To tell my son he has ADHD?

[HairyBeaver]

Hi my 6 year old son has just started year 2 at school and just been diagnoised with ADHD.

His main issues are with hyperactivity, impulsiveness and his major issue is lack of concentration. He has to have one to one teaching or he won't do any work as he goes off with the fairies.

His not a naughty boy and only gets into trouble at school for shouting out, not sitting still etc, classic actions which come from his above actions.

I'm due to go to a day course next month with the local ADHD/mental health team to learn new parenting skills to help him at home. I've also asked his new teacher for a meeting with her and the SENCO to see how badly he is behind in his school work (was told he was last term) and how to get him back up to his level.

Now do I tell him he has this condition? Would he be able to process and understand this?

So really its more of a WWYD?

Thanks

Buster, I don't think you're evil - I think that classroom experience is massively different to living with it and that teachers get nowhere near enough training about SNs.

There's nothing like having a child with an SN for highlighting all of your parenting flaws. It's heartbreaking how many parents say that they're glad to have an NT child to prove that they are actually good parents because they're so often made to feel like they're not.

As for the child using it as an excuse, well yes they probably will try to at some point - all children will try it, it's no different than a 4 year old saying they did something because they're little or a child doing something because they're unhappy that x happened, when you know full well they're not related. ADHD isn't about misbehaviour, it's about a set of behaviours that can lead to undesirable behaviour (especially in school where there's a large amount of being quiet and sitting still).

If a child and the teacher are both familiar with the behaviours, when a child says - I did x because of my ADHD, and you can say, no, no you didn't, ADHD makes it harder to/more likely to, but you then could have done xyz instead. It makes it easier to be able to say, yes I acknowledge that you have a difficulty in that area, but that doesn't excuse what you have just done. You then have a child that feels listened to, but still has to face the consequences. How is that a bad thing?

Hi there,

I think the key to whether or not you should tell him should be very simple - would knowing help your son? Does he want to know? As opposed to 'do I (parent) want to tell him, will it help me?'

I think you should wait, get your head around it, research different ways of telling, seek advice, observe your child, do you think knowing will help him.

Then prepare and tell him when you have time and are prepared for questions - of maybe he will ask no questions. You may also find you need to re-tell him several times as he may well not absorb it properly.

Good luck.

justabout you can believe what you like. My DS would have used his ADHD as an excuse to misbehave at school. You don't know my DS, and the nurse had no right to tell him without at least telling us first that was what he was going to do.

Knowing that he had an actual "condition" didn't really benefit him at that age, so there was no point in telling him. He is 21 now and obviously we would have told him when we considered he was old enough to deal with the information. Nothing to do with "not wanting an awkward conversation". What an incredibly stupid thing to say.

Hi My son is 8 and has just been diagnosed with ADD and has all of the same problems your child has with school even on medication with regards to telling him if you think he is ready tell him I sat mine down and explained he had it and thats why he couldnt sit down still or concentrate and to think of his brain as a computor that can short circuit lots because its too busy he laughed.
I wish I knew how to help him more and and am trying to find courses so i can support him better.

Ahem