To think sod it, and just, let my 15yo become a couch potato??!!

[Saggyoldclothcatpuss]

im at the end of my tether! He won't eat veg. He won't eat salad. He won't eat fish. He won't eat chicken unless it's coated in breadcrumbs. He doesn't like rice much. His attitude sucks. He does sod all, he wants this or that, but doesn't even attempt to get a job. If I suggest that he might eat a carrot, or wash the dishes, he throws a wobbly. I've just dragged my knackered self into town and bought him hiking trousers, to wear with the walking boots I bought him last month, when he goes on the scout hike on Saturday, that I paid for. I asked him to eat a little coleslaw, or he won't be getting the chocolate that his gran sent over. Apparently I'm a selfish cow, who feeds him shit, and does bugger all. I'm so fucking cross, I could scream! Or beat the crap out of the little shit!

Agree with seeker

Ooh yes meant to say, def deal with the bad behaviour. But I think that is a separate issue to the food. YANBU on that front.

Agree with Seeker too...........even if OP's cooking is crap (which it obv isnt) that does not excuse the disgusting way her son speaks to her!

Oh right fair enough. No idea what to suggest then!

Take the x box away from him. That way you are depriving him of something that he wants/needs. Then tell him when his behaviour improves, he can have it back. You have to hit them where it hurts (and I dont mean in the physical sense).

Cook one meal. If he eats it, fine, if he doesnt eat it.. his problem. Dont buy chocolate, and if anyone sends some, hide it, or eat it yourself.

Sorry OP need to clarify - having had disgusting food forced down my throat as a child I tend to project! I dont think I ever called my Mum those names though, and even if your cooking was that bad (which is clearly isn't) it doesnt excuse it. I Came across as being quite harsh - sorry!

i would say the food is only a small part of the problem.
He sounds like he resents the lack of freedom due to where you life and the fact you have horses which need looking after.
If he is 15 he probably resents the fact that he has to rely on you for lifts and ferrying around.
Does he have a bike? so that he has some independance or can you look in to getting him one. You can often get them on freecycle if money is an issue.

saggy I feel your pain, I have an 18 yr old DS who is a pain, he too calls me the very same thing your ds called you, and worse the new rules in our home are that tea is served up at 7pm if you dont like/want whats on offer then go hungry or buy your own. I serve veg and luckily both Ds eat it no problem there but given a choice it would be pizza. he lives in a pit, the no bottom sheet thing made me as his has come off and not been replaced. he goes into one if i ask him to tidy or do anything so we have had a stand off over me doing any washing for him which has worked. he is starting to realise that 'the fat lazy whore' actually does a lot for him and without it his life is worse so a truce at won't last the moment. both me and DH refuse to do /give him anything if he does not act properly. I think you are doing the right thing, set some groundrules and stick to them, if he shows respect he gets stuff done, if not then withdraw it.

Someone said that teenagers are like toddlers.

Here come the science bit.

That's no exaggeration, they have similar problems with impulse control, mood and rational thinking due to reorganisation of pathways in their brain at that age. They are disconnecting old pathways and making new ones at a fast rate. Their hormones also mean they are owls, rather than larks. So they do have some excuse for odd behaviour, however I'd draw the line at the verbal abuse in this instance.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't accept this sortnof behaviour from a toddler either! Will people stop finding excuses for this boy's behaviour!