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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think IPOAT gels will never marry well if they continue to be so fast?

999 replies

CaptainHornblower · 28/09/2011 18:15

OP posts:
Hullygully · 03/10/2011 16:43

How is The Situation, Fids?

Fiderer · 03/10/2011 17:16

Have seen him once since I reported him, he called me at work and was livid, threatened to bankrupt me, have the children taken away. Has been on holiday since with his gf, back on the 10th when we're supposed to have the 2nd mediation session.
So I have 1 more week and I am trying very hard to be strong and organised and bright but I am flagging. Not because of him, he's an arse and I am angry and more than capable of countering his shite threats.

I worry about the children. Dd bursts into tears at the mention of that evening and I can't just leave it, I need to help her to deal with it. Fid1 (Mr Cool, aged 14) talked about it briefly as AH asked him to go and live with him (after I reported him) and Fid1 cried yesterday and hugged me and told me that he loved me.

Fid2 wanted to change his name to mine, AH won't allow it. I've arranged with the school that he can call himself Master Fid on books, tests, register etc. although without consent it'll have to be his other name on reports.

I am very angry with myself because I want to be and have to be strong to deal with all of this but still can't turn off the thoughts, flashbacks in my head from TOO. No matter how much I tell myself what an arse he was, I run things over and over and it still bloody hurts.

Well, wan smile, you did ask.

Hullygully · 03/10/2011 17:21

Oh Fids.

As long as you keep being open with, and talking to the the dc, they will be fine, honest.

The rest of it, the running over and over, will gradually cease, but it's still v recent, it's not surprising.

Could you get away just for a couple of days? What about a mobile home on a campsite? Then there's loads to do for kids, swimming pool, bikes, other children? Or is that beyond budget?

Fiderer · 03/10/2011 17:44

Problem is we live in a gorgeous rural spot where bike rides, pool etc are what they're used to. They'd really enjoy a bit of city life even for 2 days, shopping, bright lights, cinema, dinner out - the opposite of their village lives. But it's autumn and half-term (traditional get away for everyone).
Haven't given up hope. Think I'll call hotels/guest houses direct as they can't all be full.
Thanks Hully.

Hullygully · 03/10/2011 18:58

Good plan! Don't you have Expedia? Or Last Minute? You must have...

Fiderer · 03/10/2011 19:12

I have the local forrin versions. Shall carry on looking, we have till the 17th (oddly 2 weeks HT now and then none for the rest of the school year)

Hullygully · 04/10/2011 09:16

Do it do it. It will be really good for all of you to have a change of scene and some city life. Good for perspective.

minimammoth · 04/10/2011 09:18

It sounds as if you are doing well with all the little Fids. Keep talking it's healthier. In my experience they will take a while, I left my first h 20 years ago and only last week had a BIG talk with dd1 we were both in tears but felt better after. Hope you managed to get away. You deserve it.

CheerfulYank · 05/10/2011 12:57
DonaUmamiPeron · 05/10/2011 15:18

How's things Fids? Any sign of a City Break on the horizon?

Cheerful, I shall be in Chicago in a few weeks. If you fancy meeting me by the baggage carousel at O'Hare, I'll probably have a few minutes for a coffee before my connecting flight...

Anyway:

I snuck into ye olde rustic family chapel, whilst DonDiego was supervising the training of new gauchos, and though the Padre intercepted me before I could reach the vestibule, I could hear some unusual sounds coming from the crypt.

Fiderer · 05/10/2011 16:27
Fiderer · 05/10/2011 18:12
DonaUmamiPeron · 05/10/2011 18:20

Oh Fiddsy Sad

Am poor at advice.

HULLY! PAG! MIMI!

(Gib was always v.good at advice, but has Buggered Off after Hully kept calling her Beri).

Fiderer · 05/10/2011 18:31

Manly back slaps help, Umami. I think I need to turn the miserable thoughts in my head off and enjoy the respite from him not being here more. And prepare myself for the next mediation session, if there is one. I don't believe he would bankrupt himself, that it's just a threat to frighten me. But I am unsure and I don't want him to know that.

Hullygully · 05/10/2011 19:10

Two words Fids Two golden words

kill him

DonaUmamiPeron · 05/10/2011 19:13

See. I said Hully was good with the advice.

CheerfulYank · 05/10/2011 19:16

She is. And because I love her so I have baked this just for her.

:o

Hullygully · 05/10/2011 20:48

AAAAagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

No no no no

DonaUmamiPeron · 05/10/2011 20:51

Don't you like the s'm'o'r'es Hully?

Hullygully · 06/10/2011 09:46

You are heading out there at the right time of year, dear Widow. May I just say, a polite refusal rarely offends.

minimammoth · 06/10/2011 10:08

I have just checked out the crypt, there is in preparation, a large vat of Malmsey waiting for Fids AH, he might overbalance.
Am envious of widow's trip. Poor old machine has not managed betty crocker link, it may be in its death throws, must back up.
We may drag our portmanteaus to the north cornish coast end of Oct. but 'tis a long way from Beunos Ares (can't bloody spell it) Is the teleporter working?

Fiderer · 06/10/2011 11:17

Golden words of advice indeed. I shall keep them in my head for the next encounter. "Hully says 'Kill him'" will be as an anchor of rationality.

Good to hear there's a vat ready, although I need a second for TOO. Malmsey is far too good for them, vinegar would suffice.

No luck yet on the City Break. Still, all 3 are enjoying lazing around. Fid1 is a lot calmer since we talked on Sunday and being very nice to Fid2. All of them have friends over every day or are out and about. MissFid is now upstairs with a friend playing with the Barbies AH threw out (and Fid2 and I rescued). She didn't hide that when I went in, said nothing but showed me how she'd brushed Rapunzel's hair, AH threw that one in the bin although MissFid had wanted her and finally got her for her birthday 5 weeks before. Arse.

In the meantime ladies, are we setting sail for Albion or is there time for one last adventure in Buenos Aires? I need a diversion. We could always hire a new crew for adventures.

Ours look a bit jaded.

minimammoth · 06/10/2011 17:37

Clearly something is afoot in the crypt, Widow has heard rustlings.
I would like to do a lttle more stamping, wrist twirling, buttock clenching and smouldering in the tango class. Even Rochester's leg is getting the hang of it.

Fiderer · 06/10/2011 18:15

Mistress Mini, the soft air has made your hair all wavy. How supple you are!

I was late for the Tango class today as I bumped into a local Padre on my way. He has offered me some private scripture lessons with his brothers They are rather suitable for marriage, Misses Honey and Mini and Cheerful, take note.

sybilvimes · 06/10/2011 18:22

I think we should all attend one last fiesta before we leave Buenos Aires. The gels and I have been practising and I think we would appreciate the opportunity to display this new found skill. Even Hully has been practising in secret so I hear...

(Glad to hear you and the young Fids are managing to enjoy the week at least a little Fids. He is an Arse)