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AIBU?

AIBU to want to bang other mums heads together!!

127 replies

cabbagesoup · 24/09/2011 13:20

God I'm so annoyed I have that knotted feeling in my tummy right NOW!! what do you do when the class is invited to a party, bar YOUR child and one other..

Surely the rules are either the whole class / the boys / the girls or just 2 or 3 mates.

Not the whole class minus two!! I'm baffled.. But the best bit is I'm now getting the whispering "how are you getting there" "shall we share lifts" etc conversations that stop dead when I'm around!! I feel completly on guard at the moment like I don't know who's a "friend" anymore.. and totally baffled by why my DC isn't invited in the first place, he is mates with this kid and I get on well with the mum.

I did think maybe the invite was lost? but the whispering has confirmed this isn't the case.

Just feeling really hurt and upset and I know it's only a bleeding party but my DC is a bit miffed too.

Any one else been here?

OP posts:

Report

cabbagesoup · 25/09/2011 12:16

OK thanks to all the people posting

I just want to add something and now tell me if I'm OK to get upset - Not only is my boy the one not invited, ALL of the children going have just turned up at my neighbours (her daughter is going) we have just had the whole Class being loaded into a selection of 7 seaters OUTSIDE our window - My boy is very upset and is currently crying right now asking me what he's done wrong.. Now is that isn't cruel I don't know what is??

Not a hint of thought has gone into that at all, or if it has that's possibly to most nasty, thoughtless thing I think I've ever encountered.

I'm going to have to say something, I can't stew much longer, even a large glass of wine last night didn't stop me brewing!!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 25/09/2011 12:22

Your neighbour is a bitch then!

cabbagesoup · 25/09/2011 12:23

well lets you you got that right..

OP posts:

cabbagesoup · 25/09/2011 12:25

or even "lets say you got that right"... No love lost there.

OP posts:

CeliaFate · 25/09/2011 12:25

Cabbage, that's heartbreaking! How cruel of that mother. I don't give a stuff about "their party, their decision", it's bloody evil to do that to another child. I would make it known to the other mother - don't be angry, just say "X was sobbing yesterday watching the others get into the mini bus. Has he done something to upset Y and that's why he was excluded?"

SoupDragon · 25/09/2011 12:27

You absolutely need to confront the other mother. And your neighbour. After wine if necessary.

Proudnscary · 25/09/2011 12:33

It wouldn't bother me - it's like weddings, you have maximum numbers so you have to cut somewhere.

cabbagesoup · 25/09/2011 12:33

I actually sent a text yesterday to the other mum, after advice and my husband saying that was just rude - I actually just asked her to aploigise for the embarrasing behivour and for the whispering and for making a very akward moment - she called and said sorry and that he wasn't invited as they had been told to choose 3 friend each. So yesterday I was OK with that a bit.

BUT that was a big fat lie as 12 children have just turned up outside my house..

OP posts:

Proudnscary · 25/09/2011 12:34

Oh for god's sake don't say anything! They will think you're a nutter.
Distract your ds with something really fun, paint on a smile and calm down.
This really isn't the end of the world.

cabbagesoup · 25/09/2011 12:35

Proudnscary -I do understand the cutting somewhere - but you wouldn't then load up the wedding guests in front of the people you didn't invite?? all giggling and mums all chortling?? Would you?

OP posts:

Proudnscary · 25/09/2011 12:40

Seriously we are talking about a kids' party! OP's angst is feeding through to ds no doubt, if he's really crying at the window why the hell isn't she distracting him, taking him elswhere, making light of it?
Advising her to have a go at the mum is really not going to be helfpful to her.

Proudnscary · 25/09/2011 12:41

And other mum is not parading the kids in front of him on purpose , it's just an unfortunate coincidence.

