to want to meet some fellow scruffs?

[IntergalacticHussy]

Maybe I'm just having a bad day, but lately i've started to feel like i'm the only person in the world who doesn't look like they've just stepped out of a catalogue

I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, if it's what you want, but didn't there used to be other ways of looking?

I was going to this meetup, (i'm new round here) organised by the Other Place, and i'm afraid I just bottled it. Probably says more about my judgypants than anything else, but my heart sank when I saw everyone else turning up, perfectly groomed in brand-new looking clothes, immaculate and pushing buggies that looked like they'd been purchased yesterday. I just suddenly felt like i'd spend the whole time feeling apologetic and uncomfortable so i sort of skulked away feeling crap.

It's not that i look terrible (i hope), i just don't mind if my jeans are a bit faded, or i'm wearing a top I bought two years ago, or if dd's going around in a pushchair that's seen better days. I quite like having things with a bit of history to them; second hand stuff/ the odd vintage thing. I avoid ironing if i possibly can and think dd2 looks perfectly ok in dd1's slightly worn hand-me-downs, unless we're off to a wedding or something.

And please dont' think i'm just having a go at other mothers, it's bloody everyone; all dads under 45 seem to dress the same way, all teenagers have the same floppy, assymetric haircut... when i were a lass we had actual subcultures; grungers, skater-punks, indie-kids, goths, trendies...

i know it's ironic to be a non-conformist wishing she knew some other non-conformists, but i can't help wondering if anyone else feels the same?

I have two modes - scruffy and very smart. Most of the time I am in jeans, trainers, sweatshirts. But I do like dressing up very occassionally for a wedding or something. It's the "smart casual" (I hate that phrase) I can't do - evenings out, school functions etc, it just seems such a lot of effort.....

No no NO... you've got it all wrong. Over-focusing on 'clean', when what you want is to look groomed.

There is a happy medium... you will still smell fine, honest.

1. Wash hair every 3-4 days and dry it properly so it lasts.

2. Iron clothes but wear them twice - once for 'good' when you go out and then again for a day at home.

3. shower every day and throw on a bit of tinted moisturiser on your face after the shower.

There

you are no longer scruffy

Tis no good. Inside I am Audrey Hepburn, or possibly Grace kelly, but on the outside I am permanantly on the edge of scruffy - I try and start out smart, but my hair falls out of it's clips, I catch clothes on doorhandles or floor level drawers at work, I rip holes in things by merely looking at them! I just can't do it. So now it's nice but old dresses with my old cardy and my Doc Martens and a big slick of red lippy to 'finish'. At least I feel comfortable, like an old well loved shoe...

I bet you all look scruffy-chic.

I've made a decision to try and make more effort, bought new jeans today but they already have baby piss and sick on. Also had my home-cut-hair cut by a professional, my DH couldn't tell the difference. Hey ho.

I always smile inside at people like the ones OP describes, funnily enough I have absolutely no desire to look like them at all. I do admire people that look effortlessly chic, like it took them 5 mins, you don't see many like that, like Alexa Chung style or the La Redoute catalogue models. I really don't like the 'done' look.

What the blazes are those flowers??

I am dreadful scruff I'm afraid and not in a proud way.

I am a 100% scruff. When we go to weddings etc, I look like a scruffy person who has tried to get dressed up.

I live in boyfriend cut jeans and black t-shirts and flip flops. I raraely wear make up and when i do it's just a bit of primer and mascara. I'm not good looking, I just know the more slap i put on or start introducing heels, the more like a mediocre looking person trying too hard I look like, and then I look silly, so I stick with what I find comfortable! I've used the same hairdresser for years and years and he is fab, he knows the only time my hair gets blow dried is when I go for it cutting and the brief is always 'Do a good cut because it's the cut that has to work, it won't get styled!'. But, invest for the future, eye cream and moisturiser is essential, good skin always leaves me cheery!

I don't think looking scruffy is the issue, it's how comfortable and consequently confident you are. I know I would never have the time, patience or precision to look like one of the groomed mummies so I don't bother wasting my time trying. Plus, i don't want my dd thinking when she grows up she has to put make up on and wear heels because that's what she's seen me do. But hey ho, schol will probably undo all my good work when peer pressure or herd influence starts...

Bigbadbarry- you got it in one there!

I often think that I missed out on the part where I should have learnt to give a shit do hair and make up and understand clothes, due to my grungeness.

My darling sister tries so hard to groom me and make me care, but I really don't. I'm clean, my clothes are clean and even ironed if necessary but I only wear jeans, combats,t shirts and hoodies. She buys me scarves and other such shite but I feel such a nob if I attempt to wear them.

Make up makes my face feel fat, all coated and thick. Urgh!

We did spend an evening at a posh do earlier in the year. Ds's friends still talk about how well I scrubbed up although it did take my dsis clothes and my (groomed) friend to do ny hair and make up! And I still had nothing on the other women there, I just can't carry it off!

I like it here, can I stay?

