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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect my new upstairs neighbours to show some consideration?

48 replies

gilmoregirl · 18/09/2011 21:31

My heart sank when I discoverd that I now have three male students living in flat above me.

We have lived here for 18 months and although were were aware of the previous tenants there were never any issues.

The flat was sold and bought by the parents of a student - they have converted it from a two bed to a three bed and moved in their son and two friends.

Term has not even started yet and there have already been two pretty major parties.

In addition to the parties all three lads seem to strut around the place in (presumabley) cuban heeled shoes, dropping (presumabely) grand pianos every 15 minutes ALL NIGHT.

Last night DS and I both got woken up at 4.30 am by them banging around and shouting.

I have gone up and spoken to them twice to make sure they were aware that in old flats with wooden floors noise travels and that they are disturbing me.

Am I being unreasonable to expect a bit of consideration (or even for them to take their shoes off at some point?

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 18/09/2011 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

A1980 · 18/09/2011 21:35

YAB much more U than me. TBH I would have called the police to attned their major parties. Hopefully they would have found some illicit drugs in there.

I really feel for you OP. That is awful. You expect consideration from the second they move in, that's when.

What did they say when you asked them to be quiet?

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 18/09/2011 21:35

No YANBU at all.

Start keeping a noise diary now, and at the end of 4 weeks I'd be up telling them that unless things quieten down then you'll take legal action.

It could be that when term starts things quieten down a bit, but from memory we continued to behave like arseholes

I wonder if they got planning permission to convert the flat....might be interesting to find out...

A1980 · 18/09/2011 21:36

SORRY typo: that should say much more reasonable than me not unreasonable.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 18/09/2011 21:38

Oh and yes - call the police every time the parties start.

LindyHemming · 18/09/2011 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

northerngirl41 · 18/09/2011 21:42

The thing is, if you can hear them, chances are they can hear you too - sound goes two ways. So if you are absolutely convinced that your son hasn't woken them up at 5am to the joyous strains of Barney the Dinosaur or playing out in the garden etc. then by all means take it further and contact the noise abatement team at your local council. But otherwise, look into getting better sound proofing for the flats!

NormanTebbit · 18/09/2011 21:43

I live in a flat with people above and below. I hVe wooden floors and thre noisy children.

I think it's reasonable to ask them to keep it quiet between 11pm and 7am. If the partying is too much contact their university and complain. Also do you have a freehold co? Factor? If so they can contact student's mum for you. If so get her number and phone her at 4.30am when they make noise.

But bear in mind - it can sound like they are being deliberately careless dropping things on the floor etc but everyday sounds can be magnified if you are below someone.

Why not ask them to have shoes off? ( the rule in our flat)

Don't lose your temper just go and talk to them, they are probably completely unaware of how noisy they are.

Original poster

gilmoregirl · 18/09/2011 21:43

Thank you. I have been keeping a diary of the noise. They are just so loud. Compared to the other people before them.

When the first guy moved in he started assembling flat pack furniture in the middle of a sunday night - like actually at 1am.

When I went up to speak to him I introduced myself (and DS who is six) and said "I know you have just moved in and need to get organised but just to let you know that the noise travels and is really loud in my flat" His response "well I need to build my furniture"

After the party on Friday evening (which was still in full swing at 2am) I went up at 11.00 on saturday morning (NOT at 7.30am when DS woke me up ) and again mentioned that the noise travels and that it was not acceptable to be so loud. The guy I spoke to seemed to take it on board (he was clearly hungover to the point of being barely alive) and yet that same evening they were loud as ever.

It wasn't even the music that was loud it was their voices and their feet stomping around.

On the licence issue I must check that out as another neighbour mentioned that when she came to see me about the noise.

This was such a lovely quiet stair

OP posts:

blackeyedsusan · 18/09/2011 21:43

ahhh students... some have moved in downstairs... at least they have not had loud parrties yet, though I think someone tried to get in the wrong room last night as I heard some odd stuff floating up the party wall.

NormanTebbit · 18/09/2011 21:45

I live in a flat with people above and below. I hVe wooden floors and thre noisy children.

But bear in mind - it can sound like they are being deliberately careless dropping things on the floor etc but everyday sounds can be magnified if you are below someone. Our downstairs neighbour complains about the kids despite my best efforts. Sometimes he 'punishes' us by leaving his radio on all night below our bedroom so we have to sleep onthe floor in our front room.

Why not ask them to have shoes off? ( the rule in our flat)

Don't lose your temper just go and talk to them, they are probably completely unaware of how noisy they are.

NormanTebbit · 18/09/2011 21:47

Blimey so good I postedtwice.. Dunno how that happened, sorry

PlinkertyPlonk · 18/09/2011 21:47

YA definitely NBU. I'm sorry you've got rubbish neighbours; it makes life miserable in a flat.

It's worth checking whether the flat/building management company has a rule banning wooden floors in the flat (ours does). Other than that, keep the noise diary, contact your local noise pollution people at every opportunity (and get any other annoyed neighbours to do the same). Our noise people come along in a jiffy if enough people complain. Also contact their parents and the university.

Oh, and don't forget to let any small children/babies make as much noise as they possibly can from about 6am onwards - students really hate having their hangover interrupted :)

Original poster

gilmoregirl · 18/09/2011 21:49

I think that DS and I are pretty quiet - I am so aware that noise travels and that he is the only child in the stair that I am always telling him to use his indoor voice when out in the hallway etc. We wear slippers indoors and our TV is not loud. We have definately not woken them up at all DS sleeps pretty well and if he does get up he comes in to see me quietly

I am considering putting up a note in the stair with the suggestion that between 11 - 7 the noise should be kept to a minimum.

I mentioned that slippers would be a lovely present for a 21 year old when it was his 21st but he persists on wearing the clumpy shoes.

Am tempted to get some of DS friends round for an early morning play next time they have a party though and encourage them to play in the fully tiled stair where the noise is amplified

OP posts:

PlinkertyPlonk · 18/09/2011 21:52

Before everyone thinks I'm a horrible neighbour, I'm assuming that the 'are we making too much noise' conversation has happened and got nowhere!

mayorquimby · 18/09/2011 21:57

parties yes, they are out of order.
Things like walking around, flat pack furniture, watching tv or just knocking about then it's not their fault that the sond travels so badly.

PlinkertyPlonk · 18/09/2011 22:03

it's not their fault that the sond travels so badly

Maybe, but that's no excuse for being inconsiderate. Living in a flat takes a great deal of tolerance and compromise. Crashing around at night when it could be done during the day, and not even checking if it's a problem or apologising, is just plain rude.

NormanTebbit · 18/09/2011 22:10

Yes give and take is required. Mine are plonked in front of the TV with me or DP watching them from 6am or whenever they wake at weekends. They will have to stay fairly static until 8.30am -9.30am. Week days - we are getting ready for work/school so we are noisy and neighbours just have to deal with it.

Students are immature idiots most of the time - phone the university, threaten police next party.

Adversecamber · 18/09/2011 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mayorquimby · 18/09/2011 22:50

"
it's not their fault that the sond travels so badly

Maybe, but that's no excuse for being inconsiderate. Living in a flat takes a great deal of tolerance and compromise."

Agreed but if the complaints include things like their shoes making too much noise or putting together flatpack furniture then these are things one can expect to do in your house and the blame would lie more with the landlord for a poor set up than them.complaining to the landlord/tenancy board
As others have said if a kid is crying/making noise you wouldn't blame the occupant because that is a normal and expected noise of living in shared accomodation, however if the accomodation is sub standard and means that a crying or noisey child would unduly impact on neighbours then they would not be out of line

mayorquimby · 18/09/2011 22:51

*Then they would not be out of line complaining to the landlord/tenancy board

dunno how that go mixed up

going · 18/09/2011 22:55

What does the lease say about wooden floors.
We bought a first floor flat with lovely wooden floors. The flat below us had been a rental flat but was bought by a couple around the time we moved in. We had to carpet our living room as oer the buildings lease as the noise was bothering our neighbours. I think this is pretty common in flats.

PlinkertyPlonk · 18/09/2011 23:00

Putting a note on the stairs I fear will be wasted on their (clearly still developing) intellectual brains. It's too easy for them to ignore.

Write to the uni. My friend's mum is an accommodation officer for the local Uni's halls and she doesn't let ANYTHING past her. Students have to sign a 'behaviour contract' and woe betide if you don't keep your part of the deal. She has turfed many a student out of their accommodation for anti-social behaviour, much to the horror of their parents who seem to think their little darlings are above any rules.

CustardCake · 18/09/2011 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PlinkertyPlonk · 18/09/2011 23:13

Mayor - I don't know if you caught it, but the OP said they were assembling furniture at 1am. That is unreasonable given that it can be done at any time of the day. I agree that footsteps can't be helped although if they are a full grown adult jumping around then that's a different matter.

Conversions in very old buildings will nearly always have poor sound insulation. I know plenty of Georgian houses where next door's conversation on the top floor is clearly heard, via the chimney, on the ground floor. That's when you have to pretend you can't hear your neighbours at all. :)

My most annoying neighbour had a piano the other side of the wall from my bedhead. They were learning piano and would play all these tunes that I can play, but they would get the notes wrong. Totally irrational, but it really used to bug me because I would be there tapping out the tunes with my fingers thinking 'why can't you just get that note right!!'.

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