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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

childcare costs

216 replies

splashymcsplash · 06/09/2011 16:34

This is something that has been brought up time and time again.. childcare costs are very expensive, especially in London/SE.

AIBU to ask you to sign this e-petition so maybe, just maybe, something could be done about it?

OP posts:
diyvspse · 07/09/2011 13:30

What about flexibility when it comes to work. I think part of the answer to high childcare costs is to ensure that flexible working is a real option, so that people who want to be around more to care for their own children can do it and don't have to outsource it in order to stay in the workforce.

pommedechocolat · 07/09/2011 13:31

I'd like to know what services people would like to see cuts in in order to fund nursery subsidies for pre-schoolers?

The NHS? The police? Schooling?

We all make our choices and the overwhelming majority of us have a lot less extras post dc!

ChippingIn · 07/09/2011 13:35

Edith - how much less than £5 an hour would you like to pay someone to look after you child?

SardineQueen · 07/09/2011 13:35

People who can't afford childcare in london should move away?

Away from friends, the grandparents, other family, and not least of all away from where most of the jobs are?

Yes that makes perfect sense.

People come up with some really odd "solutions" on here sometimes!

OP you haven't posted a link to your petition. It is true that in many countries across europe childcare is much more affordable, subsidised, taken from pre-tax earnings etc etc. There must be something they can do. Driving women back into the home is of course an ideological aim of the tories so they're not likely to so it though.

SardineQueen · 07/09/2011 13:37

pommed - the army, trident, that sort of thing.

MilaMae · 07/09/2011 13:40

Sardine my dp's family are all in the London area and we survive. Newsflash the world doesn't begin and end in London,there are jobs elsewhere and given the fact houses are cheaper(and quite clearly childcare too) financially many families would probably not notice the difference of a smaller salary.

Many people live in the London area because they like it and want to which is great but not sure why the tax payer has to pick up the tab for childcare because parents aren't prepared to move.

pommedechocolat · 07/09/2011 13:41

If cuts are made from any place I would rather they went back into the NHS, the police, schooling etc. Not funding childcare for 2 parents working.

In not funding pre-school the Tories are not driving women back into the house. They are asking families to take responsability for pro-creating which noone forces them to do and which society doesn't need them to do.

dreamingbohemian · 07/09/2011 13:41

I would like to see massive defence cuts, especially as there is no political will left in the UK for overseas interventions.

I would like to see an austerity Olympics, not the garish show they are still trying to do.

I would like to see banker bonuses clawed back.

I would like to see less spent on the royal family, who can surely pay their own way.

That's a start at least. Other countries can manage it, why not the UK? It's all about priorities.

You should also think of the money saved by more people working and paying taxes, less people needing benefits, and perhaps fewer costs to business in having to replace and retrain people due to long absences from the workplace.

Original poster
splashymcsplash · 07/09/2011 13:41

MilaMae, I would move out of London if I could, but it won't be possible for the next two years. Plus at least I have family support here. I don't want to go into my personal situation too much because it isn't relevent. I understand that part of the inflated cost is due to increased cost in London, but let's not forget that nurseries are business and are there to make a profit. (Unless of course they are non-profit)

I'm not even necessarily talking about nursery subsidies. Creating good state-run, not for profit nurseries would go a long way to making childcare more affordable. Yes there are council nurseries, but they are few and far between, and the ones local to here are very poorly managed.

As far as I know the UK is rather unique in having such expensive childcare. Talking to relatives abroad they are shocked by the cost of nursery over here.

OP posts:
VoluptuaGoodshag · 07/09/2011 13:47

What price a child's love? Or is it that we don't want to admit that looking after children is tiring, thankless, boring etc. etc. so we'd much rather pay someone else to do it. All these people moaning about having to stay at home because they cannot 'afford' to go to work are just pissed off because they are now going to have to look after their own kids themselves.
Like I said before kids don't ask to be born, we choose to have them. Why some people choose to have them is beyond me though!

Original poster
splashymcsplash · 07/09/2011 13:55

SardineQueen Apologies, I posted this by accident before I had finished typing, here is the link:

e-petition

Dreamingbohemian I do agree, it is about priorities! Families and children are prioritised far more highly in many other countries.

