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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to share anti anxiety pills with sister

73 replies

scuzy · 16/09/2011 10:53

my sister has been refused help or any prescrition to help her deal with sleeplessness and anxiety from her doctor.

i had suffered from depression (currently weaning off at the moment) but have some axicalm which is basically valium that i offered her.

she has a 3 yr old and a 5 month old. the baby is colicky and lactose intollerant and is in and out of hospital every couple of weeks. her husband works all hours he can and is therefore not at home. they have financial worries and lives in an area where they know no one. she is at home at the time, no neighbour or friend to help mind kids while she gets a nap or anything. i live 4 hours away from her.

i feel so helpless to my sister and offered to post her these to take the edge off her anxiety.

AIBU?

OP posts:
hopenglory · 16/09/2011 10:55

God no, don't share medication. Suggest she goes to see another Dr

FabbyChic · 16/09/2011 10:55

Dont! YOu can't do that, you have no idea what her reaction would be.

Sometimes people need constant doses, just the odd one doesn't work.

Tell her to change her doctor to one who is understanding of mental illness.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 10:58

she has changed doctor. he told her she would have to be mentally assessed first and would be lucky is she would be seen this side of xmas. he gave her nothing in the mean time. i was though while i was waiting for assessment.

they are low dosage and she said she would think about it.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 16/09/2011 10:59

You should never, never share prescription medicines with anyone else. Ever. If you can't buy it over the counter it's because it is supposed to be prescribed individually for a good reason. You could end up doing more harm than good.

Anniegetyourgun · 16/09/2011 11:00

... the doctor sounds a bit of a dick though.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:00

i fear though she will go into full blown depression or collapse if she doesnt keep help soon. she has been refused help twice. told to get a good night sleep (immpossible!!!) or have a bath or read a book. ridiculous suggestions!!!

i thought perhaps one of these every now and them when things feel unbearable to help her get through.

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 16/09/2011 11:02

She mustn't take them, they may not be the right drug for her. My friend offered me some tramadol (painkillers) she'd got left over from an operation, I had major toothache. There would have been no point in me taking Tramadol, it was the wrong kind of pain relief. In my case, ibruprofen was the right medication.

She needs to find another (yet another) GP who can help her. I also pretty sure its illegal to take a prescription drugs that is not prescribed to you. So potentially, and especially if some went wrong, you could both be in trouble.

ChrissasMissis · 16/09/2011 11:04

Can you have here see your doctor? I'm sure she's probably not registered at your surgery, but you can visit a GP as a "visitor":

www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/how-can-i-see-a-gp-if-im-away-from-home.aspx?CategoryID=68&SubCategoryID=158

I don't know why but some GPs are just really unhelpful and frankly, unsympathetic about mental health issues. Good luck.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:04

i know its illegal your right. but she lives in a small village has been both doctors already and they keep saying that because the rate of anti d's beeing prescribed they have to wait now until people are seen by someone and the HSE is months behind in giving appointments. i was waiting 5 months but thankfully was prescribed something in the mean time.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 16/09/2011 11:04

Yes, very unreasonable indeed.

You can't just share medicine. There is a reason that we have pharmacists for over-the-counter medicine and a reason why other drugs are prescription only.

She needs a better GP. You need some common sense. You are more likely to hurt her than help her in the long run if you try to fix her yourself.

emsyj · 16/09/2011 11:05

YABVU.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:05

sorry folks should have clarified we live in ireland. we are in different provinces and live 4 hours drive apart.

OP posts:
iliketeabutprefercoffeetoday · 16/09/2011 11:05

Absolutely do not give her your medication.

Can the health visitor give her back up and support her with getting help from the GP? Just that if another professional is fighting in your sister's corner, it may help things a bit. The health visitor may also be able to refer to a community psychiatric nurse which may allow for a quicker assessment?

The health visitor may also be able to refer her for support (is it homestart?) which may be able to help her a little during the day so she can get some rest.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:06

there are no other GPS!!

OP posts:
Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:06

there is no health visitor either.

OP posts:
RunnerHasbeen · 16/09/2011 11:06

That's ridiculous, you don't know enough about her medical history or medicine in general to make these decisions. Is there nothing practical you can do as her circumstances are really tough just now and it is not surprising she is struggling, it isn't necessarily medical in origin, nor is that your call. Help her financially, take her a batch of pre-made meals, find out about support services in her area or have the 3 yr old for a visit? What about the rest of your family, can you rally round and sort something out? Either that or recommend she join MN, to meet people and get some support, there must be something you can think of that isn't handing over pills, even if they seem like the easiest solution.

reallytired · 16/09/2011 11:06

What you have done is seriously wrong, even though you have good intentions.
Anti anxiety pill can be extremely addictive. You could be setting your sister up for all host of life problems with addiction to tranqualisers.

What makes you think you know better than your sister's GP? Anti depressants/ tranqualisers are serious medication. They aren't smarties and what you are doing is irresponisble.

I suggest that you sister contacts her health visitor for other ideas of treatment or support if she is having no joy with her GP. A good health visitor might act as an advocate for her with dealing with doctors or she can make a direct referal to the community mental health team.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:09

my parents are diabled and my mam is already giving her some of her pension to help her out.

as i said i live far away twice this year i have been down to her (leaving my own son behind) to help her out get her some rest take the kids but i dont have any holidays left from work to take more time off. i ring her every day we give her all the support we possibly can.

i am not handing over pills as an easy option. i hear her everyday on the phone and she is sounding like she is slipping further and further down and with NO ONE close by i fear for her.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 16/09/2011 11:10

No way should you give your sister your medication.

TBH it sounds like she has her hands full at the moment and if she does go on vallium there is no way she would be able to cope!!

My sis goes on vallium ocassionally and it makes her like a zombie!

There is a reason her doctor hasnt perscribed her drugs...I dont think they are a cure for everything. My sisters GP gives her vallium at the drop of a hat and it bloody annoys me as everytime something happens in her life that upsets her she turns to vallium rather than try to actually sort out the problem.

So YABU - you are not a GP and therefore should not be dishing out your tablets!

reallytired · 16/09/2011 11:10

I don't know what the medical system is in ireland, but Ireland isn't a third world country. Prehaps an irish mumsnetter would advise.

reallytired · 16/09/2011 11:11

Maybe your sister should try St John's Wort. It is available over the counter and safer than vallium.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:11

first of all before i'm called every name under the sun i have NOT posted them to her. i know its wrong and hence why i posted here.

the reason the doc didnt give her anything is he will be in trouble if he prescribes it without her being assessed first. THATS the only reason. stupid red tape.

OP posts:
Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:12

cant get St John Wort in ireland. she has tried over the counter stuff but doesnt work.

OP posts:
iliketeabutprefercoffeetoday · 16/09/2011 11:15

I don't know about the medical system in ireland, but where does she go to get her baby weighed / development check etc? Otherwise, can she phone the maternity hospital nearby and ask where other parents get support? Although her baby is 5 mo, I imagine there are other mothers of new borns in the same situation, and maybe someone at the hospital would know where to get support? Same for the community midwife, or are there none of those either? I know that she's not pregnant, but maybe a midwife would know where to get support?

fanjobanjowanjo · 16/09/2011 11:16

Don't send them.

Has she tried any over the counter remedies, like kalms, or rescue remedy? Could she go to any groups to make friends etc? Could you go for a weekend (ie drive after work fri and come back sun) perhaps bring her back to you for a rest and help look after her DCs?

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