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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder if I have missed a new parenting rule........don't watch your small child

136 replies

Sevenfold · 27/09/2011 10:58

??
yesterday in the supermarket. small toddlers walking around, banging into trolleys and nearly getting hurt.... parent not looking.

driving, children crossing road with parent, parent marching across, whilst child dawdles way behind, parent not looking or holding very small child's hand(yes the green man was showing, but as we all know people do jump lights, especially push bikes)

been noticing this a lot of late, is it a new parenting thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sevenfold · 27/09/2011 17:15

oh and I never mentioned scooters,
surely even if you have a child that refuses to hold hands/ go in buggy, you can still walk them across the road, rather than march off ahead. same with supermarkets, you can at least notice that they are getting nearly knocked over.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 27/09/2011 17:28

Reading this thread it is obvious ds is going to feel very hard done to as he grows up!

I can't believe how many parents are so openly relaxed about letting very young children run off in supermarkets and along roads!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/09/2011 17:48

Bootcamp - I did not call your child a brat, nor did I say other people were calling your child a brat - I said that your 'little rogue' MIGHT be someone else's badly-behaved brat. IE: the behaviour that you are tacitly condoning might look like bad behaviour to other people.

To be honest, if this child is giving you far more trouble than your other two, surely it is even more important that you start correcting their behaviour now, rather than letting it slide until they start school - by which time these bad behaviours could be well and truly ingrained, and will be far, far harder to deal with.

perplexedpirate · 27/09/2011 17:55

I've just been to the hospital and then the park with DS. In both places I ended up surrounded by other people's kids in the play areas as I was the only one not glued to a phone/tv/gazing into space and actually interacting with my child.
It pissed me off tbh as I was trying to have some time with MY DS, I'm not a sodding free play-worker that happens to be on hand to entertain the children of all-comers.

youarekidding · 27/09/2011 18:02

I hate seeing toddlers not strapped into buggies and then flipped out forwards because the mum is chatting to her friend and misjudged the kurb.

Oh no, that was me Blush

Sevenfold YANBU. The incident above taught me that you cannot for an instant take your eye off the ball, toddlers/ small children are unpredictable and you need to ensure they hand hold OR are strapped into a buggy. I'd made a rod for my own back by allowing DS to switched between the 2. Simple sticking to the 'rules' meant a few years weeks later he had got it.

DS tried to run off in the supermarket at 3yo and ran straight into someones trolly. He cried, I said well don't run off then, and the lady he'd hit told me not to be 'so cruel' Hmm I never worked that one out. From then on he got 1 warning and then it was in the trolly seat.

My point ^^ is although YANBU, it maybe that some parents may be new to this and are possibly struggling/ learning now to set the boundaries. It sometimes takes these incidents to make us tougher.

youarekidding · 27/09/2011 18:04

I will add in my defense I am not guilty of the scooter crime and DS had to hold my hand on the road - even when screaming.

tralalala · 27/09/2011 18:09

strap 'em in their buggies I say, bag of crisps to shut them up...that's the other extreme we get round here.

moonstorm · 27/09/2011 18:31

It's benign neglect, surely...??

moonstorm · 27/09/2011 18:32
ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld · 27/09/2011 19:02

FlumpsRule "House opposite me has lovely tiered front garden with no fence. Mums natter on corner and allow dcs to climb all over garden & roll down slope"

BettyCash "Flumps that's another issue entirely. No fence? On the front garden? Asking for it."

I disagree, with Betty that is. I would never have let my DC do that. It's rude and ignorant.

I actually don't mind kids walking about in the supermarket. Adults get in my way when I'm shopping, I'm sure I probably get in their way too, so it's just par for the course really. Mind you I rarely see kids when I'm shopping so maybe that's why Grin

lisad123 · 27/09/2011 19:03

Lol reminded of lady last week. Our kids were riding bikes from school and ahead of us was a mum with a toddler on a scooter. One of the boys was ringing his bell to get passed but they wouldn't move. As friend got to her house, mum started fing and blinding at friend that her son was rude and shouldn't ring his bell at her little boy. I just stood there Blush

learningtofly · 27/09/2011 19:17

Oh guilty as charged with regards to unruly supermarket toddler.

