to want to meet some fellow scruffs?

[IntergalacticHussy]

Maybe I'm just having a bad day, but lately i've started to feel like i'm the only person in the world who doesn't look like they've just stepped out of a catalogue

I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, if it's what you want, but didn't there used to be other ways of looking?

I was going to this meetup, (i'm new round here) organised by the Other Place, and i'm afraid I just bottled it. Probably says more about my judgypants than anything else, but my heart sank when I saw everyone else turning up, perfectly groomed in brand-new looking clothes, immaculate and pushing buggies that looked like they'd been purchased yesterday. I just suddenly felt like i'd spend the whole time feeling apologetic and uncomfortable so i sort of skulked away feeling crap.

It's not that i look terrible (i hope), i just don't mind if my jeans are a bit faded, or i'm wearing a top I bought two years ago, or if dd's going around in a pushchair that's seen better days. I quite like having things with a bit of history to them; second hand stuff/ the odd vintage thing. I avoid ironing if i possibly can and think dd2 looks perfectly ok in dd1's slightly worn hand-me-downs, unless we're off to a wedding or something.

And please dont' think i'm just having a go at other mothers, it's bloody everyone; all dads under 45 seem to dress the same way, all teenagers have the same floppy, assymetric haircut... when i were a lass we had actual subcultures; grungers, skater-punks, indie-kids, goths, trendies...

i know it's ironic to be a non-conformist wishing she knew some other non-conformists, but i can't help wondering if anyone else feels the same?

Another scruff checking in.

My idea of really smart is clean jeans and if its really posh, new tshirt.

I don't see it as a bad thing. There are Far too many decorative people around IMHO.

I also blame the grunge years!

I so remember when getting ready for a big party meant finding the perfect flannel shirt and wondering if one could get away with wearing clear mascara

Scruff here too. I hate clothes shopping so I will wear my clothes into the ground so I don't have to go. If I can't see something i like within five minutes of being in the shop I get antsy and have to leave-usually for a bookshop which is where most of my money goes anyway.

I am currently wearing a cheap skirt I bought to wear to a wedding when I was six weeks postnatal- about 6 years ago. I bought five of the same kind of top from Sainsburys in two colours and I wear one most days. Last time I wore makeup was my wedding day 7 years ago, my stepmother applied it for me and it was the bare minimum. Hair brushed once a day. I buy one pair of walking sandals in the spring and wear them until the winter. Only wear closed in shoes when its risking frostbite not too.

There are so many other things I would rather do with my time and so many other things I would rather spend the money on.

oh my god!!!!

a thread of mine made it to 'discussions of the day!!!'

woo hoo!!

scruffs! scruffs! scruffs!

BakeliteBelle - I agree with the H&M recommendation - I still look scruffy intheir stuff but it's inexpensive and I find lasts.
I'm the reverse of thefirstMrsDeVere - I find being weell dressed really difficult. I feel like a child who has raided her mum's clothes and thta someone will come along and expose me as a fraud who is merely pretending to be grown up.
I used to frequent the nearest metal/grunge/punk pub and I don't think my fashion sense has really ever changed. I'm just described as a hippie these days rather than a grunger

Scruff bag here too.

I know I'm scruffy, because whenever I make an effort the other mums at school comment on how nice I look/ask if I'm going for an interview. That said, I don't feel as out of place here (rather posh town in North of England) as I thought I would - I even have some really good friends who wear make-up and beautiful accessories.

However, my artistically patched jeans have caused several people to ask if I'm showing my knickers (perhaps I should consign them to gardening duty), my trusty Gap jeans that I got second-hand about 15 years ago have finally gone at the knees (sob) and I have been known to turn up at school with toothpaste on my face (at least it shows that I brush my teeth, even if I don't remember to look in a mirror).

Finally, I managed to rip a massive hole in the only expensive (aka non-supermarket) jumper I have bought in the last few years. I darned it, only to catch it in almost the same place again.

Yep add this scruff to the list as well

I don't give a hoot mostly. I quite admire those that can "do" the layered look, I just can't, for the life of me, get it right.

I know how I would like it to look, a floaty shortish dress, possibly paisley-esque, a thin cardigan affair, leggings, a quirky hat at a jaunty angle and boots that are just the right type yes? So, I buy all the individual pieces, put it all together and ta-daaa! I look like a sack of shit

Another scruff signing in!

