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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give 2yr old dd our bedroom?

118 replies

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 29/09/2011 23:49

Well, nearly 3yr old dd.

We have a lovely 3bed house (atlast) decent sized bedrooms, we have the biggest, ds in middled sized (only because psl have carpets down and his room happened to have road map carpet) dd then has the smallest.

It just doesn't work as a kids room at all, the only way a single bed will fit takes over the whole room and she's left with no space at all. I have a lovely handmade carved with flowers pine bed that was mine as a child, I really want dd to have it but its huge. Also we can only fit a teeny wardrobe in and she needs a bigger one.

My room has a built in wardroble and room for this bed, she also has all the girly huge toys. Dressing table, rocking horse, prams, dolls house (all grandma) and has just been given that fucking great huge butterscotch fureal pony.

Me and dp decided since she plays in her room and has a lot of stuff we don't want all over the living room wed swap, our kingsize fits in her room and our chest of drawers, only one of us can have a bedside cabinet but neither of us is bothered and we have two huge build in cupboard in the hall we'll use as wardrobes.

Our plan is for her birthday instead of toys we'd decorate our room peppa pig as she's not had a 'theme' so to speak and switch rooms.

We've been told its over indulgent and ridiculous.

Is it. Are we being indulgent? Aibu? Me and dp see it as we have a whole house and simply require our room to sleep etc, also when family stay the dcs share and this would be far easier.

OP posts:
horribledinners · 30/09/2011 11:15

Seems like a good idea space wise but Sad thinking of your 2 yo playing upstairs by herself, shouldn't her toys be in main living area? (might help sleep too)

someone suggested roomshare the middle room and use smaller room as play room. seems the best idea IMO

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/09/2011 22:23

Horribledinners- its not all the time I did say in pp we have a huge play table with two huge trundle boxes underneath in the lounge and the play kitchen and trolley etc in the dinning room. Usually doors wide open to the garden too, Its weekends when it happens mainly. Ds is home all day and they seek out space from each other and she likes setting all her stuff up in her way as does ds so certain things we felt we should keep seperate, her peppa bits/his trains. Some days she only plays in there whilst I shower and dress, if she plays upstairs I always end up in there with her, I get lonely lol, she isn't alone for any length of time ever. Also the toy storage is the issue, she can cart what ever she wants downstairs so long as it has a home elsewhere when necessary.

I'm pretty sure we'll do it short term until we can afford a new bed, good storage etc.

I just want to be able to set up her peppa bits and bobs and let her leave it out i love doing it with her child at heart for her, of course

OP posts:
Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/09/2011 22:29

We aren't painting at all, house is private let so all magnolia, I'm planning on a big poster and some stick arounds, bedside lamp, she has plain lilac curtains which are fine and the ceiling lights a fitted one we can't change iyswim.

Just to clear it up, the bed was mine as a child, I'm not buying one, she grew out of her toddler bed in the time we were homeless and spent the first week here falling out non stop. Mil kindly brought both dcs brilliant mattresses, ds has inherited a simple pine bedstead hence the urge to use mine that's simply stored at mums.

OP posts:
crazycarol · 30/09/2011 22:30

What does/will your ds feel about this with his little sister getting the biggest bedroom? As a child I was so jealous of my sister having a bigger bedroom than me and thought it very unfair.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/09/2011 22:45

He is 4.2yr. I know I risked getting flamed but I talk to my kids about things we often ask them what they'd like to do what they think, yes they're still babies but this house is there's too, ds take on it was, "then she can't come in my room""umm ok son" he ran upstairs first when we viewed this and chose his room, it has a road map carpet laid, which he loves and he can watch the trains from his room, he's adamant he's happy there.

This will be reviewed as years go by. In any case we can't stay here 'permanently' as its a housing charitys psl and eventually our 'need' won't be significant to someone elses.

OP posts:
MowlemB · 01/10/2011 22:02

If you were planning on staying in there until you moved in a few years / had an extension built etc, then I'd say great idea, go for it.

However, I'm not sure it would be fair on your DD to ask her to move out of her lovely big bedroom and lovely big bed in a few years to a much smaller room. I know my DDs wouldn't like it. They have recently gone from sharing the big room, to having a room each and neither daughter (7 and 4) wanted the small room.

Our small room sounds smaller than yours, as it is not even wide enough to put a full length single. Instead we have bought her a 2 foot 6 mid sleeper, that is shorty length (only 182 cm) so it fits in the small room and then she has all her toys stored underneath. We've put a bed tent underneath so it makes a den. They get rid of the big toys so quickly, at 4 DD no longer plays with her big stuff. Its all polly pocket and barbies these days.

I think you're looking very short term, and I'd be concerned about the longer term imho. If you want to give your children more space in the shorter term, I'd think seriously about your two sharing. Perhaps they could both sleep in the smaller room, (you can get shorty bunk beds that are lower, suitable from the age of 4 - my eldest DD was in the top bunk of one at 4) with the middle room as a play room, and then separate them when your DD is old enough to go into her own mid sleeper at 4.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 01/10/2011 22:45

Mowiem- I didn't know you could get shorter beds, will deffinatly look into that! That would solve all the issues!