SoupDragon · 25/09/2011 12:44

It isn't an "unfortunate coincidence" is is fucking inconsiderate and rude! She can not be unaware that her neighbours son isn't invited and is right there next door.

pigletmania · 25/09/2011 12:46

Awww cabbagesoup that is plain vile and nasty on the part of the adults who should know better. Talk about rubbing it in your poor ds face . It does not surprise me as adults are like that with each other. There was a hen night thread on here a few days ago, whereby a poster was the only one invited on the hen night who was not invited to the wedding of a very old friend. To add insult to injury 'this friend' was asking everyone but her for their addresses so she could send them invites .

pigletmania · 25/09/2011 12:47

Why instead of your ds looking out the window take your ds and do something really lovely with him, do what he likes and make a fantastic day of it

cabbagesoup · 25/09/2011 12:48

FYI I'm not at the window telling him to look (now that would be cruel) - we were out in the garden playing with the dogs, just about to go out for a hog roast at a friends place - I'm not a stewing type Nor do I get involved in petty crap... but this is getting right up my nose. Hence I'm having a good old moan on MN.

I know I ask for opinions but really just I guess asking for advice and other opinions on this - confirming to myself that I'm not loosing the plot.

I have way bigger perspective on life, been faced with major illness and all the other things that happen in life, but there is nothing better than a good old bitch and moan to people you don;t know, who may or may not be on your side - and Big thanks to the majority who have helped!!

OP posts:

Proudnscary · 25/09/2011 12:50

Wow you are all being nuts.

Well I hope your ds is ok OP and that you manage to have a lovely afternoon whatever you do.

cabbagesoup · 25/09/2011 12:51

The neighbour was one of the whispers yesterday!! she knows...

OP posts:

worraliberty · 25/09/2011 12:55

I was with you yesterday but to be honest you sound like you're losing it now.

Yes it's not nice, but seriously you are going to alienate your child big time if you don't just let this go and get on with your life.

You're child will be forever known as 'the one with the pushy/angry mother'.

I'm sure these travel arrangements (no matter how thoughtless) weren't done to annoy you or upset your child.

pigletmania · 25/09/2011 12:57

That behaviour from your neighbours is absolutely disgusting, did she not think that your ds would see it and be . Some people are just horrid.

ll31 · 25/09/2011 12:57

I'm sorry but yesterday was it not that 3 out of fifteen weren't invite.d tbh think you're encouraging ur sons upset. Its a party, he wasn't invited , its not a big deal.

Also, most people dont' feel obliged to consider the feelings of everyone who happens to live near them when arranging stuff and neither should they imo.

tbh I think youre being completely over the top and texting other mothers over a birthdya party is just weird - what are you hoping to achieve for you or for your son by doing that - thats what I dont get.

Anyway hope u have great day and u forget about about party and ur son does too...

JajasWjolef · 25/09/2011 13:10

I'm with you all the way cabbagesoup, I think it's really sad that he wasn't invited and downright horrible that they are loading up the other children in front of your house.

I hate all this 'oh it's only a party' and that there are far worse things in life, well yes of coure there are that is blindingly obvious but for today this is crap and yes awful to see you poor boy so sad.

I would be really upset and would possibly say something to them about being unkind. You don't come across as angry or pushy to me just a normal mum concerned about her child's feelings.

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pigletmania · 25/09/2011 13:15

I think all those criticising the op would feel entirely different if it was their child. Of course she is entitled to feel the way she does, why should she suck it up, we are only human.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 25/09/2011 13:16

OP - that is a shitty thing for your son to have to face. I hope he's feeling a bit better today

Adults not considering the feelings of a child who hasn't been invited to a party in this case is just bizarre. Either they are completely thoughtless and inconsiderate, in which case it's best to ignore - or they are just plain thick, in which case they need a certain amount of sympathy for their lack of intelligence.

Tough luck if they think you are pushy/angry. They didn't consider your feelings and those of your son, so why should you care about why they think of you.

pigletmania · 25/09/2011 13:20

Maisie they sound like all of those tbh, some people are just so thoughtless, especially when the neighbour is the one whispering behind op back.

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