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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel sorry for the people who spend half their lives on mumsnet?

476 replies

destinationzero · 09/09/2011 12:27

I lurk a bit at work ( prenteding to be busy, saves me making the tea ) and have started the odd thread here and there seeking advice, BuT my god I feel sorry for the posters who are on here day in day out for hours.
I know some people are socially isolated and I'm sure they get a lot from mumsnet, but it is rather sad when it becomes your main source of adult interaction, and by choice for many I imagin. I know mumsnet has one million members, but it's always the same names coming up in active conversations. These forums should be a place where you drop into now and then, not somewhere you rely on for friendship.

AIBU ?

OP posts:
SayCoolNowSayWhip · 09/09/2011 20:56

this is SayCool's DD. I've snuck out of bed to use her computer because I'm sooooo deprived. She's on MN all day and I haven't been fed, washed, changed, cuddled, told stories, played games with, bought presents, kept warm and safe, had my every whim pandered to.... Oh wait, yes I have.

tralalala · 09/09/2011 20:58

Not talking about those that go on for a bit whilst kids are asleep/at school/ but those plug in all day half engaged whilst looking after their little kids.

Look at parents in the park who are always on the mobile and their toddlers trying to get their attention. They either give up or misbehave.

I've definatley been there when I was ill (longterm) and looking after toddlers and learnt from experience that it upsets them (and me),

And being plugged in for hours every day as some are just isn't mentally healthy just as doing anything in excess be it exercise/work/looking after kids in excess isn't good for you.

But as always on these threads people get overly defensive.

SarahStratton · 09/09/2011 20:59

I don't have any small children in my care.

tralalala · 09/09/2011 20:59

lissielou - asleep!

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 09/09/2011 21:02

But tralala, how do you know that people are plugged in for half the day? Do you look at all posts by a poster and compare time stamps? How do you know their situation at all?

OracleInaCoracle · 09/09/2011 21:06

You mean you've left them alone?

Seriously, its possible to mn frequently and still be a good parent. Ds likes playing by himself. If I try to do crafty stuff, or baking, or even play with him he isn't interested. All that means is that he is self-sufficient and mature, I don't mn at the park, or while I am playing with him. I'm not being defensive, I am just not just ds's mummy. That's why the "poor children" preaching pisses me off.

OracleInaCoracle · 09/09/2011 21:06

You mean you've left them alone?

Seriously, its possible to mn frequently and still be a good parent. Ds likes playing by himself. If I try to do crafty stuff, or baking, or even play with him he isn't interested. All that means is that he is self-sufficient and mature, I don't mn at the park, or while I am playing with him. I'm not being defensive, I am just not just ds's mummy. That's why the "poor children" preaching pisses me off.

tralalala · 09/09/2011 21:06

come on saycool...some people definatley are I've been on here over 5 years and some people are on here all day, by no means most but some.

BeerTricksPotter · 09/09/2011 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 09/09/2011 21:11

But if you read through the thread you'll see that for instance, a lot of people work from home and have it open as a side window. Or people on a smart phone. I'm sure none of these people are neglecting their children. How can you possibly make an assumption like that?

SarahStratton · 09/09/2011 21:13

Probably it looks like I've been on here all day. I have, on and off. But I've also managed to make 2 cakes for my DSis and a friend. And deliver them, a round trip of 35 miles. Plus cake for us. Clean the house, do some gardening, do the school run, and make dinner.

OracleInaCoracle · 09/09/2011 21:15

I probably look like I'm here more often than I am. I mn from my phone, so I browse TIO, or active convos, post then log off again.

OracleInaCoracle · 09/09/2011 21:15

I probably look like I'm here more often than I am. I mn from my phone, so I browse TIO, or active convos, post then log off again.

tralalala · 09/09/2011 21:15

lissie - don't worry I'm in their bedroom using ultraviolet lighting - I'm no means suggesting a parent should spend all day engaging with their kids: they would go slowly insane, and I love MN but some people are wasting their lives on here and it is impeding their parenting.

I know a very prolific poster in RL and they are so often uploading shite to FB or posting on here at playgroup/in the park/in the school run,and I can see the effect on their kids.

SuePurblybilt · 09/09/2011 21:16

Me too, on and off. I've also de-cluttered my kitchen cupboards, walked the dog, done the housework, painted one coat in the kitchen, cooked dinner, done the school run and all the rest I won't bore you with. DD is at school now and I'm not back at work until next week. It's raining. What else should i be doing? Watching soaps?

NeverKnowinglyUnderDoug · 09/09/2011 21:16

Well I'm not defensive as I do neglect my children.

I'm hoping that a mixture of neglect, nursery and possibly a catastrophic accident involving a vat of toxic waste will turn them into Evil Meglomaniacs who rule the world but are lovely to their mum.

BeerTricksPotter · 09/09/2011 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OracleInaCoracle · 09/09/2011 21:17

And of course there's the twatphone multi-post

OracleInaCoracle · 09/09/2011 21:17

And of course there's the twatphone multi-post

BecauseImWorthIt · 09/09/2011 21:17

I am not wasting my life on here. MN has enhanced my life in many ways that you simply wouldn't understand.

It is in no way impeding my parenting and I so, so, so resent you for that accusation.

BeerTricksPotter · 09/09/2011 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuePurblybilt · 09/09/2011 21:20

I also skim read, hide all the serious topics and only post on about five threads a day. So it may look as if I'm all over MN - not at all.

That's effective, streamlined Mnetting, that is. Slick like a greased walrus.

UrsulaBuffayHere2Help · 09/09/2011 21:21

I don't MN when I'm ignoring DD, I'm usually on Mailonline

OracleInaCoracle · 09/09/2011 21:22

but some people are wasting their lives on here and it is impeding their parenting

How dare you? Seriously, how the fuck do you know how internet strangers' posting habits affects their parenting? You don't know what my parenting is like. Or sue's, or beertricks, or anyone elses. What makes you a superior parent to your "friend"? Jesus!

OracleInaCoracle · 09/09/2011 21:22

but some people are wasting their lives on here and it is impeding their parenting

How dare you? Seriously, how the fuck do you know how internet strangers' posting habits affects their parenting? You don't know what my parenting is like. Or sue's, or beertricks, or anyone elses. What makes you a superior parent to your "friend"? Jesus!