To hate the cliquey vomit-inducing threads on MN?

[HamsterzBollox]

Because they put me right off the whole of MN .

Maybe it's because I don't generally use MN for 'chatting'; more for getting advice and opinions on parenting issues, health issues, etc (have namechanged btw as am a longstanding and cowardly MNer). But I do click on 'most active' when I come on here to see what's going on, and the clique arse-kissing and 'in' jokes between some MNers make me cringe and really put me off the site. It's like the school playground mum cliques but worse - because at least there the people really do know each other.

And yes I know threads about a thread are against MN rules blah blah but I wanted to moan about and am happy to be slated for doing so - so there

I just think some MNers should get over themselves and go off and start a new 'love-in' site somewhere else. The End.

Cereal makes good points. And when you do inadvertently gatecrash, you feel like you've been trying to play with the big girls and then you feel like a prat for having tried to do so. For the socially inept, it's daunting (Cereal - that's me, not you, OK?).

I dunno what I think - on the one hand they're obviously nice threads - nice people having a laugh. Fair enough - they have the stamina and the interest and the time and commitment to a group of online people that I just can't find. That's my issue, not theirs. But some days I click on Active Convos and see Thread Killers, Nobdies, Shineys, whatever else and think "WTF must a newbie make of this?". It doesn't seem very inclusive.

It wasn't a cod reference, Georgimama - it was the first fish that came to mind when I wanted one to suggest for face-slapping purposes.

Haddock wasn't a reference to anything in particular btw.

Cereal until this thread was started there was no history of fucking ducks. Some people here are in different quiches some aren't....most people, myself included have dived in.

After a while you tend to realise you keep running into the same people anyway, hence you come across as cliquey if you know a little about the other person.

In RL if you go up to a group of people who don't throw a hissy fit because they have talked to each other before, so why should a chat forum be any different?

And it's true about Georgiemama talking shite and me for that matter

Don't go SDTG, someone's got to revive the haddock.

Hassled, I was a newbie and just dived straight in.

It's great if you are socially inept as if you are ignored you don't have to stand around looking daft....you just flit to the next interesting conversation. MN has always been like that. MN gets new members daily...it can't be that bad?

Honeydragon - I am so socially inept that I've been here since 2006 without ever joining a clique for more than about a week :o. Surely there's some award for that? I'm thinking a fridge-freezer, maybe.

I dont find the cliquey threads Nobdies, Threadkillers etc irritating, but I am slightly bemused at all these people who seem to spend so much time building these threads, and then starting them all over again. I dont feel left out, i dont join in them as i have skimmed over them and don't really "get" them, but i do tend to think some of the more frequent and prolific members of these particular threads maybe out to get out a bit more.

Maybe "ought" to get out a bit more I meant!

I felt like a newbie for ages and then realised I was just lurking without joining in. Once I started actually talking I felt more at home. I don't get half the 'in' jokes and am as socially inept as they come but I don't cry myself to sleep if the other posters on a thread haven't each addressed me personally

You're absolutely right, Irishchic - at least as far as I am concerned. I use mumsnet as my interaction with the world because I'm not very good at getting out and meeting people in r/l (depression). It's an easy way of finding intelligent and witty discussions without having to get out of my fluffy dressing gown.

Yes but you are a regularly friendly face. What I like about MN is that I can have a real disagreement / debate with someone on one subject and then agreeing with wholeheartedly on another.

Mumsnet is a great place for the socially inept. It is not good for people who aren't well rounded.

I find the people who complain loudly about persecution, royalty and bullying, generally don't see the bigger picture. They post a statement and then are genuinely appalled when people disagree with it. They don't wan't to live and let live, they want everyone to be like them.

I like Mumsnet, all of it...the bits I don't favour I don't bother with.

'It's an easy way of finding intelligent and witty discussions'

I just want to mention the haddock slapping, oh and the duck fucking....

Irishchic

I get what you mean, but I work from home, a lot of other people who post are alone in offices or shops to. For us this is our workplace banter. I still have a place and live in the RL world, or I'd have cock all to talk about on here

Mumsnet is a self serving device, you'll only get out what you need

SDTG - I find MN absolutely fascinating and full of very interesting and informative posters, many of whom have helped me through some tough times, I couldnt do without MN.

Threadkillers, Nobdies etc just do it for me, but obviously does for others, I dont get it at all, but its not doing any harm and I certainly dont think it makes others feel excluded, MN is a very "broad Church" so to speak!

It all depends..

Some people see the duck fucking nonsense, laugh delightedly and jump right in, AND ARE WELCOMED, and others quiver and think, ooer I don't understand, it's not for me, and feel excluded.

Tis all in the eye of the beholder

"just dont to it for me" God darn it i havent even had my glass of wine yet!

God, when I first ventured out of lone parents I basically was roundly accused of having my trousers round my ankles and being a massive perv. It was quite upsetting... but I stuck it out, took the piss out of myself and eventually made some friends who I chat with in OTBT doing no one any harm. And in fact anyone who's turned up to join has been welcomed.

I'd say the 'cliques' can actually be more friendly than the rest of MN as long as you're not a nutter or a stalker.

You can't fault people for having friends.

"you are a regularly friendly face". Kinder words have never been typed. I am at peace again with MN and the world.

God no that sounded all sarky, didn't it? It wasn't meant to. Did I mention the social ineptitude?

I'm too lazy to read through the entire thread but did the OP ever come back to elaborate on her point??

she did, but she gave up on pg 7

:o

What Hully said. From the outside it all looks cliquey but it's not really. And as MrG said, anyone's welcome to join a group, there aren't any rules.

Now I want a snog from someone!