To feel like a bad mum because I find it hard to role play with DS?

[PollyPeppa]

DS often begs me to play with him. He loves role play games and I seem to have lost the ability to play since becoming an adult!!! I read to him, we go places & play other kind sof games but these are his favourites and I feel like a bad mum because I find it so hard and get so bored playing them ... DH on the other hand is a whizz at voices and imaginative play which makes me look even worse!!! AIBU?

Well if you are, so am I.... I can't bear role play, find it really boring and usually look for an excuse to do something else! Luckily my DD1 is old enough now to have friends round to role play merrily with, and DD2 is too little to care!

No YANBU and not everyone is good at everything I hate baking but fortunately DH does. If between you both he is getting what he needs and likes then there is no hardship for him ..........you sound like a lovely mum lots of dc don't get any attention. FWIW I also am hopeless at role play and pretending .....might manage doctors and nurses or shop, but nothing imaginative.

YABU.

I made the mistake of doing a treasure hunt for DD1 when she was about 5, I then had to endure three odd years of her badgering me to do more.

It's good you and your DH compliment each other to do different stuff with him.

Y'big dafty

My DH is the best role player out of the two of us, he will happily play for hours. I prefer the reading and crafty stuff too. I will play for ages with mega blocks and lego.... we just manage to do the stuff we are good at, anyway my 6yo has told me I am rubbish at playing army and Dad is the best!

You are not a rubbish mum

Yes I did 'shop' quite well today! Just don't want to be the parent who is rubbish at playing

I remember being amazing at rold play as a kid, what the hell happened?! I find it so difficult!

It is boring, I find it boring so you're not alone there. Especially as it's often quite prescriptive from their point of view - do this mummy, talk like this not like that etc. And it's usually when you're tired or trying to make the dinner.

I've recently read the book 'playful parenting' which has been quite good in encouraging me to play more often and to sort of break through the boredom barrier. The more you do it the more you loosen up and start enjoying it.

in my defence, I think I am rubbish at playing army cos I don't agree with the actual shooting, while Daddy is just the big kid that acts like a six year old

get them lots of dollies and teddies to role play with

i don't remember my mum ever playing with us, we just got on with it

Have a look at the book Playful Parenting. It's got interesting insights in the value and meaning of play for children, and why we 9me included) might find play difficult, but also how vital it is.

Sorry - I see Besom already mentioned it

I get quite into jumping on the trampoline and reading doing funny voices but the " please mummy play with me" really tugs on the heartstrings!

How old is your DS?

DD1 used to tell me stories when I was doing the housework or walking anywhere, very little imput from me and it'd harness her chatterboxness

DS and his sister play for hours and hours with their teddies, failing that DH will play with DS so he's not missing out, I just feel like a bit of a dick for not being able to do it!

He's 3

You are not a bad mum.

You have to play to your strengths and it took me a long time of beating myself up to discover this, for the longest time I thought I had to be brilliant at all aspects of parenting.

Years later I can happily report that I am fab at cuddles, stories, making up nonsence songs and crafty stuff.

Everything else I am okay at, on a good day, maybe

Good point WTWTA

me: singing, explaining, listening playing board games, snuggling

not so good: baking, messy play

Polly - I will do limited 'role playing' (being the lady in the cafe/lady in the shop etc) I will not be a fairy, dog or whatever. I also can't stand being told & corrected constantly about what 'the lady' wants/says etc - at that point I say that if they want a parrot they should play with the mirror :)

Like you I'll do lots of other things endlessly - but not this. It's a good age to learn 'No, I don't want to do that, I don't enjoy it - but we can do x, y or z if you want to' they are getting your time & attention but start to realise they can't always control the situation - which is a skill they all need to learn and it will help them with friends as well - and to assert themselves when friends want to play things they don't enjoy - well, that's my theory & I'm sticking to it!!

There was a thread on here a while ago (18 months ago maybe) about playing with kids - it was really interesting. You could try the Advance Search you might find it.

Yabu. You can't be a whizz at every part of parenting.

I do educational, factual stuff. Imaginative role play baffles me.

ChippingIn - rofl!

Sorry nothing to do with the thread but Getawayfromheryoubitch - I love your name.

I agree with chippingin. From around the age of 3 I told ds1 I am happy to draw, play with playdough or play Lego etc but I don't want to play cars, builders or army ( barney army is the worst isn't it!). I think it has helped him be more compromising in playing with friends. (he's now nearly 6)

If this is the mark of rubbishness then I'm rubbish too. I hate role playing games and can usually manage one round of whatever it is that DD wants to play - she loves it and wants to play again and again and again and I run away shouting NO Mummy doesn't want to play that anymore! Cue v grumpy face from DD. My Mum is great and much more patient than me and DP is fab at inventing new games so overall she does ok.

This is actually a very reassuring thread for all of us role play refusniks.

YANBU. Of all the things for a Mum to feel guilty about, an inability to enjoy role play games with a 3 year old has to come way down the list. Especially when he has a sibling to play with AND a Dad who happens to be good at that kind of play.