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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to spend nearly £350 on a soft play party for a 3yr old?

127 replies

choceyes · 06/09/2011 11:40

DH thinks so.

DS will be 3 in November and I realy want to have a proper party for him, but our house is too small to accomodate 15 toddlers and their parents (whose house is??).

I want to do a soft play party and it is going to cost £341 for 15 children and 30 adults, inclusive of food, party bags, 2hr of soft play etc. Nothing for us to do but turn up.

Is this a normal price for a party like this? DH thinks we can't afford it. Well money is tight as we pay nearly a grand a month for childcare for two DCs and I only work 3 days a week, so we don't have much spare money.
But DS is invited to a few parties like this and we've never done anything like this. HAd a party at home for his 1st birthday, which was fine, but the kids were a lot younger and more easily entertained.

So AIBU for spending a small fortune on a party for my 3yr old when money is tight, and is it worth it?

OP posts:
Original poster
choceyes · 06/09/2011 11:56

also want to say that I do want the adults there as I can't supervise that many 3yr olds and also the parents are friends of ours so can't just ask to drop and go.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 06/09/2011 11:56

there must be cheaper soft play places.
dont go for teh exclusive place
this would indeed cost you that amnount

www.topsyturvyworld.com/parties_2-11.php

but there are defintiely cheaper places at local sports centres other soft play centre

eg here the bronze party is jsut 8 per head so total 120 and has food, play party bags !
www.bramleysbig.co.uk/parties.cfm

and that is two in london

cestlavielife · 06/09/2011 11:57

at those 2 places the adutls dont pay to go in

Fecklessdizzy · 06/09/2011 11:57

Shock Definitely silly money!

I'm a big fan of paying someone else to take the strain when it comes to kid's birthdays but that's daft. You don't have to invite all those adults and the birthday boy might well be a bit boggled by the whole thing, to be honest, and there's nothing worse than knowing you've spent too much and your DC howling their head off cos they're tired/stressed/fed-up.

Relax a bit and down-size ... Loads of good suggestions up-thread. At 3 they won't remember much about it anyway Grin

Save the big splash 'til they're 13 and want you to take them and ten of their dearest chums to Alton Towers ... WineWineWine

MamaChocoholic · 06/09/2011 11:58

yabu and crazy. ds1's favourite parties were small affairs, 5 kids at a house, with musical bumps, plate decorating and pass the parcel. that's special. your dc won't play with all 15 kids, and probably goes to softplay fairly often anyway.

Fennel · 06/09/2011 11:58

You want to save your party enthusiasm, we did big parties for 2, 3, 4 year olds (not that expensive though) and now my dc are late primary age I am bored of organising parties, but can't stop now cos they are at an age when they really want them. I wish we'd started later.

fourkids · 06/09/2011 11:58

that's bonkers!!! :)

Chrysanthemum5 · 06/09/2011 11:59

I'd ask them to re-check the price. Some soft play centres charge £1 per adult, but most don't for parties. Even at £10/head (which would be expensive - most are £8 or £9) it should be £150. Unless they are charging you a fortune for party bags in which case I'd not bother with those - a bit of cake and a pocket money toy will be fine.

Chrysanthemum5 · 06/09/2011 12:01

Oh, just seen it is 2 hours of soft play. That is too long in my experience. an hour of soft play, then the party tea then home - that's about as much as the children (and adults) can cope with without major melt downs.

MagicFingerGoesPop · 06/09/2011 12:01

TBH I think the problem is that you mentioned the adults. Most party places assume the adult will attend. So, get a quote for the 15 toddlers.

At our party places, you turn up and say I am here for X party. They then let you through the door. The adults of the invited DC often stay to chat and , wait for it...BUY THEIR OWN COFFEE! YOU do not have to provide it. No-one expects you to.

All you are paying for, and all anyone would expect you to pay for, are the toddlers. NOT siblings. State on the invite that you have paid for invitees only, siblings allowed to attend but will be an extra charge. (at our it is only £1, but I imagine yours would be different. The adult bringing the sibling pays for this, NOT YOU)

Original poster
choceyes · 06/09/2011 12:04

It is the going rate for a softplay party as I have shopped around. They charge adults entrance fees too.

I'm glad I posted now. I hate softplay places anyway, especially on a weekend. I'm rapidly going off the idea now.

