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Original poster

to wonder if I have missed a new parenting rule........don't watch your small child

136 replies

Sevenfold · 27/09/2011 10:58

??
yesterday in the supermarket. small toddlers walking around, banging into trolleys and nearly getting hurt.... parent not looking.

driving, children crossing road with parent, parent marching across, whilst child dawdles way behind, parent not looking or holding very small child's hand(yes the green man was showing, but as we all know people do jump lights, especially push bikes)

been noticing this a lot of late, is it a new parenting thing?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 28/09/2011 19:50

butterfly what about the nice middle ground where you supervise them making sure they are safe (and not being to much of a nuisance to others) but without guiding there every move.

addressbook · 28/09/2011 19:55

If they wouldn't hold my hand, they went in the buggy, if they arched their backs and screamed it was tough, if they tried to climb out, I tightened the straps.

They really do give up when they know there is no chance of getting their way

Good grief you sound horrendous Hmm

Oblomov · 28/09/2011 20:20

Horrendous ? why ?

Sirzy · 28/09/2011 20:25

I thought that. I must be a horrendous parent to!

What would you do in the situation of a young child refusing to hold a hand then?

thefirstMrsDeVere · 28/09/2011 20:27

Horrendous? stoppit.

Sensible. Caring. Safe.

addressbook · 28/09/2011 20:33

I just hate these judgey, judgey pat myself on the back for being so perfect threads

Really hate them

When I am a perfect parent always, I will start my own thread. Might be a long time

thefirstMrsDeVere · 28/09/2011 20:38

But you just called someone a horredous parent.

I would say that is pretty high up on the judgometer Confused

Who thinks they are perfect?

this thread seems more about discussing how people are different in their parenting.

Some posters think that 'i dont like children running amok' is the same as 'I let my child walk around the shops'.

Which it clearly isnt.

StarlightMcKenzie · 28/09/2011 20:39

My just turned 3yr old dd is always getting people talking to her and asking where her mummy is, especially in crowded places.

Her mummy is usually somewhere behind with eagle eyes completely focussed on her whilst holding tightly the hand of her 5yr old brother with ASD.

I used to say for the benefit of strangers 'okay dd, I told you, don't run off/stay close etc.' but quite honestly can't be bothered now. When they say 'oh, phew, is she yours I thought she was lost?' I simply reply 'yes thanks' with a smile.

It's nice that they look out for her. But I don't expect them to. That is up to them. I'm sorry if I cause them concern but then my life is pretty concerning and that is quite frankly the least of my worries.

youarekidding · 28/09/2011 20:51

thefirstMrsDeVere Wed 28-Sep-11 18:38:40
I have used an extending dog lead for one of my DCs.

Now that was fun. Fending off the looks of horror in a London Borough well known for its wishy washy liberal parental tendencies

Grin I joked about doing that with DS. I think I was 1 heart attack away from doing it. Grin

^^ I admitted flipping DS from his buggy by accident once too.

YY about parks, let them do it themselves. I was as far as to neglect DS so much saying to DS if he could go on anything as long as he could do it alone. That way he never did anything too big for him iyswim? but he learnt PDQ to climb to the top of the biggest frame and wasn't afraid to attempt anything.

SurprisEs · 28/09/2011 20:59

I have my eyes on DD 2.2 ALL the time. She's learnt to come out of her pushchair, undo her harness (reins), undo safety gates and the list goes on. So very often int he supermarket she almost gets hit by a trolley. Normally she will hold my hand, walk close to me etc but she is a toddler and she is inquisitive an unfortunately for me she is very quick and unpredictable so sometimes it looks as though I don't care, or don't discipline her.
Parents with calm, easy going children can stick their judgemental selves somewhere and let me get on with teaching my very active and inquisitive child te good ways and to hope for the best. So far no harm done.

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld · 28/09/2011 23:02

I was never an helicopter parent, far from it. In fact I was on the lax side of lax Grin

We used to live in a house that was next to the park gates. The park was a large field, used by dog walkers, and there was a fenced off children's play area in the middle. I'd let my DC go and play on it by themselves, checking on them when I remembered too. When I took them to other parks I'd sit on a bench and let them play.

Once, when I was still with my ex, we went for a pub meal and then let the DC play on the pub play area for a bit. DD, who was 2 at the time, climbed up a cargo net which went up to a walkway, about 7ft above the ground, which was woodchips. She misjudged the top bit and dangled from the walkway for a few seconds before dropping to the floor. She proceeded to pick herself up and ran off playing so I left her to it as I assumed she'd be crying/screaming if she'd hurt herself

However, these are different to walking alongside a busy road with your toddler about 15ft behind you while your eyes are glued to your mobile/you are speaking on your mobile. With some of them around here the child could be on the road and knocked over before they realised it.

Wrt the wrist strap. DS wore it until somewhere between 3-4yrs, possibly a bit longer, but he did/does have mild sn and severe speech problems.

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