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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to share anti anxiety pills with sister

73 replies

scuzy · 16/09/2011 10:53

my sister has been refused help or any prescrition to help her deal with sleeplessness and anxiety from her doctor.

i had suffered from depression (currently weaning off at the moment) but have some axicalm which is basically valium that i offered her.

she has a 3 yr old and a 5 month old. the baby is colicky and lactose intollerant and is in and out of hospital every couple of weeks. her husband works all hours he can and is therefore not at home. they have financial worries and lives in an area where they know no one. she is at home at the time, no neighbour or friend to help mind kids while she gets a nap or anything. i live 4 hours away from her.

i feel so helpless to my sister and offered to post her these to take the edge off her anxiety.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 16/09/2011 11:17

Yeah, she sounds like she needs support rather than drugs anyway. Drugs arent gonna make her friends or ease her money worries, they will just numb her to them! Am sure her HV could point her in the righ direction.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:18

ok i swear i am not drip feeding.

for anyone that know irealand she is in back of beyond kerry.

she had her baby on cork (2 hours away).

she had ONE health visitor when she brough niece home. thats it. same for me. no one since.

her first GP left the area. she found another one. then changed to other GP in same surgery. they are sympathetic but say that their hands are tied.

she is currently applying for medical card as cant afford gp visits and hospital appointments for her neice.

she cant afford anyone to come in for even a day to help out.

she has come to stay with me at times since i cant leave work to go to her but every week she has someone else to see re: her daughter so cant come up.

i feel for her sooo much.

OP posts:
canyou · 16/09/2011 11:19

She goes back to her GP and says I need help now, She goes to her district nurse and says I need help now [tears will help] and if that fails she goes to A&E and says I want help now. Get her DP/DH to go with her to show how it is affecting them, Is she telling the GP's everything?
I am in Irl and she can get the help she needs but 1 needs to be insistent and 2 be consistent, does she have VHI? she could go private?
If she takes your pills it may affect the treatment she later receives plse don't do it.
Tired St Johns Worth is only available on prescription here

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:20

your right guys and we spoke about it. its support she needs, rest and a break just to recharge. i totally agree. i am not knocking everything ye guys say but they are no something we have already tried and have failed. she has tried kalms and rescue rememdy. has try accupuncture and reiki. she just needs a break.

wsa evern thinking of faking get a sick cert so i could go down to her but i have a full time job and a 2 and half year old am toilet training at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:22

canyou how does she contact a district nurse? she lives in a little village.

OP posts:
Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:23

and thanks for your posts. yehave knocked sense into me. its not the route to go. i feel so desperate. she is my best friend and i feel utterly helpless!

OP posts:
canyou · 16/09/2011 11:23

The colleges are back would a nanny/child care course be looking for work placement/ be willing to a placement in the home? 1 day for 10 weeks might be worth thinking about

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:24

oh thats an idea canyou!

OP posts:
kiwimumof2boys · 16/09/2011 11:26

Yeah I agree with Canyou - she needs to assert that she needs help. Now.
From what Op has said, I think it is appalling the way she is being treated.
I hope she does get help, I really feel sorry for her.
And she is lucky to have such a caring sister like you too.

fanjobanjowanjo · 16/09/2011 11:26

Is she off work at the moment? Could she come and stay with you? Or is there not enough room?

kiwimumof2boys · 16/09/2011 11:27

Just re reading my original post - I meant appalling the way the dr's etc have been treating her - not family !
Just thought i'd make that clear.

FabbyChic · 16/09/2011 11:27

Write to her doctors, tell them they have to help her urgently before she has a breakdown, that or ring them.

Mandy2003 · 16/09/2011 11:28

Axicalm is 100% valium. I have taken valium "as required" for over 20 years and have been able to take it or leave it. Most people are not so lucky, it can take over 20 years to break the easily-occuring addiction. Don't go there.

But to play Devils Advocate, in many countries (probably now outside the EU) you can buy them over the counter, so people saying there must be a good reason for prescription only drugs - it depends where you live!

canyou · 16/09/2011 11:29

Scuzy ask her GP did she have a home visit on their return from hosp the same place she would have gone for 12 week assessment/weighting etc? Online the HSE.ie website it will give services and contacts there is also a helpline no will pm it to you but TBH the best way is ring the GP and ask for it.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:31

oh there is room here i wish she could come up here and LIVE with me but as i said earlier she has appiointments every second week to go here and there with her baby.

Fabbychic i might just do that ring the doctors on her behalf and explain.

she doesnt work (well not outside the home anyway). she works damn hard.

OP posts:
fanjobanjowanjo · 16/09/2011 11:34

I wish you all the best with it and hope you can get through to the doctor that it is an emergency and they need to help now

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:34

true Mandy2003 my sil in in spain at the moment and is getting me the pill. cant afford the 50 quid to just get a script at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:35

thanks fanjo. i'm going to be more proactivein getting her help rather than post her meds. tbh i dont want her to be on them for 3 years like me but if she needs them she needs them but thats not for me to decide.

just wish i fuckin didnt live so far away!!!

OP posts:
canyou · 16/09/2011 11:38

Scuzy have pm'd you the HSE help line ph no and web address, is your Mum in the same town/village if so she might know the district nurse, it is the same person who arranges home help etc she might know who to ask

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:39

canyou my parents are 2 hours away from her. my mam suffered a stroke and tbh i dont want to worry my parents any more than what they already know. they think she is in financial trouble and helping her out where am they havent a clue about her mental state.

OP posts:
Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:40

oh and thanks for the pm

OP posts:
canyou · 16/09/2011 11:45

I am sorry about your Mum that really is not helping your poor sis, hope your Mum is doing ok

Maryz · 16/09/2011 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:52

thanks everyone. after loads of phonecalls and transfers got a lovely guy in her area that suggested he do that (go to A&E with screaming kids if things are bad .... scandalous really) but he toook my number and a community nurse in her area is going to ring me back.

fingers crossed.

OP posts:
Original poster
scuzy · 16/09/2011 11:53

canyou mum is fine thanks. but i dont want to worry them anymore. my mam is like me ... wouldnt sleep and as helpless as i feel she feels evern worse as would only love to help with her grandkids but cant.

OP posts: