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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is the daftest word you use to avoid swearing?

77 replies

joannita · 09/09/2011 21:12

I thought my swear filter was shit hot (I used to be a teacher) turns out it's just shit! Am trying hard not to swear in front of ds who is 20 months and copies everything I say! Just wondered what words you use instead of swearwords...

I like "sugar butties" instead of shit

Haven't come up with anything satisfying instead of fuck.

Ha ha that sounds terrible!

OP posts:
IsSamNormansDad · 09/09/2011 21:17

we use bumfluff, poopsticks, Falkirk (usually for fuck) and sweaty (for bollocks)
hth
Grin

Meglet · 09/09/2011 21:19

'flapjacks'

It's quite satisfying actually.

Original poster
joannita · 09/09/2011 21:21

I'll try it Meglet

OP posts:
Original poster
joannita · 09/09/2011 21:22

I like bumcheeks! too

OP posts:
BitzerMaloneyAllSkinnyAndBony · 09/09/2011 21:22

I need to learn some too.

I dropped something in front of the DC earlier and was trying so hard not to say 'shit' that I said 'fuck'.

Confused
takethisonehereforastart · 09/09/2011 21:22

Oh, coconuts! Thanks to Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

Original poster
joannita · 09/09/2011 21:23

That's pretty funny Bitzer!

OP posts:
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 09/09/2011 21:24

Sugar's still a substitute for shit in my home.

There isn't anything as satisfying as fuck. When dc were small I tried to say said flick when occasion arose.

planetpotty · 09/09/2011 21:24

Mother flippers!!

Original poster
joannita · 09/09/2011 21:24

They have some pretty good ones on Chuggington - Oh Bumpers! etc

OP posts:
kellimay · 09/09/2011 21:25

Haha! I used to over indulge on the 'F' word forgetting sometimes how quickly my dd picked things up, that was untill she repeated it.....I got my inspiration from Fifi & the flower tots, so fuck has now been replaced with 'Fiddley flower petals'!

Bollocks is now bongo's
Shit is now shish kebab....no, i dont eat kebabs....
Crap is now crackers
Wanker is now winkle picker
Twat is now twot

I cant think of any more which is absurd as i use them daily!!

InWithTheITCrowd · 09/09/2011 21:26

Fliptish.

Original poster
joannita · 09/09/2011 21:27

Wow that's quite an extensive vocabulary kellimay

OP posts:
PortBlacksandPort · 09/09/2011 21:27

Titsalinabumsquash Grin Blush - i use this now (although my DSs are old enough to cope with this)....

....hope you don't mind Titsa.....

cleanteeth · 09/09/2011 21:28

Shibobbple for Shit!

TheSkiingGardener · 09/09/2011 21:28

Oh Flibertigibert.

Very satisfying.

Or a quick declamation, with hands raised skywards and eyes rolling backwards of "My Path Is Strewn With Cowpats From The Devils Own Satanic Herd"

Very satisfying and the situation is usually over and done with y the time you've finished.

WhiteTrash · 09/09/2011 21:29

Fiddle sticks - fuck.
Sugar - shit.
For ducks cake - for fuck sake.
Oh frig it - oh fuck it - not such a good alternative!

kellimay · 09/09/2011 21:29

Haha, there are more....pumping pistons courtesy of Thomas! I like oh coconuts from jake & the neverland pirates too.
I had to adapt quite quickly, maybe i should stop swearing so much? lol

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/09/2011 21:33

Shazbat substitutes for shit, Fardles for fuck. No idea where I picked these up from.

BeerTricksPotter · 09/09/2011 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dearprudence · 09/09/2011 21:35

For flips sake.

Oh, bumfaces (don't know why but I say this a lot).

browneyesblue · 09/09/2011 21:36

Bobbins is a favourite here - gets used a lot

tattychicken · 09/09/2011 21:36

'Frogs fat flaps' for fuck....what flaps I am referring to I have no idea...

JarethTheGoblinKing · 09/09/2011 22:48

Spogging effing wroggits.

dirtydishesmakemesad · 09/09/2011 22:49

i just say "oh pickles"