We can't stay here many years anyway as its a private let through a housing charity eventually they will move us on its classed as temporary but we've asked to stay two years to fully fix our finances. That will be decided at the 6mnth milestone.

OP posts:
MowlemB · 01/10/2011 22:59

We got this one in white.

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/7382501/Trail/searchtext%3EMIDSLEEPER.htm

It is great because it takes up less than half the room. DD can manage the steps no problem, but she is 4. Would think it is too high for a 2 year old though.

sarahtigh · 01/10/2011 23:08

i don't get how a room can be barely big enough for a single bed ,, yet somehow a king size bed can fit in ok

if a king size bed can fit it its plenty big enough for a toddler

exoticfruits · 01/10/2011 23:13

I would say that if a kingsized bed fits in then it is plenty big enough for her.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 01/10/2011 23:41

That's brilliant, will measure her room tomorrow and see if it can fit the way her toddler bed did.

She's 3 in november and can scale a huge climbing frame with ease, its just my anxiety steering away from ladders, I think that could be an option though.

OP posts:
mummytotwoboys · 02/10/2011 01:12

YABU dont give up your lovely room, its YOURS!!!! Get her a high sleeper with room for things underneath, our DDs room is 5ft5 by 6ft5 and the airing cupboard takes up a corner - its TITCHY but its hers :)

RnB · 02/10/2011 08:03

My boys have the master bedroom as it's nice for them to have plenty of room to play so imo YANBU. Just because the OP can squeeze a king size bed in a room doesn't mean it would be a nice laying environment of her dd and loads of large toys.

However regarding the peppa pug theme YABU - sorry! Just get a few bits to dot around the room - themed bedrooms are tacky imo

RedHelenB · 02/10/2011 08:22

Personally I think your being over indulgent but it's your decision. Sounds like there is lots of space for toys on the landing.

diddl · 02/10/2011 08:56

We have the biggest bedroom on the grounds that there are two of us in it!

LittleMissFlustered · 02/10/2011 12:06

How many people complaining about kids getting the bigger room had to put up with tiny rooms as children? They're places to sleep when you hit adulthood, the possessiveness being shown it quite breathtaking, and dare I say it childish!

I would rather all the junk and tat toys and stuff was in their rooms and brought out to play with as and when, rather than littering the living room which is where most people choose to relax of an evening.

IloveJudgeJudy · 02/10/2011 12:54

Ime by giving your DC the largest room you are giving them the message that they are more important than you, the adult, and that is not good for them growing up. I absolutely definitely would not do it. There are two of us, only one of the DC in each room. Also, we didn't want them to play upstairs on their own when they were that young; they always played downstairs.

doublechocchip · 02/10/2011 13:16

If your dd had a tiny box room then I would think yanbu but with the space that you've described it sounds like it should be fine for her. IKEA is awesome for storage ideas some of which I bet you've never thought about. Keep the big room for you and if need be use it to store some of her clothes.

4madboys · 02/10/2011 13:23

i dont think you are being unreasonable and its something we are considering!

it sounds like the single bed you have is one that is ornate and would be a bit dominating in her room? and also saying a double bed would fit doesnt make the room that big, if as you say the bed would touch three walls! it means the bed will fit and not much else.

i am guessing the problem is not not being able to fit in furniture, but that once the furniture is in the room, there is not much left over floor space? and kids need floor space! if you are happy and she will have more floor space then swap :)

you can always swop back and bribe her with a cabin bed/high sleeper and being able to re-decorate if she isnt keen!

LittleMissFlustered · 02/10/2011 13:43

ILove How can your children get that message from a room? If you act like they are hierarchically more important than you then the size of their room is a moot point. It's just walls and floor space. I really do not understand the mindset that space = superiority. Space = room to put stuff. Not who is in charge.

choirmum · 02/10/2011 13:55

Our house originally had 2 double and 1 very small single bedrooms. We extended over the garage and created a long but narrow bedroom with ensuite which we've moved into, giving our DC a double room each and turning the single into a study/library (sounds grand but I only mean full of bookshelves!!). This works for us as we only have 1 reception room which was full of toys when DC were younger. This way, we all have enough personal and storage space and the lounge is free of clutter. It works really well for us (DD was 4 and DS 6 at the time). I don't see how the size of the bedroom inflicts importance on the individual in a normal, balanced houshold. Go for it!

cat64 · 02/10/2011 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JennyPiccolo · 02/10/2011 14:41

it's your house! YANBU to do whatever the fuck you want.

ninja · 02/10/2011 14:48

Cabin bed/mid sleeper (not as high as a bunk bed) is an option - my DD has one at that age and has no problems, we got it off ebay and there are always lots on there and preloved.

However, I've been tempted to take a smaller room for the reasons that you've talked about above

fatlazymummy · 02/10/2011 15:25

I don't just sleep in my bedroom. I keep my clothes, get dressed, do my hair and make up in it, and if I had a partner I guess I'd do other things in it as well. I used to have a double bed pushed up against the wall due to lack of space and I was always the one who had to sleep on the inside and climb over to get up. I hated it. I agree it is different for a single person though, I would quite happily sleep in a boxroom now.