Eating food, causing chaos, pulling stuff off shelves, won't sit in the trolly seat, undoes the buckle and stands up etc. Total nightmare.

However that is precisely why internet shopping was invented. :)

Bootcamp · 27/09/2011 19:17

Again sdt where did I say she was more trouble than the other two at her age. I don't need parenting advice from a stranger. Jeez.

Bootcamp · 27/09/2011 19:25

Actually agree with loads of posts on here. I do not let my toddler run off, scoot off, run around supermarkets unless I am directly behind her. I always hold her hand or pick her up crossing the road.

Apart from sdt who was just rude, judgemental and giving advice not required I do think I will trying being a bit firmer with my toddler because it would make my life easier although she has never been in danger.

Bootcamp · 27/09/2011 19:26

Then again... Where the fun in that.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 27/09/2011 19:30

I dont see why my Dc cant walk around the supermarket tbh. They are little and get bored, Id rather they stroll about asking me about things they see than strapped in a trolley screaming. I couldnt give a buggery about it bothering other shoppers, other shoppers bother me, i no doubt bother them, par the course going to a supermarket imo and my money is worth as much as anyone elses. Most of my shopping is for my DC so in effect its them spending. There really are some miserable buggers out there.

Not bothering with a childs safety at any age for an easy life however is below scumful. Im happy for a screaming fit from them when crossing the road etc, not that I get one, they know theres no option.

Ripeberry · 27/09/2011 19:39

Saw it all today, a toddler standing up in her buggy, no strapped in. An accident waiting to happen and of course it will be someone else's fault Hmm

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/09/2011 19:44

Well, bootcamp - you posted about your youngest refusing to hold your hand, climbing out of her buggy, throwing herself on the floor and refusing to move, and then said that your other two children stopped being toddlers when they were no longer toddlers, and that you haven't had hell on earth with the other two, who are basically well behaved. Taking all that as a whole, it painted a picture for me of a child who behaves very differently to their older siblings. If that is not what you were saying, then I am sorry.

I don't think that any of the actual advice I offered was terribly offensive though - she's refusing to do things that are for her safety - holding your hand/staying in the buggy - and you are letting her get away with that, which isn't a good thing for her to learn - especially if you carry on that way until she is school age, because you don't want to break her fine spirit or upset her.

Sirzy · 27/09/2011 19:51

I dont have an issue with children WALKING around a supermarket when they are doing so with the parents. My issue is when they are allowed to run riot in the supermarket unsupervised.

mumblechum1 · 27/09/2011 19:55

Thank God Heeleys are out of fashion now. You used to see hordes of kids whizzing along on those things in supermarkets a few years ago.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 27/09/2011 19:57

ripe I have seen that loads recently.

I am a pretty laid back parent when it comes to bumps and scrapes but its so dangerous not to strap your DC in.

I hate that moment when the toddler falls into the road because the buggy bumps. I have seen that a lot over the years.

NormanTebbit · 27/09/2011 19:58

Country's going to hell...

NormanTebbit · 27/09/2011 20:02
Original poster
Sevenfold · 27/09/2011 21:20

weird to be called a miserable bugger, for not wanting a small child tobe hurt!!
I managed to not hit the child with my trolly, but if I had had a large full trolly I wouldn't have seen him, so nothing to do with me being "bothered". I wouldn't have been the one taking him to A &E

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 27/09/2011 21:28

I was at the swimming pool the other day, and noticed a small family group there - Mum, Dad, toddler and baby. Toddler was a non swimmer, wearing armbands.

Mum got out of the pool and went into the changing room with the baby (who was obviously getting cold). A couple of minutes later Dad got out of the swimming pool and climbed into the spa pool nearby - leaving the toddler bobbing around in the main pool unattended and completely out of his sight. I pulled my judgy pants RIGHT up to my ears, I tell you....

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