OP posts:
PandaG · 06/09/2011 12:07

much cheaper option - church hall say £20 an hour - for 3 hours - 2 hours of party and half hour either side for set up and clear up = £60

food - do not spend too much. Sandwiches, cherry toms, cucumber sticks, grapes, few packets of crisps, chocolate biscuits, cake - £30
plus tea and coffee for adults - minimal cost.

activities - a couple of games - pass the parcle and pin the tail on the whatever £5 tops

make your own party crowns - roll of leftover wallpaper, glue sticks and sparkly bits and stickers - raid 'Works' or similar for bits £10 tops

take your DCs own toys, and borrow ride on toys from friends that are coming

party bags - get a pack of books from Book people, can usually get a pack for < £1 a book. Add a mini choc bar and piece of cake. say £20 all in.

£125 all in, cheaper if you can find a cheaper hall

MmeLindor. · 06/09/2011 12:07

What general area of the country are you in? Maybe someone can recommend a local place.

And I would not be offering food for the adults. Or even paying for their entrance fees, unless you specifically ask a couple of them to come and help.

Original poster
choceyes · 06/09/2011 12:08

We can afford £150 and I think DH will be agreeable to it. But i don't understand why they are chargin another £200 for adults just to attend? I know it is a £1 for an adult to go to softplay, so that doesn't make sense.

I shall phone them up again and ask a breakdown of the cost.

OP posts:
Original poster
choceyes · 06/09/2011 12:09

It is not including food for the adults.

Including food for adults they quoted around £450 I think.

OP posts:
skybluepearl · 06/09/2011 12:09

are you mad? thats a crazy amount to spend. contact some local leisure centres and one of them will have an inflatable assult course or other type of fun party on offer. ask them what parites they do. ours costs 112 for 12 kids. includes food for kids. all you have to do is order coffees for the adults when you get there. soft play parties cost about 120 here for 12 kids or 160 for 16 kids and includes food/party bags but not cake.

ChristinedePizan · 06/09/2011 12:12

I paid £7/head for 2 hours of softplay inc food. Adults were free (have never heard of a soft play that charges for adults!)

Hiring a bouncy castle is £50-100. My friend did that the other day - 10 kids or so, similar number of adults, sandwiches and crisps for the kids, cans for the adults, everyone had a lovely time. Must have cost around £120

SenoritaViva · 06/09/2011 12:12

Crikey, where do you live?

I agree with others, honestly a small party is much better at this age. Or a local hall and bouncy castle - you don't need much else. My friend had a bouncy castle (in her garden) for a 4 year old party and it kept them entertained for the whole time. I also stayed and did the face painting (very badly). You can have musical statues up your sleeve (only one prize required) and pass the parcel. THB since presumably quite a few will be almost 3 party games are still quite difficult for them.

Food wise just make some sandwiches (ham, cheese and marmite), some crisps and cake. They'll be happy. Give them a balloon or something to take away. It will cost half the amount...

MmeLindor. · 06/09/2011 12:13

That sounds strange. Maybe they have made a mistake.

Tbh, I would be looking at alternative venues. My cousin has a child friendly cafe, and does birthday parties. I have no idea what she charges, but certainly nowhere near that much. And you get proper homemade food. Maybe somewhere around your area does that kind of thing.

An0therName · 06/09/2011 12:14

get some other quotes from other places - must be more than 1 soft play in your area surely. I would say 10 pound a head is about average 1hour/45 mins of soft play , then tea and party bags - you can do cheaper normally in the week. I split with a friend when I have done them as well

HappyMummyOfOne · 06/09/2011 12:15

It sounds really expensive, we've done them with more children (you dont pay for adults) including priavate hire of the place for half that.

MsGee · 06/09/2011 12:15

If money is tight its a lot of money. We did hot dogs for my DD 3rd birthday, hired out the nursery and got an entertainer. After kids were fed, adults ate the rest of the hot dogs.

DD cried for most of the party, it was just too overwhelming for her, despite her spending 3 days a week at the nursery.

BerryLellow · 06/09/2011 12:16

YABU, just hire a hall and do it yourself. All the children want to do is run around like headless chickens, you don't need much specialist equipment for that!

And at three they will enjoy the day but not remember it later, honestly.

Fo0ffyShmoofer · 06/09/2011 12:18

Yabu

It's unnecessary for a 3 yr old.

NotADudeExactly · 06/09/2011 12:19

You are inviting 45 people altogether to a two hour party for a THREE YEAR OLD?!?! And with CATERING?

YABVU, sorry! He's three - chances are he won't ever remember the day later. TBH, the only vague memory I have of any childhood birthday party of mine is inviting my first crush who then didn't attend aged seven. (I do remember the party where my friend's mum set fire to the curtains with the candles on the cake. :o )

Why not throw your DS a big party when he's old enough to really appreciate it?