My kind of scruffy is a long straight jersey skirt (me and trousers don't get on), a long top and boots. My mum once commented that I looked as if there was a bit missing in the middle as I am very short!
Can scrub up if I need to but usually manage to add a bit of 'me' to the poshest outfit! Wore boots under my wedding dress and socks, not tights! Mum was scandalised! OH was delighted!
I am currently plucking up the courage to cut my own hair.... 'tis long, straight and grey and bum length, it just needs a trim!

It's funny how so many of us are blaming the grunge years - as i walked away from The Other Place meetup, a song started swirling around my scruffy head. A song I hadn't heard since about 1995

'When I went to school in Olympia
Everyone's the same

We look the same, we talk the same
Even fuck the same...'

So... I think we can agree it's all Courtney Love's fault

I am so up for a Scruffsnet meetup. I'm in Alan Partridge country, if anyone else is nearby?

I'm nearish you. Further north nearer the coast

Ah Haaa!

No.

Never, cutting your own hair is really okay.

The good thing about hair is that it always grows back again, ... :o

TBH I only do it because I'm too lazy busy to get myself to a salon.

Sign me up for Scruffsnet! I do try very hard but unless I keep my hair very short and slick, it's game over. My poor DD is only 3 yo but has inherited this from me.

And I realised earlier that both my top and trousers today have visible small holes in them. I've no idea how the holes got there!

I've also been leaving the house without checking my clothes for signs of sick from newborn DS.

And yet I own some lovely clothes and shoes, some quite expensive.

I have a friend who can sling on any old tat from Primark and Matalan and she always looks amazing.

Ha - Hippee - currently divorcing and if I look nice at school gate other mums say 'OOh are you going/been to court?'

Inmysparetime - No, I meant friend of friend thinks I need a Gok style makeover before I can find myself a boyfriend!

I went to a meeting today (and am still) wearing:

A tee shirt - no idea where it came from or who it belongs to
Unironed linen trousers that I found in a pile in the spare room - didn't remember having them, but thought I'd better look as I only had jeans otherwise (not good for meeting)
A sleep bra (BFing, no clean normal bras)
Old shoes

At yesterday's meeting, due to the great washing machine disaster of 2011, I wore a shirt that I bought in 1997 (I remember the day clearly).

Who cares?

Oh we are so scruffy! me, DH and DS1 and as for the dog he isthe scruffiest thing that was ever born.

DD, DS2 and our glamour cat won't be seen out with us.

Intergalactic I love that song!

Make me real? FUCK! YOU!

baby doll dresses and docs, now that was a look

you could go out for pizza and beer and who cares if your belly sticks out

It is completely the fault of the grunge years - I think there is a small window where you learn to care apply makeup so you don't look like a clown and walk in heels, and those of us who were in that formative stage when you could go on a Big Night Out in stinking jeans, a huge band t-shirt and one of those big checked shirts (and where stilettoes would have you laughed from the bar), missed our moment. (I also think there's a bit of intellectual snobbery - too much time in student unions learning that it was not cool to care too much).

Shakey - I have a friend who pulls off just the look you describe, damn her!

I'm a total scruff. I blame my dogs and my job (am a vet)- everything I wear is geared towards walking round muddy parks and getting slobbered and shed upon. I have a strange condition where I baulk at spending money on things-to-get-manky. happily, as I wear my "dressed up" clothes once in a blue moon, they last for years (and consequently are no doubt years out of date , but I have no clue what is "on trend", as my well-dressed friend would say, and no time or inclination to find out!)

P.S. Snoop

My dad and I were once in the auction bit of "Homes under the Hammer" - we looked like a pair of hillbillies, down in our pick-up truck - the kind that people suspect have a million under the bed (sadly not). I have never seen anything so scruffy (but then, as I said, the mirror is not used anywhere near enough).

Im such a scruff now. Pre DD I wasn't exactly constantly airbrushed but made the effort. I have now almost forgot how to do my make-up. Now I'm in jeans with a tear on the waistband, pumps and a top that i have had for about two years that would have been in the bin a long time ago pre scruffdom. Im full time at uni and see all the girls in the trendy clothes with straightened hair and their make-up on and feel really dowdy and scruffy. I do occasionally make the effort though and rather enjoy the attention because people have got used to me looking like this.