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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think you should not be announcing your pregnancy after one month?

115 replies

roses2 · 10/09/2011 23:39

so dhs friends dp is pregnant and she announced it to the world in July - it is due end February 2012.

They had a scan this week (they live in Europe) and where told it's a boy

They are getting married in a few weeks but she wants to wait until the week before to buy the dress because every day she is getting bigger and bigger (after three months I think it's more she is eating too much rather than being pregnant)

I am left feeling a bit Confused I am happy for them but announcing it one week after Flo was due and already telling people it's a boy after two and a half months?

OP posts:
WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 11/09/2011 08:18

I guessing the Europe mention thing was because they have earlier scans there?

Do you have your own children? I just wondered because you seem to think she shouldn't be putting on weight yet. That's a very individual thing, I think I had put on a few pounds by then. The tiredness makes me eat more and if she is the same then she can't help that. If you've been pregnant yourself I would be surprised if you still didn't understand that.

It really is up to them who and when they tell. Personally I think it's sensible to tell close family and friends in case you need their help with something (lift to hospital if you start to bleed or something) but not to tell everyone you've ever met, but it's a personal and everyone feels differently about it.

How on earth can they tell it's a boy at 10 weeks?!

Also, why don't you like this woman?

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 11/09/2011 08:26

YABVU and really quite mean. I hope this person has better friends than you.

LoveInAColdClimate · 11/09/2011 08:26

I don't think the OP is saying they could tell it was a boy at 10 weeks, is she? Isn't it that she had a scan a week ago which showed it was a boy? I'm due mid March and am 13+4, so if she's due at the end of Feb she'd be closer to 16 weeks? I know here you can have a private gender scan at 16 weeks - maybe they could see at 15?

Andrewofgg · 11/09/2011 08:29

MYOB

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 11/09/2011 08:32

LoveInAColdClimate She said that . . .

already telling people it's a boy after two and a half months?

so yes it sounds like that.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 11/09/2011 08:33

Andrewofgg What's MYOB?

Andrewofgg · 11/09/2011 08:34

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Mind Your Own Business.

Andrewofgg · 11/09/2011 08:35

In the last two censuses some people declared their religion as Myobian.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 11/09/2011 08:37

Oh ta.

LoveInAColdClimate · 11/09/2011 08:42

Whoseeyesbrows - I assumed the OP had just got the dates wrong but may be wrong.

MigratingCoconuts · 11/09/2011 08:45

op is a troll clearly has ishoos

PicaK · 11/09/2011 08:48

Makes me mad the idea you shouldn't tell people.

Assumes miscarriage is so shameful that you should hide it from people - or that you are being inconsiderate by making them feel sad for you.

Misogynistic rubbish.

AfternoonDelight · 11/09/2011 08:59

I told at 7 weeks for DS (1st pregnancy) and around 10 weeks for DD.

Only reason I waited to announce DD is that it was Christmas and I wanted to tell everyone on Christmas Day!

YABVU.

MrsHuxtable · 11/09/2011 10:04

If their baby is due late Feb and they had their scan this week, they didn't announce the gender after 2,5 months...

eurochick · 11/09/2011 10:09

OP, you sound lovely .

Spuddybean · 11/09/2011 10:38

i am ttc and would have to tell anyone who knows me quite early as i usually drink a lot and they would be able to tell.

i went to a wedding once and a friend declined wine and everyone said 'oh your pregnant', she was but only by about 2 weeks.

coccyx · 11/09/2011 10:40

if she is only 3 months then how can they tell the sex

sjuperwolef · 11/09/2011 10:45

wow, nice friend Hmm we announced at 4 weeks, on facebook, after telling our mums and then closest friends.

i was overweight before i fell pg but by 8 weeks had a noticeable baby belly so i think your statement about her size was incredibly rude.

carpwidow · 11/09/2011 10:53

sjuperwolef - if you have a look at the bitchy wording of the OP, she hasn't even called this lady her "friend". She has referred to her has her DH's friend's DP. She's asked for opinions, she's got them and only responded with a cat call. Here endeth my participation in this thread methinks.

Moominsarescary · 11/09/2011 10:56

cocxyx op said she was due end of feb, I'm 18 weeks and due mid feb so friend must be around 16 weeks now, I found out at 16, weeks that I'm having a boy

sjuperwolef · 11/09/2011 11:05

feck you're right carp, it is just a spiteful dig at a woman she barely/doesn't knows :(

TheVermiciousKnid · 11/09/2011 11:05

'Makes me mad the idea you shouldn't tell people.

Assumes miscarriage is so shameful that you should hide it from people - or that you are being inconsiderate by making them feel sad for you.

Misogynistic rubbish.'

Well said! I don't see a problem at all with telling people earlier - many women would be glad of the support if a miscarriage does happen.

mymummyisasquarehead · 11/09/2011 11:07

YABU

What the actual fuck has it got to do with you?!

ExpensivePants · 11/09/2011 11:08

Meant to say that too, good post from PicaK. Why the hell should women have to go through this alone? Shameful secret is right.

PIMSoclock · 11/09/2011 11:10

Dont know what you mean about telling everyone its a boy after two and a half months. I am due the same time and Im 16 + weeks (4 months by my calculations)

Maybe they are just keen to share the good news?? There is so much bad news these days :(

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