to expect my new upstairs neighbours to show some consideration?

[gilmoregirl]

My heart sank when I discoverd that I now have three male students living in flat above me.

We have lived here for 18 months and although were were aware of the previous tenants there were never any issues.

The flat was sold and bought by the parents of a student - they have converted it from a two bed to a three bed and moved in their son and two friends.

Term has not even started yet and there have already been two pretty major parties.

In addition to the parties all three lads seem to strut around the place in (presumabley) cuban heeled shoes, dropping (presumabely) grand pianos every 15 minutes ALL NIGHT.

Last night DS and I both got woken up at 4.30 am by them banging around and shouting.

I have gone up and spoken to them twice to make sure they were aware that in old flats with wooden floors noise travels and that they are disturbing me.

Am I being unreasonable to expect a bit of consideration (or even for them to take their shoes off at some point?

A couple of things: Noise is dealt with by your local councils environmental health dept. speak to them on Monday and put in a formal complaint. this will have to go to the occupiers and the owners so the parents will know about this too. second there are minimum insulation standards between floors. the councils noise team can carry out a test to see if the floors between you comply. Part of the test is with a tapping machine to test for impact noise ( clumping heavy feet!) if it doesnt comply they can require owner/freeholder to carry out works so that they do. they can also require provision of a carpet - i served a notice under the Env. Protection Act many times to get this when i worked as an Env. Health Officer. They are young and the world revolves around them (apparently!) so they will not be considerate unless made to be so. don't let it go on and on - nip it in the bud or you will have years of this as students tend to congregate in the places where there are least complaints.

"Mayor - I don't know if you caught it, but the OP said they were assembling furniture at 1am. That is unreasonable given that it can be done at any time of the day. I agree that footsteps can't be helped although if they are a full grown adult jumping around then that's a different matter."

No I did catch that. Once again I'd agree with you if it's things like hammering or drills etc or something blatantly unreasonable.
My only point was that I'd need a bit more clarification before I'd lay the blame at their door as being unreasonable in all circunstances. So putting together flat pack furniture, if done normally, even at 1 am is not something which would disturb and impose on neighbours in terms of noise in a standard house/apartment block and if it did I'd blame the landlord more than the tennant.
Of course if they're throwing parts around or banging parts around they'd be out of line, but if they were just moving stuff around and assembling flat pack furniture I wouldn't view that as an inherently unreasonable past-time regardless of the time becuase normally it would not generat enough noise to disturb neighbours unless the walls were unusually thin

If the flat is owned by the parents of one of them, then surely there isn't much that the uni can do?

Sounds awful though, I would be furious and encouraging my DCs to play loudly at 7am.

I would totally have a party with your DS's friends to let them know how loud they are.

TBH I doubt complaining to the Uni will work. They are living in private accomodation so I doubt the uni has any jurisdiction. If they were living in uni owned accomodation it would be a uni matter.

I would try and get the contact details of the owners of the flat, who are presumably the parents of one of the students, and complain to them EVERY time there is a party. Day to day stuff is more a case of negotiation I think.

Having lived next door to a student house for years (some groups delightful, others a nightmare) my top tip is to call the drug squad rather than the police when the party gets too much. They usually find something and are quick to close it down

Check your lease for conditi

Check your lease for conditions. We have a lovely condition in ours making anything which causes a nuisance to other residents a breach of the lease. We can then take people to the LVT (Leashold Valuation Trust???) if they won't sort out a problem. The ultimate power of the LVT is to take the lease away, which usually means people sort it out before we get there. (I'm on the management board BTW, not just randomly deciding to sort out neighbours). How is the leasehold managed for your flats?

YABU. If you live in a flat, you have to deal with people in close proximity.

As a 21 year old university student, two parties isn't a lot. And my upstairs neighbour is a loud douche bag who is up all night playing world of warcraft through base speakers waking up DS every night and he's about 40.

The police will do nothing.

Having been woken up in a hotel room a few hours ago (5.30 to be exact) because the middle-aged business-type woman next door could not get up early without breakfast bloody television at full blast I take exception to the reference to male students!

But of course Hiss, being considerate, you warn all your neighbours beforehand that you are having a party and let them know what time it will end?

