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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to spend nearly £350 on a soft play party for a 3yr old?

127 replies

choceyes · 06/09/2011 11:40

DH thinks so.

DS will be 3 in November and I realy want to have a proper party for him, but our house is too small to accomodate 15 toddlers and their parents (whose house is??).

I want to do a soft play party and it is going to cost £341 for 15 children and 30 adults, inclusive of food, party bags, 2hr of soft play etc. Nothing for us to do but turn up.

Is this a normal price for a party like this? DH thinks we can't afford it. Well money is tight as we pay nearly a grand a month for childcare for two DCs and I only work 3 days a week, so we don't have much spare money.
But DS is invited to a few parties like this and we've never done anything like this. HAd a party at home for his 1st birthday, which was fine, but the kids were a lot younger and more easily entertained.

So AIBU for spending a small fortune on a party for my 3yr old when money is tight, and is it worth it?

OP posts:

Carrotsandcelery · 06/09/2011 11:42

Personally I think it is a lot of money for a party. Your ds won't remember it. There is a high chance he will actually find it overwhelming too. I would downsize quite considerably tbh, especially if finances are tight.

BimboNo5 · 06/09/2011 11:42

Hold on hold on, why 30 adults? (mind is boggling here)

And its not a normal price imo, its a rip off. And if money is tight you are even more crazy.

lazylula · 06/09/2011 11:42

I wouldn't spend tthat much so yes I think yyou are being U, especially as you say money is tight.

MrsRobertDuvall · 06/09/2011 11:42

You are mad.
If you would struggle to pay for it, why would you do it to keep up with everyone else?
Have a little party with 5 of his friends.
Save the money for Christmas.

StrandedBear · 06/09/2011 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

webwiz · 06/09/2011 11:43

yabu and slightly mad - three year olds don't even need parties. Save it for when he's a bit older and when you don't need to pay for 30 adults.

SenoritaViva · 06/09/2011 11:44

I wouldn't spend that kind of money on a party tbh. Also 3 is still quite young, 4 or 5 is much more exciting. Also I wouldn't worry that my DD (who is 4) had been asked to parties like that.

BimboNo5 · 06/09/2011 11:44

Why dont you hire a local community centre/church hall and a bouncy castle, put a bit of food on. Would be far cheaper.

going · 06/09/2011 11:45

I have never paid that much for a party and two of mine have had really big ones.

Whay does it cost so much, soft play parties are usually £10 per head and you only pay for kids!

worraliberty · 06/09/2011 11:45

Why are you catering for adults at all?

WhoWhoWhoWho · 06/09/2011 11:45

That is a LOT of money! (well it is to me anyway).

DS had a party at one of our local soft play places once and they offered a 'breakfast party' 9:30-11:30 which was cheaper and I thought was ideal for younger kids rather than having them all hyped up for the day. Could you shop around and see what other parties are on offer in your area?

If you don't have the space at home for a big party why not just have a small tea party? Have you looked into hiring a hall and a bouncy castle and either doing a buffet yourself or paying someone local to cater? Or our local council run swimming pools have swimming parties or soft play parties slightly cheaper than the soft play places.

PandaG · 06/09/2011 11:47

that does sound very expensive to me, especially if money is tight. I have only done one soft play party for one of my children, but I split it with a friend. We had about 15 children (6 yos), and it cost around £160 for a play, food and simple party bags (so about £80 for me). I didn't have to pay anything for the adults, though I probably bought a round of coffees too, so maybe another £20.

If you can easily afford it, then fine, but I think if money were tight I would not want to spend that much. (my DC are now 9 and 11, most I';ve ever spent on a party is about £110 all in)

MmeLindor. · 06/09/2011 11:47

Yes, you are mad.

Ok, if you have loads of money and can afford it, but not when money is tight. You could have a weekend away with your family for that kind of money.

If you do soft play, then you pay for the kids, and don't invite 15 kids. 5 or 6 is plenty.

psiloveyou · 06/09/2011 11:48

Yes YABU. I have never been to a party where the host has paid for parents. My 4 year old just had a soft play party for 10 which cost £100. The parents dropped their LOs off and went. The one that stayed didn't get charged. If she had been I would have expected her to pay for herself.

If money is tight why not just have a few close friends to your house for a tea party.

slavetofilofax · 06/09/2011 11:51

If money is tight, yabu. But if you could afford it, I think it's fine to spend that much. That is what these parties cost.

I'd maybe think about saving it until he's four though, kids love talking about their parties at nursery and they look forward to it so much, it's about more than just a couple of hours at soft play. He would have more chance of remembering it at four too.

Would hiring a hall and an entertainer work out any cheaper? I know you would have to put a lot more effort in to do the food and clearing the hall, but it would still provide the excitement that you are looking for.

BimboNo5 · 06/09/2011 11:52

Why would both parents of each child come anyway? Is this another MN custom ive missed out on? Both parents of pfb going to soft play party, looking lovingly into each others eyes as pfb takes a bite out of someone elses pfb's arm...

create · 06/09/2011 11:53

Why are 30 adults included? if you're having a 3yo's party you must not don't need to cater for adults. We don't want a precedent set

If money is tight then a 3yo's party is really the least important thing to spend it on. I did "proper" parties when my DCs were small (not £300+ though) because I felt I should. Really I shouldn't have. they don;t remember the early ones and it made no difference at all to thier friends/social standing.

The best parties for 3yos are 2-3 children for tea with balloons and a bubble machine

BimboNo5 · 06/09/2011 11:53

That is what these parties cost? WTF, where? Hollywood?
My DD has had whole class parties before and they have never ever cost anywhere near that!

MmeLindor. · 06/09/2011 11:53

Bimbo
You are making me laugh today. Are you new to MN or a namechanger?

NestaFiesta · 06/09/2011 11:53

YABU. For his third birthday, DS went to the zoo. He only has vague memories of it so I'm glad it didn't cost us £350.

Original poster

choceyes · 06/09/2011 11:54

It's not including food for adults. And I thought 30 adults because both parents would accompany a 3yr old and probably a younger child in some cases.

hhmmm, yes it does sounds mad doesn't it. And I don't get why it's not about £10 a kid either as that's what their website says, but when I asked for a quotation for 15 toddlers and there will prob be 30 adults accompanying them, that's the price they quoted.

How much till to cost to hire a bouncy castle? And that's not enough is it...what about other toys/games etc?

OP posts:

RedOnion · 06/09/2011 11:54

Oh Bimbo you really do make me laugh

BimboNo5 · 06/09/2011 11:55

Ive been around a bit MmeLindor (I say that in a posting on mumsnet way, not ive been sexually easy kind of way, although....)

ASByatt · 06/09/2011 11:55

You said it yourself- it's for 2 hours

If money is tight, it doesn't seem to make sense, surely? Your DC could be utterly overwhelmed by the whole thing (30 adults???) and you run the risk of stressing about everyone enjoying it enough to warrant the money.

And honestly, don't worry about what other people do for their DC - do what is right for your family, and anyone worth knowing will love it anyway.

RedOnion · 06/09/2011 11:55

"Why would both parents of each child come anyway? Is this another MN custom ive missed out on? Both parents of pfb going to soft play party, looking lovingly into each others eyes as pfb takes a bite out of someone elses pfb's arm..."

Classic!

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