh air, not strapped in the car.

I looked after my nephew with my DS, so used the double buggy for the school run until they were 4. Keeping them safe walking along the main road was priority. My DS is very tall for his age and people used to ask me if he was having a day off school ill.

I did used to turf them out to walk the last little bit of the journey, along a quiet road. I got them home quickly by declaring that the last one to the front door was a banana!

Welliesandpyjamas I had the same thing last week! We have very busy roads around and it was coming up to rush hour, so I (thought sensibly) put an overtired ds (2.5 looks about 3) in the buggy, he was very cross...wanted to walk with his brother..so I was feeling bad about this but needed to get across the road (also the hill is very steep so it wasn't entirely safe us all walking- little narrow pavements steep hills and fast roads around this city centre)

So a couple (with no kids) going by say "he's a bit big isn't he?!"

So, so helpful...

Oooh bizarre! Apart from the hill, we are Buggy Experience Twins

I'm actually considering buying a buggy for DD and she's 2.6. DS2 is 6 months but I sold the double in August as she was walking most places although quite slowly. Now DS1 has started school, the school run is awful. It's not even that far, a 5-10 minute walk for me or 15 minutes with DD but she's so slow and has weak hips and ankles so falls a lot so I'm thinking of buying a double second hand for the winter months especially the snow. Plus the school is on top of a hill which isn't going to be fun if it does snow.

I hate people who judge loudly though, DS1 didn't talk until nearly 3 but he was the size of a 5 year old and I used to get constant comments. Even questions like, 'What's wrong with him?' and 'Is he a bit...you know...?'

Children in buggies walk more than children in cars.

It's a lot easier to pop out of a buggy onto the pavement and run along for a bit than to pop out of a car!

Cars = giant buggies for parents IMHO.

Pushchairs are fine for kids up to and even over 4 years especially for round trips. It's all very well getting a three-year-old to run for a couple of miles in one direction but you've gotta get back as well!

"So silly that so many people have had similar exoeriences! Is it because people feel they have a right to comment where children are concerned?"

I think- and I'm not entirely sure about this, but I think it's because people are, on the whole, cunts.

Oh, maaaaan, tethersend between yours and oatcake's posts, you have quite frankly made it worthwhile being judged on my buggying!

Guffawing out loud here