To tell my son he has ADHD?

[HairyBeaver]

Hi my 6 year old son has just started year 2 at school and just been diagnoised with ADHD.

His main issues are with hyperactivity, impulsiveness and his major issue is lack of concentration. He has to have one to one teaching or he won't do any work as he goes off with the fairies.

His not a naughty boy and only gets into trouble at school for shouting out, not sitting still etc, classic actions which come from his above actions.

I'm due to go to a day course next month with the local ADHD/mental health team to learn new parenting skills to help him at home. I've also asked his new teacher for a meeting with her and the SENCO to see how badly he is behind in his school work (was told he was last term) and how to get him back up to his level.

Now do I tell him he has this condition? Would he be able to process and understand this?

So really its more of a WWYD?

Thanks

I have a DD with borderline ADHD/ADD shes not hyperactive but has the inattentive type she was given a book called Full of beans which really helped her understand how she was different, can't remember who wrote it though.

ASD and ADHD are not the same thing, but they share similarities. Whilst people with ADHD may have problems with social skills because of impulsivity etc, they don't have the social deficits that someone with ASD has. For ASD, the person has to have problems in 3 areas, social interaction, social communication, and rigidity of thought. This is called the triad of impairments and you can read about it here.

I think of all these conditions being like a massive venn diagram, so some bits of ASD will overlap with ADHD. My son also has Tourettes, and people with Tourettes are also more likely to have OCD and ADHD. My son doesn't have diagnosis of either of these, but definitely has traits of both. People with ASD are also more likely to have tics, but not necessarily enough to get a Tourettes diagnosis. But my son's tics are more than just ASD and he does have a diagnosis. People with ASD nearly always fit the diagnosis of dyspraxia too, but these days they rarely diagnose ASD people with dyspraxia separately, because it is considered part of ASD. Basically, all these conditions are just labels for a particular collection of symptoms/behaviours and some of them really overlap.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism

Autism is a disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. These signs all begin before a child is three years old.[2] Autism affects information processing in the brain by altering how nerve cells and their synapses connect and organize; how this occurs is not well understood.[3] It is one of three recognized disorders in the autism spectrum (ASDs), the other two being Asperger syndrome, which lacks delays in cognitive development and language, and Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified (commonly abbreviated as PDD-NOS), which is diagnosed when the full set of criteria for autism or Asperger syndrome are not met.[4]

I'm sorry - I'm not convinced. Even the head of the MHU (and one of the leading practitioners in the UK) where my OP is treated has said that they are still learning about this relatively new condition and while they believe it to be neurological, experts still cannot yet agree 100% on the causes of ADHD so I think we have to be very careful here.

I meant to say I'm not convinced by troisgarcons post

I agree with oneway, the venn diagram analogy is a good way of understanding this, OP

We where told it's a neurological condition caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain however it is treated by psychiatrists.

Thank you for the information regarding ADHD and ASD.

I've just ordered both those books from amazon and will pass them round to family as PIL and DH are sceptical that DS even has ADHD they think his just very bright and gets bored easily don't even get me started on that issue!

You can buy fiddle toys from ebay, I had a quick look last night and there was quite a few on there.

So will my DS be assessed for ASD/ODD/ADD too? At the moment I know he doesn't have OCD but I suppose that could develop in time.

Not necessarily it's children on the autistic spectrum that often have ADHD as well, DS is 17 was diagnosed as severe ADHD at 6 which we've always disputed he was assessed at 8 for autism and dismissed despite lots of traits he gets reassessed by adult team next month.

I have a meeting next month with the ADHD team and it states on the letter its the ADHD/mental health department. When I briefly googled the condition it did say it was physcological (sp?). Haven't googled a lot tbh as didn't want to scare myself

BusterGut - you are a teacher?

This is what we are up against!

Hairy, My DP had a assessment that covered every condition, even depression. I can't say for sure what your DSs assessments will cover, as it probably varies from hospital to hospital.

Good idea about passing books to the family sceptics. Everyone really needs to be on board with it.

And while its totally understandable, don't feel down about your child being different and potentially labelled. Once we had the diagnosis, medication and strategies in place, we are able to appreciate how the ADHD actually enhances our lives brings so many great qualities to my DPs personality and skills.

There is a website called Cheap Disability aids OP. Thats where I buy DS's fiddle toys from, or from Hawkins Bazaar and cheaper that ebay.

ADHD is one of the autistic spectrum co-morbidities, so its more common in children with ASD, but it can be a stand alone condition.

*Buster you are an idiot!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry but a teacher like you drove my son to his first suicide attempt. Your attitude towards children with SEN is the same one that nearly found my child dead. Get out of teaching or get informed.

My son's teacher had EXACTLY THE SAME ATTITUDE AS YOU and he was a thorough danger to chldren with SEN's. My son's teacher told me my son was being defiant and naughty, refusing to work, bringing me into show me the few lines written in his book in an afternoon.

He was about to be diagnosed with OCD and later ASD, at the time was being assessed. He got stuck on the dots in "i" and "j"s and had to do rituals to stop his Mum and cats from being dead by the the time he got home. It's what he believed would happen so was stuck and couldnt write because his mind was playing tricks on him. It was linked in to the Noahs' Ark story and a morbid fear of God. OCD

He knew he couldn't tell his teacher because his teacher like you thought he was "playing up" and he learned to hate every second he was in his classroom.

