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AIBU?

To feel like a bad mum because I find it hard to role play with DS?

30 replies

PollyPeppa · 16/09/2011 20:42

DS often begs me to play with him. He loves role play games and I seem to have lost the ability to play since becoming an adult!!! I read to him, we go places & play other kind sof games but these are his favourites and I feel like a bad mum because I find it so hard and get so bored playing them ... DH on the other hand is a whizz at voices and imaginative play which makes me look even worse!!! AIBU?

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ChippingIn · 16/09/2011 23:08

Beamur - my niece has my Mum playing the same princess game again & again & again and she's a bossy little wench who will tell Mum off and make her do it again 'the right way nana if Mum gets one word wrong I tell Mum to Nan-up and tell her when she's had enough - but will she hell

Beamur · 16/09/2011 22:53

ChippingIn thats sounds so familiar - I remember my Mum being fun but I can't remember her doing this kind of play with me, that was what friends/neighbours/cousins were for, but she will play endless games of shop/zoo/vet/doctors with DD

ChippingIn · 16/09/2011 22:34

Beamur - my Mum hates any kind of role play. When I was little she'd do things for me to help me play and probably had the odd rank cup of tea (she would let me use water/milk/ribenna etc in my tea set ) but that was about it. However, as a Nana she spends a lot of time role playing She is well wound around some small fingers!!

budgieshell · 16/09/2011 22:34

I loved the role play but the DD's didn't like me joining in, they would wonder off and leave me playing on my own. Felt like I was rubbish because I put them off. Watched a lot of childrens telly on my own too because they would go and play.

He loves you very much if he wants you to play with him. Doctors is good because you can lie on the bed and be bandaged, just groan every now and then like your in pain easy.

youarekidding · 16/09/2011 22:30

YANBU. I'm crap at role play and don't enjoy it and therefore would probably spoil for for DS.

Hasn't done him any harm he's great at role play - in fact he lives in fantasy land.

NeedaCostume · 16/09/2011 22:17

YANBU. Of all the things for a Mum to feel guilty about, an inability to enjoy role play games with a 3 year old has to come way down the list. Especially when he has a sibling to play with AND a Dad who happens to be good at that kind of play.

Beamur · 16/09/2011 21:42

This is actually a very reassuring thread for all of us role play refusniks.

Beamur · 16/09/2011 21:41

If this is the mark of rubbishness then I'm rubbish too. I hate role playing games and can usually manage one round of whatever it is that DD wants to play - she loves it and wants to play again and again and again and I run away shouting NO Mummy doesn't want to play that anymore! Cue v grumpy face from DD. My Mum is great and much more patient than me and DP is fab at inventing new games so overall she does ok.

Tamdin · 16/09/2011 21:37

I agree with chippingin. From around the age of 3 I told ds1 I am happy to draw, play with playdough or play Lego etc but I don't want to play cars, builders or army ( barney army is the worst isn't it!). I think it has helped him be more compromising in playing with friends. (he's now nearly 6)

Besom · 16/09/2011 21:10

Sorry nothing to do with the thread but Getawayfromheryoubitch - I love your name.

PollyPeppa · 16/09/2011 21:08

ChippingIn - rofl!

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Meglet · 16/09/2011 21:05

Yabu. You can't be a whizz at every part of parenting.

I do educational, factual stuff. Imaginative role play baffles me.

ChippingIn · 16/09/2011 21:01

Polly - I will do limited 'role playing' (being the lady in the cafe/lady in the shop etc) I will not be a fairy, dog or whatever. I also can't stand being told & corrected constantly about what 'the lady' wants/says etc - at that point I say that if they want a parrot they should play with the mirror :)

Like you I'll do lots of other things endlessly - but not this. It's a good age to learn 'No, I don't want to do that, I don't enjoy it - but we can do x, y or z if you want to' they are getting your time & attention but start to realise they can't always control the situation - which is a skill they all need to learn and it will help them with friends as well - and to assert themselves when friends want to play things they don't enjoy - well, that's my theory & I'm sticking to it!!

There was a thread on here a while ago (18 months ago maybe) about playing with kids - it was really interesting. You could try the Advance Search you might find it.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 16/09/2011 21:00

Good point WTWTA

me: singing, explaining, listening playing board games, snuggling

not so good: baking, messy play

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 16/09/2011 20:59

You are not a bad mum.

You have to play to your strengths and it took me a long time of beating myself up to discover this, for the longest time I thought I had to be brilliant at all aspects of parenting.

Years later I can happily report that I am fab at cuddles, stories, making up nonsence songs and crafty stuff.

Everything else I am okay at, on a good day, maybe

PollyPeppa · 16/09/2011 20:57

He's 3

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PollyPeppa · 16/09/2011 20:56

DS and his sister play for hours and hours with their teddies, failing that DH will play with DS so he's not missing out, I just feel like a bit of a dick for not being able to do it!

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AgentZigzag · 16/09/2011 20:56

How old is your DS?

DD1 used to tell me stories when I was doing the housework or walking anywhere, very little imput from me and it'd harness her chatterboxness

PollyPeppa · 16/09/2011 20:55

I get quite into jumping on the trampoline and reading doing funny voices but the " please mummy play with me" really tugs on the heartstrings!

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GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 16/09/2011 20:54

Sorry - I see Besom already mentioned it

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 16/09/2011 20:54

Have a look at the book Playful Parenting. It's got interesting insights in the value and meaning of play for children, and why we 9me included) might find play difficult, but also how vital it is.

southeastastra · 16/09/2011 20:53

get them lots of dollies and teddies to role play with

i don't remember my mum ever playing with us, we just got on with it

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barneyisthedevilindisguise · 16/09/2011 20:52

in my defence, I think I am rubbish at playing army cos I don't agree with the actual shooting, while Daddy is just the big kid that acts like a six year old

Besom · 16/09/2011 20:51

It is boring, I find it boring so you're not alone there. Especially as it's often quite prescriptive from their point of view - do this mummy, talk like this not like that etc. And it's usually when you're tired or trying to make the dinner.

I've recently read the book 'playful parenting' which has been quite good in encouraging me to play more often and to sort of break through the boredom barrier. The more you do it the more you loosen up and start enjoying it.

PollyPeppa · 16/09/2011 20:50

I remember being amazing at rold play as a kid, what the hell happened?! I find it so difficult!

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