to not let my daughter have tea/sleepover at friends who's house is filthy?

[chocolatekimmy]

Hi
One of my daughters good friends lives in an absolutely filthy house.

Numerous animals including caged rodent thingys in dining room, a dog, six cats mean crusty food bowls in the front room, hall and kitchen and crap in the back garden.

House stinks, kitchen is unbelievable, can't see the side for stuff all over it and left over food on side, clearly not been cleaned or hoovered for months/years.

Mum I understand has some health difficulties, the Dad doesn't lift a finger. I was mortified when I left her there recently and her hair/clothes stank when I picked her up the next day. Kim and Aggy would have a field day - perfect candidate for the TV show.

I'm not bothered about general mess/dust etc, and have no intention of analysing why they choose to live that way or judging them however -

What do I say if she is invited again?
How do I explain to my daughter that she can't go round there?
Or should I ignore it?

Again, thanks. I think I answered my own questions when I wrote my last post last night but great to get other views and insights.
Jux, I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties.
I like the excuse about the allergies - quite simple. All the varied comments re-inforce my gut feeling that I don't want my girls spending time round there but I'm going to make sure I invite her girls here still.

Why don't you just dress you dd in the oldest pajamas she has and let her go stay there ? She may come home a bit dirtier for it but what's the big deal she may learn from it tell her to do as they do

I sympathise, ds is friends with a boy whose house is cat-filthy. Once he came home stinking of cat piss - they had been rolling on the floor as small boys do. The cats stay indoors and have massive litter boxes but the parents are open about the cats pissing elsewhere. The cats climb on the worktops too. The place reeks, just reeks.

I am no clean freak, I'm not against cats, I raise eyebrows about keeping them indoors but they're not my business: but when you have to put your child in the shower and wash all clothes and when you can't breathe too deeply in someone's house...it's not ok.

I'm similarly unsure what to do.

Why has this thread been resurrected?

Because if the dd don't have a problem with staying there the mother sould not have a problem with her staying there

Oh gawd, is it an old thread?
Oh well.

Dad sleeping with young DD, and he is 'possessive' of her? Does this not ring HUGE red flags for other people in terms of potential sexual abuse????

Yes that could be the case I was only making a comment about that the filthiness of the house should not have stop her staying over

My very good friend at high school had a house that was worthy of a hoarding show on Sky or Kim and Aggie - looking back it was rank and you couldn't sit down without having to move great piles of stuff.

BUT she was great and I had the best fun with her and when I was banned from going round there I never forgave my parents. I never caught anything either!

Oh, old thread.

Thank you valiumredheah that the point I was trying to make so what you may have came home a bit grubby or your clothes in need of a wash