You seriously need to get informed or work out whether you could potentially harm children with SEN. This is not a bunfight on SN. I am furious, angry and serious.

OP I'd get comfortable with the whole thing yourself first before you tell your child so that you can explain everything. It was different for us as the OCD hit like a lightening strike out of nowhere and we just had to fumble through. The more confident you are about what it all means the more positive you can be.

I also googled famous successful people with OCD so it was helpful for me to be able to say "All the best people have it, David Beckham does" etc. so it's presented not just as the problems but the positives too.

With the ASD I focused on how he knew he had difficulties with certain things but it also meant he was honest, intelligent has a great memory, so that when the condition is presented you have loads of positives to throw in as your child will probably be aware of the difficulties already.

oh no - don't be convinced by me - I'm no expert at all - like many things, ADHD (and ASD) have much research and many opinions on them - most of them conflicting depending which camp you sit in. Similarly a parent will pick a study that best reflects their child.

I was told the easiest way to define the difference between neurological and pschological is with medication. Symptoms of Neurological disoders can be 'masked' (eg parkinsons disease) and psychological can be 'controlled' (eg schitzophrenia) - but neither can be 'cured'. Does that make sense? Probably not!

My 15 yr old dd has severe OCD which was diagnosed at 11.
I know that's much older than op's ds, but had she been formally diagnosed earlier, I would definitely have told her.
She went through primary school thinking she was stupid ( her concentration was poor due to her continual fears of every cough from a child turning into vomiting), wondering why she had to say 2 hour prayers from 5pm which meant she couldn't do tea or clubs like Brownies and not being able to go to parties because of her pathological fear of balloons.

It would have made a huge difference to her self esteem, knowing she wasn't a nutter ( the lovely phrase a child at school called her) and also having the teachers support. They thought she was a lovely girl but not high achieving. So well behaved but struggled with friends ( because she did not want them to see her compulsions)

She is now entering GCSE territory with excellent predictions especially in Spanish, PE, English and Drama. Life is not easy...we have many meltdowns and of course general teenage hormonal angst.
After a particular horrendous week away in the summer, we sat down for a long chat about yes we know you have OCD! But it is not an excuse for appalling behaviour. She knows the strategies for when she is feeling angry.....she has to put them in place.

I would not tell my son he is special like Granny.....just wired differently. Every child is different...op knows her own son and his level of understanding.

I've just ordered two doughnut rings and two bendy cowboys for DS from disability aids website. I think the doughnuts are a fab idea as they can go onto his wrist out of the way and fiddle when he needs to. Thanks for the suggestion

Wow. I have no experience of SN kids tbh, but I just wanted to say, loads of really inspiring stories from MNers here. I'm glad everyone's SN DCs are now getting all the help and support they need, but it saddens me greatly to see some very self-absorbed, bitter opinions are still being spouted by our country's teachers :(

ADHD can be a child's only problem, like your son, OP. And why you are being offered specialist parenting advice and support in school to ensure that it stays that way and he doesn't develop secondary 'handicaps' like low self-esteem, academic failure, depression/anxiety, or behaviour problems.

A lot of interesting, helpful posts here about ASC however this isn't your son's identified problem - so possibly a bit confusing for you?

IME ADHD is a developmental disorder not a psychiatric/psychological disorder eg eventually the concentration of children with ADHD catches up with their peers in early adulthood. All the causes are not yet known but in 60% of cases it seems to be inherited - parents can often point to someone else in the immediate family who is 'just like', the child in question which can understandably contribute to the denial.

Many children are seen in CAMHS as opposed to Community/developmental Paediatrics for diagnosis and treatment depending on organisation of local services and professional expertise and resources. In Europe, Neurologists are most commonly involved but their training has much in common with paediatricians and child psychiatrists here.

Thank you snow, a few weeks ago I didn't (and still don't tbh) know much about SN. I have a lot of research to do

Fargate, yes my son is under CAMHS and has had no hospital visits, a school doctor came out to interview me and my son, then his teacher and myself had to fill out a lengthy survay.

It is confusing but tbh I feel alot more enpowered today by reading other peoples posts and knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and my son won't grow up damaged or a failure.

The schools main concern for ds atm is that he has fallen behind and want to nip it in the bud before further decline and also his confidence to be boosted.

I'm not sure if I had this as a child as I suppose it wasn't "officially around" back then, but I do remember I wasn't allowed certain foods as they sent me through the roof and I was quite a naughty child and had to see child psychiatrics (sp) but not sure why I had to see them and my mum can't remember either

It doesn't sound like your own experience of child psychiatrists was massively helpful! things have moved on greatly since the early 90's once it was accepted that it wasn't only american children effected.

I wasn't being mean about parents posting about other conditions just trying to focus on ADHD which is still very misunderstood in some quarters.

It's really good that the school is on your side with DD2 we had to fight them, eventually we went to dr with her school just thought we where saying she was like DS. Who only went to MS for 18 months.

here is the website I was talking about earlier OP