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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think you should not be announcing your pregnancy after one month?

115 replies

roses2 · 10/09/2011 23:39

so dhs friends dp is pregnant and she announced it to the world in July - it is due end February 2012.

They had a scan this week (they live in Europe) and where told it's a boy

They are getting married in a few weeks but she wants to wait until the week before to buy the dress because every day she is getting bigger and bigger (after three months I think it's more she is eating too much rather than being pregnant)

I am left feeling a bit Confused I am happy for them but announcing it one week after Flo was due and already telling people it's a boy after two and a half months?

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 11/09/2011 01:07

The last two times we have paid for gender scans at 16 weeks, if she's due two weeks after me she will be 16 weeks now

Claw3 · 11/09/2011 01:16

Oh right, the OP wasnt very clear, announcing it one week after and already telling its a boy after two and half months. Never mind. YABU.

Moominsarescary · 11/09/2011 01:21

No I didn't think it was very clear, I'm just taking it from her saying due end of feb, I'm due on the 14th of feb

Claw3 · 11/09/2011 01:24

You do realise you just announced that and the OP will be Hmm

Congratulations! Smile

grumplestilskin · 11/09/2011 01:37

YABU. i wouldn't do it myself as would want to deal with any issues quietly but others tell their wider friends sooner as they would want their friends to know if they needed support

You don't like this woman, you are being a judgey pants about how much weight she is gaining. I had a real bump at three months, definitely not a food bump, you could feel the fundus (horrible word that!)

DaisyDaresYOU · 11/09/2011 07:24

I told my family at 5weeks with both dcs.I'm of the mind of if something is to happen it will and women should never blame themselves

monkeyfacegrace · 11/09/2011 07:31

Oooh can I, can I?!!!

Woof to you, lady.

Grin
Mitmoo · 11/09/2011 07:36

My friend told me the morning after the nookie the night before, she just knew and she was right.

I was a friend I was delighted if a little sceptical that she knew at the time.

Life in Europe

New Baby on the way

Everyone is happy to share their good news.

Envy anyone?

LoveInAColdClimate · 11/09/2011 07:40

YABU and unkind. Up to them when they tell (after all, they are the ones who who would have to "untell"' should anything happen). Also v

Also, butt out about her weight. I am a few weeks behind her (am 13+4) and have a visible bump but have not put on weight elsewhere. Am in size 8 maternity trousers as nothing else will do up - would you like to call me fat too?

BTW, the phrase "Flo was due" is .

LoveInAColdClimate · 11/09/2011 07:41

Not sure what is happening there at end of first sentence, silly iPhone.

lockets · 11/09/2011 07:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slightlyoversharing · 11/09/2011 07:43

YABVVVVVU

First off, it's nothing whatsoever to do with you - I fail to see how it affects you in any way shape or form.

I have told people at different stages each time I've been pregnant for various different and personal reasons.

As to how big she is getting, again, fuck all squared to do with you. I suffer from hyperemesis and ended up being hospitalized but with DD2 I was showing by 12 weeks and none of my clothes would fit.

This is merely your DP's friend's partner - how the fuck you think it is any of your business is beyond me. Get your judgeypants out of your arse and go out and have a life and find something real to worry about

slightlyoversharing · 11/09/2011 07:44

Oh and the phrase "flo was due" is just twee. Her period was due. Not a visit from an auntie.

Bumperlicioso · 11/09/2011 07:47

I don't understand your confusion.

Ephiny · 11/09/2011 07:51

Personally I would probably have waited a bit longer before telling people - but that's a personal decision and up to them. The rest of your post sounds weird, what's the relevance of them being from 'Europe' or getting married while she's pregnant, are we supposed to sneer at those things? And as for being bitchy about her weight/eating - you certainly don't sound a very nice 'friend'!

DialMforMummy · 11/09/2011 07:51

You are not very nice OP. My first pregnancy I told a few people before the dreaded 12 weeks scan because I thought that if I miscarried, I'd appreciate the support. I don't really see why people may want to hide the fact they have miscarried, it is not shameful.
Each to their own really and it's got nothing to do with you.
I hope she will be ok because in case she miscarries, your attitude makes me wonder what sort of friend you are.

jellybeans208 · 11/09/2011 07:55

I have been pregnant 4 times (2 were miscarriages) that doesnt stop me announcing it early. I dont see why it matters whether you tell people or not if you want to.

jellybeans208 · 11/09/2011 07:57

Also I have not any idea how anyone keeps it quiet until 12 weeks.I suppose people that do are bigger built people to start with. I am very small and skinny and am 11 weeks at the moment there would be no hiding I am pregnant I have very slim arms and legs and a big bump and massive boobs. There is no way I could get away with saying it was weight gain

pinkytheshrinky · 11/09/2011 08:01

You just sound really mean - what has it to do with you?

You seem very bitter

slightlyoversharing · 11/09/2011 08:03

ACtually Pinky I was just thinking, not bitter, but jealous? Do you wish it was you announcing the pregnancy OP?

Tinkerisdead · 11/09/2011 08:03

YABU. Im 18 weeks pregnant, due 11th of feb so i could certainly pay to find out the gender before now. At almost 5 months i have a huge bump, far bigger than my friend who is 24 weeks.

My tummy announces my pregnancy long before i do, prior to that for the first 16 weeks i was sick and people saw my travel bands on my wrists.

I didnt announce my pregnancy til 12 weeks but close family and friends knew. Because i thought if i miscarried i would want their love and support. Each to their own. So what if she's told the world, esp if its her first, its exciting.

This is my second and i try to avoid talking about it, babies feel like old news now im busy grappling a toddler! Let her enjoy the moment. The shine wears off when the sleepless nights hit!

ExpensivePants · 11/09/2011 08:09

What the hell has it got to do with you?

And I'm with Oakmaiden. Having had a mc at 11 weeks before anyone knew, it was the loneliest time of my life and having to tell people about the pg and the loss at the same time was so much worse. With this pg I didn't mind who I told when. Makes no difference to the outcome.

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoCunt · 11/09/2011 08:12

I told everyone when I was 5 weeks pg with my first. I had been trying for years and couldn't not tell people. It wasn't through lack of understanding things could go wrong. It was because if anything had gone wrong I wanted people to know so I would have support from friends and family. That and I'd been told I would never have children so I had to scream it to the world.

Also, I had my 2nd pg in France and the sex was on my notes from 12 weeks as 70% accurate.

I also showed at 3 months.

So, YABU.

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoCunt · 11/09/2011 08:13

Sorry - it should say from 15 weeks, not 12.

Chandon · 11/09/2011 08:14

I think we've been had folks...

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