to allow my baby to hurt herself?

[ThroughTheRoundWindow]

Now, before you all start phoning social services I'm not sitting her at the top of the stairs with a pile of razor blades and letting her do what she will! All I mean is that occasionally I let her play with things (under supervision) which aren't strictly toys and allow her to find out what it can do.

For example yesterday she found an elastic band on the floor. She chewed it and pulled at it happily for 10 minutes before the inevitable happened and it twanged back and hit her in the face. It hurt, she cried, I gave her a hug and less than a minute later she was fine again. She never let go of the elastic band and as soon as I put her down again she started playing with it again. She didn't twang herself in the face again though.

To me this seems ok but I go to a baby group where the Mum's go through the treasure baskets and take out anything they consider might pose a risk (keys too sharp, stick too pointy, pine cone too fragile) and only let the baby touch the really smooth, really boring objects. Always one to doubt myself I do see this and sometimes wonder if I am a bit lassez-faire with my child's safety? And I dread to think what these women would do if they saw my baby at home allowed to eat small food items and chew toys that aren't 100% clean.

To me it is important to let her explore freely, but even more it is important that I trust her to explore. If I can't let her chew and elastic band now, how on earth am I going to let her ride a bike or walk to the shops on her own or any of the 1,000,000 more risky things she needs to do in order to grow up?

Is this reasonable or should I be taking more care?

I pretty much let dd do what she likes but keep her close in case of emergency. she pulls herself falls back gets up done it again.

Totally agree about doors and choking hazards. I just doubt the choking hazardiness of a rubberband, especially with an adult right next to the baby.

But surely the only benefit of letting a child hurt themselves is so they learn not to do it again. How old is the baby in the OP?

Small ball of rubber could easily be a chocking hazard Widow.

[ignores most of thread]

There are people who won't let their DC play with keys? Really??

Wow. DS (12m) loves my car keys. They keep him occupied for a whole 10 minutes sometimes

I think the trouble with the letting a baby chew and elastic band is that, depending on the size of it, it could be a very real choking risk, so it is a good idea to teach them that , chewing them is not a good thing, in the same way that letting them explore carrier bags by putting them on their head is not a good thing. It may be fine for them to do it while we are watching them, and making sure nothing bad happens, but it isn't a very consistent lesson, if we do';t want them to play with these things when we aren't there.

sorry, don't

YANBU

I don't think babies should be playing with sharp, or as you put it, pointy objects, or things which could easily disintegrate and pose a choking risk.That is not being precious, just responsible!!

I'd rather keep chucking hazards/sharp objects , things they could hurt themselves with out of the way as much as possible when their babies

I think it's abit mean to let a baby play with an elastic band when you know the chances are they will twang themselves in the face. I'd rather wait till I can warn them that if they keep doing it they could get hurt.

DS ended up in hopsital recently after having swallowed a coin, he is three. OP watch carefully, as it is a choking hazard.

I don't see the point of letting babies play with something they could choke on when there are so many better things they could be playing with. We've always taken away small items that they were going to put in their mouths and I wouldn't let them play with plastic bags, we explain to them why they shouldn't play with them, with a baby I'd just tell them no, you mustn't okay with that and give them something else.

What has happened to MN? Why is there this constant need to 'attack' the parents of SN children all of a sudden in such a cruel blatant way? This is new and the people doing so need a good long look at themselves

elastic band = choking risk

Are you after a Darwin Award By Proxy or something?

Oh ffs there are some fucking twats on this thread. I've heard about this but it's the first time I've seen it with my own eyes on MN.

As to the point of the OP, I'm fairly laid back, but an elastic band could get stuck in the throat SO easily.

Well said noddy

"unspecialneedsy"

I have fucking heard it all now.

I don't know what's wrong with people on here lately, this is the third thread I've read today where people have said stupid cruel or ignorant things regarding sn children or their parents

If you don't know the terminology why nit just say I child that doesn't have special needs. "unspecialneedsy" ffs

Not - nit bloody phone

Fanjo don't you dare go anywhere There are a lot of twats about at the moment, but if everyone sane & lovely leaves it will just get worse & worse - we need to dig our heels in and tell them to fuck right off. I'd miss you if you left - please don't go on account of a bunch of fuckwits.

OP - I agree with your general sentiment for toddlers up - but not with letting them play with rubber bands and not babies.

YANBU, the mothers who take things out of the baskets at baby group need some help, I think you should make sure the person in charge is aware of this. If nothing is done about them, write a formal complaint that this behaviour is allowed. The stuff in the treasure baskets is put their for babies to explore.

There is a big difference though in letting a baby play with a rubber band while you are watching and letting a baby play with a rubber band in her cot. You did say quite clearly 'under supervision' in your OP.

How will you let her ride a bike on her own? If you want to be overprotective you can put those stabiliser wheels on and set them to the ground so it is in effect a 4 wheeler, claim she can ride a bike, get her bigger bikes with the same set up then one day wonder why she doesn't understand how to balance.

Some people get round the shops thing by never letting their children go on their own until they are old enough to leave home.

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread (is that a sin and dangerous too?). I would recommend some great books for those interested in childhood risks:

Toxic Childhood - How the modern world is damaging our children and what we can do about it - by Sue Palmer
and
No Fear - Growing up in a risk averse society - by Tim Gill

I do suspect you should be taking more care though, try to avoid those Mums who remove stuff from treasure baskets, you might come across them again when your baby starts school (they may become the PTA or campaign to remove dangerous climbing equipment from schools so the children can sit inside and safely watch Disney videos instead). When it comes to deciding on schools, watch these mums and run from them.

TastyMuffins, are you being sarcastic, I can't tell?

Tasty Muffins there is a middle ground between not letting young babies play with things they can choke on when 3 quarters of fatal choking victims are under 3 (quite a lot considering MOST parents keep choking hazards away from babies) and not allowing older children on climbing equipment.

And for what it's worth my first bike had stabilisers - my next bike didn't. But obviously my mum should have sat me on a bike with no stabilisers at 6 months old so I could learn and experience