To think that nursery owner shouldn't be shouting at my son?

[justlookatthatbooty]

My 2 dc's wouldn't put their shoes on at pick up time. I had been there 20 minutes looking at things they had been playing with and it was time for shoes on so I started gently and moved towards firm after 10 mins of messing about. AT which point the silly owner said to my son that pick up time isn't for mother's to come and play with their children at the nursery it's time for children to put their shoes on. Bit silly but fair enough, whatever. Then with a little more rebellion from my 3 year old who kept giggling and running away from shoes, She abruptly yelled at him from other side of the room with seemingly genuine agression "JOSHUA... NOW I AM GOING TO GET REALLY ANGRY..!!!" There were still 3 other kids there without their parents having arrived and it was an hour before closing time. It was sheer behaviour control and it felt like she was butting into my own moment with the kids which actually had absolutely feck all to do with her.
Son looked really shocked and tearful and slinked as far away from her as he could and put his shoes on but not like it made any sense.

Sad.

AIBU?

I 'm curious to know how the other children where, some younger children at the end of a session can be tired and ready for their mums. A few will get upset when they see a mummy and there is no sign of their mummy. If this was the case some one should have a quite word with you and explain. This some times backfires and the quite word can be taken the wrong way and may upset a parent. What ever the reason the message should be given to you not directed through your dc.

DS's nursery has an open pick up time rather than sessions too, I may have a word with a staff member while he gets ready to leave but I wouldnt go in and start playing with them/going around and looking at stuff for more than 2 minutes absolute maximum, as the other children would see in the nursery and then want their mums to be in there with them.

I would actually be a bit if another parent did that at his nursery, as especially when he started he really would have been unsettled and got upset about me not being there.

DS has a learning journal that I can take home, regular parents evenings/open afternoons and a page up daily describing the days activities and meals and often a few photos too, so the communication is really good. Perhaps this is something that needs to be improved at your nursery.

YABVU.

20 minutes is a very long time to spend wandering around in a nursery which is still working and caring for other children. 10 minutes is a very long time to spend faffing about getting ready to go. She clearly dropped a very broad hint which you did not take and then progressed to being firm. If she genuinely "shouted" then that is something you may need to address. If she simply raised her voice then I don't see the problem.

I don't understand some of your subsequent posts - I don't get the bit about not making leaving nursery a big issue "for once" and I don't understand why the nursery owner being a muslim is remotely relevant to anything.

It reads to me as though you have decided you don't like the nursery which is absolutely fair enough, and you are looking for reasons to have a gripe with them as you resent having to pay during your notice period.

This is referring to answers to post a while ago but I didn't say this was bullying I said my old nursery was. They definitely were bullies, although thankfully not to children just to certain parents. Complaints made to OFSTED etc, not just by me.

I'm wondering why the posters of MN have suddenly decided that the OP must be exaggerating and the nursery owner must have just used a firm tone of voice . How insulting to the OP. Wet parenting, maybe, but still not a reason to shout at a small child and scare him. There are other, more effective, tactics to dealing with situations such as that.