Perhaps a word with the parents first. Yes noise is unreasonable, as are parties. I would point out that young men, in particular are not always aware that their voices are loud and that the timbre of their voices can make the noise carry.
As for the parties, insist on a 'closing down' time, eg. 1 0' Clock. A 'look we don't mind you having people over, but we have young children' approach may work, or invite one down to hear the others clumping around so that they have an idea of just how noisy it is.

If official channels of complaint are not successful, put our speakers on top of your wardrobe, pointing at the ceiling and play really loud music with the bass turned up from early in the morning, while they are dealing with their hangover. Then go out for the morning with your child.

Tell them that every time they have a party, you will reciprocate.

I love the idea of phoning their mums at 4.30 in the morning.

I think you are being too kind not complaining about a party until after 11am. When we had problems with neighbours my dad would always complain about the noise from a party early in the morning - say 7 or at the most 8am.

However I do think YABU to think they should walk around without shoes on to reduce noise. Of course very considerate neighbours would do this, but they ANBU not doing this.

I feel for you OP. I live in a flat and it is driving me crazy as I can hear the lady upstairs talking on the phone, going to the bathroom, walking around. I can hear what she is watching on telly...and she NEVER GOES OUT!!!
She's there now, rambling on, watching Cash in the Attic.

(I am at home job hunting and so it is making me a bit mental that I never actually feel alone in the house)
There is no way I could ever have sex in my bedroom. I couldn't even talk dirty.(and I am not married, so do have sex occasionally)

If three students moved into the flat above me, I would just have to moved out because there would literally be no peace.
I say you have a contract taken out on them asap. It's the only way.

Have I lost it?

They do sound unreasonable but I am wary of categorically saying YANBU because of my experiences. I have lived in my flat for 3 years with my flatmate and for the last 2 years we have been students. We also have wooden floors and the occasional party (average two a year).

My below and to the left neighbor has called environmental health on us and compained at every party we have had. This is despite only playing quiet music (through a laptop), making everyone take thier shoes off, making everyone go upstairs at midnight (maisonette) and other noise saving measures. I have also warned her days in advance everytime we organise one. When the council came round they didn't even speak to us as they out noise recording equipment in her flat and could not record a peep.

Its quite stressful for us and we have not thrown a party in about a year because of it. None of our other neighbors have ever complained.

Tricky one. I think lads are generally a little louder than the average old biddy, even without being intentinally loud. Deep voices carry further and heavy people generally have a heavier footfall.

In my old place we never heard the neighbour, but then he moved out and the new neighbour was a real night owl -> tv until early hours of the morning, moving around the flat, the squeak of the chairs being moved around at all hours, people talking, ... Annoying, but not really anything the neighbour could do about. The walls were just too thin.

We've put up a lot of flat pack furniture in our new place, at all hours of the day and night, it's a fairly silent activity, so if the noise of that is a problem, then your walls are just too thin, and you were very lucky with the old neighbours.

I think being partially deaf is a requirement when living in old, wooden floored flats. Sorry

SnapesMistress - you sound lovely and very considerate. I'd be over the moon to have you as a neighbour.

Agree with Tulip about acquiring deafness in a flat. IME, I think problems can arise when someone lives on their own. When there is more than 1 of you in a flat, you generally aren't aware of sounds from outside the flat (parties excluded) because there's always background noise (conversation, flatmate's music, kids running around etc). When you live on your own, you don't have that to the same extent (unless you are talking to yourself!) and so you tend to notice every little sound from outside the flat.

To you being quiet between 11pm and 7am is reasonable, because that's when you would expect to be quiet. For students, they may well be out from lunchtime till 11pm at lectures, studying in the library and working in bars/clubs/late night supermarkets etc so the only time they get to spend in the flat is after 11pm. The council won't do anything about normal noises like walking across a floor or putting together furniture, even if it is at 1am.

Yes they should show consideration - but I suspect the main issue here is the quality of the soundproofing in the flats, not their behaviour.

Why don't you soundproof your side, rather than expecting them to be as quiet as mice?

if their voices and their footsteps were louder than the music, then i think really it is a problem with sound insulation rather than them being very unreasonable
I agreee that you need to soundproof..

Totally feel your pain. I've lived next to a few students in my time, including one studying music who thought he was destined to become a big DJ. Nightmare.

I'd organise your DS's next birthday party for 9am on a Sunday morning. Or even earlier if guests' parents are compliant!