Private companies running classes in state schools, DD can't go because we are poor, AIBU to complain??

[PollyPeppa]

We are below the poverty line as we have 3 DC's and DH and I are full time uni students. We worked in low paid jobs and decided enough was enough and are now hoping to get better ones after university.

DD's school had just started up after school Spanish club. We sent her along to the trial session and she loved it. We had foolishly assumed there would be a concessionary rate (as there usually is with after school clubs) but there is not as it is run by a private company so we can't afford for her to go again.

I feel this is very unfair to offer this as only children whose parents can afford to send them can go, I think it creates a divide in the 'state' system.

Bring back Latin!

I'll vote for that!

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou - like i said I speak spanish fluently, there really are not that many jobs which require spanish.
I actually agree that languages should be taught from primary - but this extra curicular class will not be fulfilling that gap in the education system. its a fun class of 7 sessions. The amount learnt in that time will be negligable, and unless the op is prepared to look for more classes once this one has finished (which she would have to pay for) the benefit of this class would be negligable also.

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou - as has been pointed out many times on this thread, if learning a language at the primary level is going to be the way out of poverty, then there are plenty of FREE resources for parents to teach their children - or indeed, to teach a bunch of children who can't afford to do the private classes.

Electra - my kids didn't do lots of expensive after-school classes because we couldn't afford it - just like we couldn't afford the trips abroad etc. They understand that there is a finite amount of disposable income in the household, and choices have to be made.

At the moment, we are saving all we can, in order to be able to finance the dses maintenance costs at university. Because we live in Scotland, their fees are paid (or some of them are paid if they study in England, and they can take out a loan for the rest) - but because dh's income falls above a certain level, they are only entitled to take out the minimum student loan towards their living costs - and that's under £1,000 per year. We are going to have to find the rest - upwards of £42,000 over six years. We know, and the boys know, that this is going to mean some hard choices over the years to come, and they understand that some of the things they, and we, want, aren't going to happen.

We started teaching them this lesson early on - if we couldn't afford something, we told them so. I checked with them today, and none of them feel this made them somehow less worthy than any of their school friends who were better off, nor did they ever feel superior to those less well off.

Telling a child you can't afford something isn't telling them they are less worthy or that they are inferior - well, not in my experience, anyhow.

But by going to uni you are limiting you earning capacity- and in your OP state you are POOR...so fuck yourself with your 'cretinous comments'! And yes blah blah bettering herself...I did that when my kids were small, yet ensured we had enough income coming into the household i.e my husband didnt decide to trot off to uni and severley restrict his earning potential too! And we also didnt moan about what other people have and what we couldnt afford as it was our choice to do it that way!

In fairness, the OP has had to state so many times that she and her dh are better off financially now than before they started at university, that she is seeing the red mist descend whenever someone else makes the same point about it.

SDT - university isn't an option at all for children who never got to learn and develop their study skills in the first place. Studying is a cultural thing. I get what you're saying about everyone finding the cost of education hard.

I still do not get why people think spanish lessons are an outrageous luxury - everyone is assuming they are unbelievably expensive when nothing to that effect has been said.

Well a) excuse me if I simply cant be arsed to trawl through a whole 25 pages of posts and b) why is she calling herself POOR if she is earning more now than when she worked? Why state she is poor if she is now saying she isnt? Then having a go at people who respond to her labelling herself poor?

Telling your child you can't afford something is fine but that isn't the point.

Well, I wouldn't be paying for Spanish lessons and I can afford to. I wouldn't be paying because I don't think learning a MFL is remotely useful . I'd happily pay for mandarin though.
Learning to ride, on the other hand , essential life skill. In my family anyway!

And how much are these Spanish lessons?

Price of a packet of fags?

electra - the whole point of the thread is that she thinks the spanish lessons at her daughters school are unbelievably expensive

I was told that we couldn't afford things plenty of times as a child and I didn't feel deprived,I never went without anything I needed, we weren't poor but not well off either. We can't afford to give our children everything they could ever want, very few people can afford for their children to attend every activity they might like to do. The vast majority of people have to budget and have limited disposable income. Unless you are the child of a billionaire, then learning that you can't have everything you want is just a normal part of life. When did we start telling people they were deprived because they couldn't afford everything they wanted?

It's not just about one Spanish class though, is it? I hate the fact that those children from better off families will generally (yes I know many poor parents manage to get their kids a bloody good education but I'm talking generalities here) get a much better education than those from poorer familes. It is the cumilative effect of many examples of the subject of this thread.

It's not fair, it's not right and it's no coincidence that most of the countries which have overtaken us when it comes to industry and living standards, are the most meritocratic.

There are lots of things that would imo benefit my child greatly that I cannot afford at the moment, with both of us working full time. Thats life, why should others go without because I cant afford it?

They were £70 for 9 lessons, iirc. Quite expensive for most people, especially if you have several children and with the rising price of utilities, food etc. Most people are having to tighten their belts these days.

Absolutely right, stuckinthemiddle

Haven't had time to read the thread. Do you qualify for free school meals, because if you do and the families who do aren't working poor but non working, then there is plenty of money available in state school to fund extra activites, school trips etc.

You are stuffed if you are on a low waged income getting WTC though.

stuckinthemiddle , the things that advantage a child most are not extracurricular Spanish lessons but supportive parents who are interested. Good food and a stable home.

Last time I looked, none of that cost any more than doing the opposite.
Living with abuse, alcohol, drugs, disinterest and a chaotic home life is what fucks kids up,not missing a bloody Spanish class.

The OP is I expect a supportive parent, I assume that's why she posted this thread.

Very true Jilly

I wonder how many children who have everything material they want wish they were in a situation where the parents spent time with them rather than spending money on them!?

It isn't as simple as less money = disadvantaged. There is so much more to it than that and most of it comes down to the parents.

Yep, there's some very interesting facts in Freakonomics about indicators of success, parental input features highly, extra-curricular Spanish lessons less so.

Yep, there's some very interesting facts in Freakonomics about indicators of success, parental input features highly, extra-curricular Spanish lessons less so

Not just Freakonomics, its seen over and over again in the research - the home envronment is the 80/20 of the child's outcome.

Of course supportive parents are the ultimate key. However, supportive parents plus access to all possible educational oportunities is even better.

Might part of that possibly be, that supportive parents are more likely to chase things like extra-curricular Spanish?