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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give 2yr old dd our bedroom?

118 replies

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 29/09/2011 23:49

Well, nearly 3yr old dd.

We have a lovely 3bed house (atlast) decent sized bedrooms, we have the biggest, ds in middled sized (only because psl have carpets down and his room happened to have road map carpet) dd then has the smallest.

It just doesn't work as a kids room at all, the only way a single bed will fit takes over the whole room and she's left with no space at all. I have a lovely handmade carved with flowers pine bed that was mine as a child, I really want dd to have it but its huge. Also we can only fit a teeny wardrobe in and she needs a bigger one.

My room has a built in wardroble and room for this bed, she also has all the girly huge toys. Dressing table, rocking horse, prams, dolls house (all grandma) and has just been given that fucking great huge butterscotch fureal pony.

Me and dp decided since she plays in her room and has a lot of stuff we don't want all over the living room wed swap, our kingsize fits in her room and our chest of drawers, only one of us can have a bedside cabinet but neither of us is bothered and we have two huge build in cupboard in the hall we'll use as wardrobes.

Our plan is for her birthday instead of toys we'd decorate our room peppa pig as she's not had a 'theme' so to speak and switch rooms.

We've been told its over indulgent and ridiculous.

Is it. Are we being indulgent? Aibu? Me and dp see it as we have a whole house and simply require our room to sleep etc, also when family stay the dcs share and this would be far easier.

OP posts:
TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 30/09/2011 00:23

If you think it's worth it to you then you should do it.

The people in your family who think it's over-indulgent and ridiculous aren't living there are they? So do what works best for the people who are.

Mspontipine · 30/09/2011 00:25

I've considered this with ds too (8)
I've also considered giving up my double bed to make more room.
It's becoming clearer and clearer that noone wants to share mine with me :(
Except for ds and we can squidge into a single Grin

lisad123 · 30/09/2011 00:26

She's nearly 3!! Are you serious? My 4 year old doesn't play in her room and my 8 year old still brings all her toys downstairs! If she has that many toys maybe consider donating them!
If you can fit a kingsize bed it, it's clearly not that small Hmm

LittleMissFlustered · 30/09/2011 00:28

I plan to have the small room in my three bed house next summer. Eldest currently has middle room and youngest the small room. Another is on the way, so at the six month point (ish) when the baby can be moved, I'll defect with my bed to the small room and my son and his junk precious things/toys will move in with the baby in the big one. Kids play in their rooms. I sleep and sometimes read. Just need a bed and a light for that:)

So you're not being unreasonable in my eyes. If you're not bothered about the space, go for it.

I'd lose the pony thing though. They're evil looking things!

nodrog · 30/09/2011 00:28

I think it is a good idea, go for it.
You could also put both your children into the big bedroom, you and your dp could have the middle one and then you have a bedroom as a toy room!

cjbartlett · 30/09/2011 00:29

My 5&7 yr olds would rather play downstairs
I hate houses where you can see no sign of the children living in them

squeakytoy · 30/09/2011 00:33

Maybe it is just me, but the parents bedroom should be the one room in the house where the adults have total and utter peace... it is their sanctuary. Children not allowed unless they are ill....

That is how my parents brought me up, and how we brought our kids up...

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/09/2011 00:34

I hate the pony it scares the bejesus out of me but a friend gave it to her, how can I refuse when she loves the horrible thing so so much and its something I'd never consider parting with cash for if we could afford it.

Ofc they play downstairs, we have a bloody great toy table with happy land/trains etc all over, but she now likes to set her dollys up and so on and I have a lock on the outside of the bathroom trust her to behave up there whilst I cook etc, its not that she can only play in there at all. And she doesn't have a lot of toys just a few large pieces she has inherited.

Peppa pig until 18, that could work! Haha, no she will get her small room back when she's old enough for a bed with desk etc underneath/futon etc

OP posts:
Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/09/2011 00:36

Cj we know they're here alright see pp about bloody toy table, they have stuff downstairs but I just haven't the space for all of it neatly, I love seeing there stuff around

OP posts:
Mspontipine · 30/09/2011 00:43

Hi sleepers have rails round - ds had one of these since 3 These

MamaMimi · 30/09/2011 00:44

The house is your family space use it in whatever way suits you best as a family, there shouldn't be any hard and fast rules as to how rooms are used except that you do what works for you.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 30/09/2011 00:49

Oh I really like that one mrspontipine.. She fell out of my sisters recently, higher than the one linked so I'm a touch anxious (my sister is 6 before you all imagine an adult in one) and also switching rooms is free.

Think I may stick my bed in there and see how it looks, I don't want to be crammed in, if it all looks neat and tidy well go ahead if not we'll save and get a bed similar to the one linked.

