Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset over my neighbours lack of care for my sons?

41 replies

bubby64 · 06/09/2011 10:32

I am fuming over my neighbour who was supposed to look after my 10yr old DS's yesterday. Turns out she left them and her 2 youngest (8 and 9)with her 19yr old son (who has just moved back home after getting into trouble where he was living). He entertained himself by throwing things at them,wouldnt let them play outside, had music blasting out at deafening level, wouldn't let them play upstairs in the kids rooms, play x-box or even watch TV, all which they would normally be allowed to do there. He even had the 4 of them doing his chores! Said he would "beat them up" if they didn't! He was also mistreated their dog, which really upset my two animal loving kids.Angry
She was meant to be there with them for most of the day, she had said she would have to be out for "an hour or so", with her DD(16)which I was not too worried about, but she went out at 10 and didnt get back to 4pm! I only found out what had happened when my 2 got upset at bed time and wanted to sleep in the same room, as (her son) had threatened to come over and "get them" if they said anything!Angry
She offered to look after the boys for me and I am having her 2 here today, but if she knew she was going to be out all day, she should not have offered to child mind, she knows that I had other options available. I would have looked after her 2 anyway today.
She has not returned my calls, and even sent her kids over to mine this morning with her daughter, rather than bring them over herself.

OP posts:
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 06/09/2011 10:35

I'd have sent her children back to her, and then had some very strong words with the 19 year old man who thought it reasonable to intimidate and frighten little children. Twat.

RedOnion · 06/09/2011 10:37

I would send her children straight back, what a vile cow she sounds. Then I would go round and "beat up" the 19 yo who bullies children and animals.

RedOnion · 06/09/2011 10:37

Oops, xpost!

LottieJenkins · 06/09/2011 10:38

I agree with Chickens,,,,,,, I feel sorry for the younger siblings of the idiot 19year old. He is hardly a great older role model is he?? Hmm

ImeldaM · 06/09/2011 10:40

You need to have a serious talk with her.

flack · 06/09/2011 10:40

yanbu... but If she's ashamed to see you maybe she didn't expect him to behave like that, does he have a track record of being a total GIT towards his younger siblings? It may be a new situation for her that she's still figuring out how to deal with (can't be nice to have her immature badly behaved adult son back home). One person's "an hour or so" can mean up to 6 hours to someone else, I can understand you wanting to bring her up on that, but it may be a different perception of whether wording needed to be exact.

Would you complain if he had behaved nicely, instead?

Hope your son can chalk it up as one of those experiences.

ArseyContarsie · 06/09/2011 10:41

playing devil's advocate for the OPs neighbour for a minute, perhaps she was running late this morning, hence the older DD dropping kids off and not being able to return calls.

but

the bloke she left in charge needs a bit of a talking to. and the neighbour needs to hear why.

Mitmoo · 06/09/2011 10:42

What a shit! I'd go around and tell him the children's father/uncle the boxer, karate black belt, just on on parole for ABH/GBH which ever is worst and will be having a euphemistic not that he'd understand the term "quiet word" with him about threatening children.

Clearly she's got to be off the childminding duties from here on in.

Vallhala · 06/09/2011 10:43

Agree with RedOnion.

Let's just say that they may not like or want to talk to me again afterwards but by god the little shit would never bully my children or mistreat a dog again...

TheCrackFox · 06/09/2011 10:44

Actually, I think that is very worrying behaviour for a 19yr old, he really should know better.

I would arrange for someone else to look after your children in the future as she has shown that she cannnot be trusted. Feel sorry for her younger children.

RealityVonCrapp · 06/09/2011 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flack · 06/09/2011 10:45

What were the chores that the 19yo got them all doing?
(Wow, I wish I could discipline my 4 DC that effectively, without resorting to cruelty to animals, of course)

BobblyGussets · 06/09/2011 10:45

Go and tell the idiotic, abusive 19 year old (in front of his Mother when she gets back) that you are thinking of informing the police about his threats and mistreatment of your children.

Bloodymary · 06/09/2011 10:48

Exactly what Mimoo said.

The 19 year old is a pathetic little scroat, and I would be having serious words with him myself!!

DoMeDon · 06/09/2011 10:51

What bobbly said. I would have sent her DC back too.

PissesGlitter · 06/09/2011 10:53

good god woman get round there and slap the little prick!!!
or be sensible and have a word with the mother and son about his assualt/abuse of the children
make sure they know if he even looks at the kids again the police slap happy uncle will be paying him a visit

kitbit · 06/09/2011 10:53

What chickens said. He's a bully and I'd be over there giving him an earful.

And breaking up that particular babysitting partnership.

mummymccar · 06/09/2011 10:54

Awful! What a nasty little manchild this 19 year old is. Youdefinitely need to have a word with both the mother and him. Appalling that he harmed the children & animals and then just expects to get away with it - don't let him! I'd send her children back too, why should you look after hers when she has treated your so abismally?

Birdsgottafly · 06/09/2011 11:03

I would speak to her, if your children are not exaggeratting she may be getting bullied by him, also.

Going round and threating him, isn't going to teach him anything, unless you can follow it through, in either case it's just going to start trouble.

EsmeWeatherwax · 06/09/2011 11:05

So far out of line its unbelievable. I'd never send my kids there again while the 19 year old was even in the house, and I'd be having major words with your neighbour. He sounds like an abusive bully, and not to be trusted around kids. Awful behaviour. Yanbu!

Original poster
bubby64 · 06/09/2011 11:08

I must admit I did feel like saying her kids couldn't come over today, but then they would be left with that shit of a son, I couldn't do that to them, they are innocents.
flacks Chores were washing up, cleaning bathroom and loo, tidying up the mess he had made in her living room!
I am going to take her kids back to her this evening, and let her know what has happened, i spoke quietly to her 2 DC this morning, they said mum doesn't know what their brother does, as they are scared to tell her! From what I gather, she thinks all is well when she leaves them with him.

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 06/09/2011 11:12

You need to tell her as it doesn't sound like he can be trusted to look after his younger siblings.

He sounds like a revolting character and I must admit alarm bells were ringing for me when you wrote: " i spoke quietly to her 2 DC this morning, they said mum doesn't know what their brother does, as they are scared to tell her!"

flack · 06/09/2011 11:13

In that case I'd be more :( for her than Angry. If no one tells her, how is she to know there's a problem?

Original poster
bubby64 · 06/09/2011 11:15

Oh, and the abuse to the dog was "zapping" it with an elctric fly swat when it started barking- i feel like "zapping" him with a horse prod at the moment!

OP posts:
MmeLindor. · 06/09/2011 11:15

Oh, you must tell her. Those poor kids.

And don't let your children near her house while he is still staying there.

Swipe left for the next trending thread