Save ironing...just straigten item with a firm flat hand..repeat a couple of times...fold...then firm flat hand again

Dh's friends still talk about my well groomed night.

I'd worry if a load of 15 yo boys were discussing it

Nature- if only it were that easy.
You so obviousl don't have scruff capabilities

I am a scruff, can i join the club? At home I wear tracksuit bottoms or jeans, t shirts vests and hoodies. I am always clean though.

I do have some nice items in my wardrobe but can't put together an outfit for love nor money, I always look as if a toddler has dressed me.

I tie my hair back in a ponytail everyday, and cannot get away with make up as I don't like the way it feels.

I guess my look is mad, curly haired can't be bothered, even if i have spent half an hour getting ready.

I'm a scruffty too and love it. I wear my clothes and shoes till they fall apart or get holes. Most of my casual wear is from charity shops. If it needs ironing, I don't buy it.

Why pay good money to wear the uniform of a club that so patently announces 'I am not only materialist but can't think for myself and am also shallow and stupid? '

Spend the money you save on books instead, or theatre tickets, or doing things you REALLY enjoy - you'll probably find that doesn't involve posh frocks, labels, or other accoutrements.

'Tis very liberating.

Great for walking away from that gathering - it sounds too hideous for words.

Hello fellow scruffies

So pleased to hear I'm not alone.

My DD 9, has recently started too offer to select my clothes for me in the morning because 'I dress like a man'. She chooses a dress and heels and I have to point out to her I've not shaved my legs in a week and its freezing outside.

oops! what happened?

Sigh. I try, really I do!

I do wear a bit of makeup as I'm very pale and have strange-colored eyes, and it all blends together if I don't. But an hour or so later I've got eyeliner under my eyes (no matter what kind I use), spots front and center again...my face repels makeup, I swear.

And I hate belts and I can't abide tight pants (a bit too muffin-toppy) so I'm always hitching them up in what I'm sure is a desperately unattractive way. And walking the hems into the ground because I don't like short pants either.

Ex-grunger here too. Those were the days: baggy Robert Smith jumpers, a man's tweed jacket or huge fake fur coat from a charity shop and old Levi's that had been in the laundrette lost & found. I tried going goth but it was far too high maintenance so only did it at the weekends for going out - used to start getting ready when Blind Date was on for getting to the club at midnight so it only took me about 5 hrs!

Here it was all holey kneed jeans, Nirvana T-shirts (baggy) and men's plaid flannel shirts (baggier).

I get fashion, I really do. I can tell when things go together, etc, but when it comes to putting it on my own body there's just a breakdown of translation somewhere.

Scruffy McScruff signing in.

And you know what, I like it the way I am, I don't want tips on descruffing, I know what I 'should' do if I wanted o be less scruffy, but I'm not bothered. I would rather have the extra 10/20/30/45 minutes sleep, frankly.

oh yes - would happily live in holey jeans, woolly socks, hiking boots, merino tshirts, fleeces, old woolly jumpers.

For work i have to wear suits and it just doesn't work: people always want to see my boss because clearly I am still a medical student. Even though i am now developing huge frown/squint wrinkles so I look way too old for my (badly cut, thin, long) hair. Suits never fit, shirts look like rags and get huge sweat marks in minutes, shoes are always scruffy. I look far better in surgical scrubs.

I would honestly like to look like Kate Middleton or Mary of Denmark, but i just look like a bloke in drag when I dress up or put makeup or jewellery on.

Am another one with glamourous sister with perfect thick lustrous hair who would never be seen in anything less than size 8 Gant or Ralph Lauren or Brora.

(whispers) how do people stop having massive sweat marks and sweaty-smelling shirts? I wash mine on hot straight after wearing them, I wear deodorant, I don't have addison's disease... I just look like i have terrible personal hygiene and all my good shirts stink of a mix of sweat and laundry soap!

I am a slightly reluctant scruff.
I'm the same as Ormirian - I put make up on, straighten my hair, go to work looking vaguely presentable. By the end of the day my inner scruff had re-emerged
I hate wearing heels so weddings etc are a bit of a trauma.
We're going to a really naaaaice wedding next year (good friend's so can't wait ) but I want to look fab

4c4good....now the truth comes out.

You lot are not scruffy, no it is a statement to prove to the world you are not "materialistic", "shallow" and "stupid" (your words!!!).

So dressing scruffily now means you are too important, too deep and too clever to bother

naaaah, you are just a bit lazy!

I'm amazed how many people can get away with being scruffy aat work, it would have bbeen mega frowned on where I've worked!

im a scruff and pround of it. (i am a man so its easier for me).
I would rather spend all my time getting my LO ready and looking nice in good clothes and me looking like i have just crawled out of bed in yesterdays jeans and Tshirt.
its all about prioritys ;)

WEll, I'm off to meet a fellow scruffbag today for coffee - wearing as stripey (eye achingly so) shirt and jeans. If one of my DBros' GFs were to put it on they (one in particular) would look lovely, I just look scruffy But I don't actually mind as that is just what I look like.