OP posts:
flyingspaghettimonster · 30/09/2011 02:15

We gave the kids the master room in our condo - they were almost the same size, but we figure since we don't play and have a heap of toys it was more use to them. Plus the bathroom is attached to their room and since they don't like showers, it made more sense to switch over and we'd take the smaller one with the shower room. If it doesn't bother you and your husband, bollocks to everyone else.

Morloth · 30/09/2011 02:53

I don't know. I concede that it makes the most sense space wise maybe. But it just feels like lowering yourself in the pecking order.

We considered the same idea in the move to our new house. We thought we might put the boys in the master with their bunks and use that as a playroom as well, freeing up a spare room downstairs to use as a guest room.

But it just felt wrong for some reason. I didn't want to even though it probably made more sense.

I don't know if YABU or not, but it seems weird to have two adults squished together and a 3 year old with excess space.

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 30/09/2011 03:06

I would definitely give her the biggest room. For me and DH our bedroom is purely functional and we don't have as many toys, so it just makes sense.

A lot of shrews about today Smile

nooka · 30/09/2011 03:12

We've done this in the past. As we only sleep in our room it wasn't much of a sacrifice. I don't recall the children getting any ideas above their station as it were.

SaffronCake · 30/09/2011 05:12

This is another vote for bunking the kids in together and using the little room as a spare, a store or a playroom. I'm not sure children really need their own bedrooms or that it really does them so much good. I think there's much value in sharing.

My house is barely adequate for my family so we have a toy limit. The lid of the (1 meter cubed- ish) toy box they are allowed each must shut. If it does not then toys need to be sorted out for selling or donating. It might sound hard faced but they value the toys they do have and those toys change regularly as new ones arrive. The kids sort out their own choices to get rid of. Exceptions are made for things that clearly wont go in the toybox, like the ride on toys, or books (which have a spacious book case), garden toys live in the garden/shed.

People's first reactions to the toy limit are usually mildly unfavourable but all my friends and family have been won over since I started. There is no point owning things you haven't got room to play with. My children now have room to love their toys and don't miss the rest, they spent 90% of the playtime with 10% of the toys anyway.

Sorry I'm rambling... Kids don't need a home Toys R Us or a private world. They do need to play together and to have space to do it in. Cull the toys and get them sharing a room.

lifechanger · 30/09/2011 05:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 30/09/2011 05:55

Totally disagree with Saffroncake - I would always make it a priority to give my DC their own room. Different strokes, and all that.

Bubbaluv · 30/09/2011 06:12

I would have my two boys sharing a room even if we had 5 spare bedrooms. Not sure it works so well for a boy and agirl though - purely from an aesthetic pov.

twilight3 · 30/09/2011 06:15

I think it's a brilliant idea. You only need a room to sleep in and fit your clothes, but for a child and later teenager is their personal space, very important IMO.

At the end of the day it sounds like everyone in your family is happy with it, just get on with it and stop agonising. I always made my children's comfort in the house a priority over mine, but that's just a personal choice.

Have fun decorating

Flamingredhead · 30/09/2011 06:24

Do it I'm about to fo the same when we move 2 d. In each double room and me in the box .It works for our family

Bubbaluv · 30/09/2011 06:33

Where do you hang your clothes that need hanging?

bonkers20 · 30/09/2011 06:40

If it's what you want to do then go for it.
What you've written doesn't sound indulgent, but maybe it's the way you've been telling people about it.

At nearly 3 though you DD does sound rather pampered with all her massive toys. If you have a small house you have to tell people not to buy large toys, not just accept them and then have to rearrange your house to accomodate them.

We have a 2 bed house and 4 people. squeaky how I would love for our bedroom to be a place of peace but our 2.5 year old is still in there with us. He has NO place for his toys apart from in the lounge. We have to be ruthless about what we keep. If someone buys him something massive (which generally they don't because we've lived here for a very long time) we have to ask them to keep it at their own house.

Your small room sounds about the same size as my DS1's. He has a high sleeper, which has a bookcase, chair and very narrow tall chest of drawers (for stuff) underneath. Then he has a chest of drawers and a desk in the rest of the room. He uses the slats of the high sleeper to hang clothes on.

Also, do you really think a 3 year old will be thrilled with having a new bedroom? I don't think my nearly 3 year old would get it - he'd rather have a new tractor to play with.

fatlazymummy · 30/09/2011 07:38

I don't understand how a 2 year old has so many toys and clothes that she needs a double bedroom with fitted wardrobes. I bought a divan with storage in the base and that is where their toys went. Their clothes easily fitted into half a wardrobe/chest of drawers.
Still it's your family and your decision.