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 07/09/2011 13:59

Voluptua, you are making some frankly horrible assumptions about people on this thread. I assure you that not everyone who uses childcare is just trying to get out of having to care for their children, what a horrible thing to think.

joben · 07/09/2011 14:06

I often wondered if there should be a student loan type arrangement for childcare fees, which allows parents to borrow money from the govmt either to pay CC fess or work less hours/SAH, which they pay back in installments once their DC are in full time ed. I gave up my job as a teacher once my second DS was born due to high CC fees/choosing to be at home. We were skint for 3 years. Now that my two DS are in secondary school, they no longer need/want me around all the time, I'm back in FT work and have more income. Perhaps parents would have more choice (SAH/work PT/work FT) if they could delay the cost of childcare until their DCs were in school.

Original poster
splashymcsplash · 07/09/2011 14:07

Voluptua - just because I am poor does not make me a bad mother. Nor does it mean that my dd is any less loved. I find that quite frankly insulting and rediculous.

OP posts:
WidowWadman · 07/09/2011 14:07

FFS, why does this have to be made into a SAHM vs WOHM thread? And why do you suggest someone should childmind if you have so much contempt for people who use childminders' services?

Also, what's wrong with doing a good job in a career you enjoy, rather doing a less good job being full time at home - doesn't have anything to do with how much you love your children. Doesn't mean you look down at those who rather stay at home. Just means staying at home full time is not for you.

As for just doing an evening job stacking shelves at Tesco's - that might get help some money in, but does nothing for long term employability, keeping skills up to scratch, making use of the skills he's already got or his degree, let alone is it good for his mental health. (But I hear you already, that of course nobody should depend on a job they enjoy doing and in which they feel challenged for their mental health. Better stay at home and enjoy precious moments and not outsource their childcare.)

I still maintain that it makes economically no sense to force people who want to work in a qualified role into unemployment because the childcare costs are too high - if the same help they would receive as a single earner low-ish income household would go towards helping with childcare to enable both of them to work you'd get tax revenue from their working plus tax revenue from the childcare provider.

pommedechocolat · 07/09/2011 14:09

joben - I think that is by far and away the best idea on this thread.

pommedechocolat · 07/09/2011 14:09

Also nice to hear that at some point in your life having money is possible again!

MilaMae · 07/09/2011 14:10

I fail to see how providing cheap childcare at the tax payers expense is prioritising families.Hmm

Many parents look after their kids themselves,many parents work but would rather look after their kids themselves,many parents just get along with making sacrifices and paying for childcare without moaning.

Putting up taxes or sheering money off other services in order to fund cheap childcare only prioritises parents who want kids but not the change in lifestyle that raising young children brings.

Balsam · 07/09/2011 14:10

I do think it's sad that some mothers feel a nursery can do a better job at looking after their children than they can.

soverylucky · 07/09/2011 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pommedechocolat · 07/09/2011 14:12

Balsam - Agreed. I think there's a pervasive competitiveness now around activities and crafting and sessions and classes and being lovely all the time. I think all the sahms in our mums generation just got on and did and were natural and all was fine.
My dd goes to nursery 2 days a week and has a great time. It is different but in no way better than the 3 days she spends with me.

WidowWadman · 07/09/2011 14:13

joben - that sounds like a good idea to me.

MilaMae - do you actually show the parents of your mindees how much contempt you have for them and that you think the children would be better of at home than being looked after by you, providing you with income? Also, how many mindees do you have since you claim that you earn below minimum wage at £4 per hour per mindee?

MilaMae · 07/09/2011 14:13

Joben that is a very good idea.

Widow have the kids and the career just pay for the childcare without moaning or expecting others to fund it.

KeepTheChange · 07/09/2011 14:15

People don't think that Balsam!

How silly you sound.

fanjobanjowanjo · 07/09/2011 14:16

Why do people keep having kids (ie they have two they can just afford but go ahead and have another anyway) if they can't afford the care for them? Is there no long term thought process going in?