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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder what exactly is the point where you say, yes, we've saved enough to start a family?

35 replies

GeneralCustardsHardHat · 04/09/2011 14:47

Everyone says "we need to be in a position where we've saved enough money to start a family"

What is that point?

OP posts:
Angel786 · 04/09/2011 14:52

I guess to be able to provide all you want to for a baby/child? Personally I didn't save in advance just rolled with it.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 04/09/2011 14:52

Depends what you want from family life, I guess. We wanted a stable environment where money stress didn't affect our relationship, as DH grew up in quite the opposite environment to that. We wanted to both be able to choose 'lifestyle' jobs, which for us meant DH getting completely out of his industry and retraining, so that we didn't end up living segregated SAHM/absent working father lives. We wanted housing security because we're both homebodies.

So for us, that meant we paid the house off the same month we started TTC. I realise that's not in everyone's ability, though; we spent eight years working towards that goal, and only did it because we bought before the market soared. But it meant that DH could afford to go and do a PhD on a scholarship and I work part-time, and we scrape by because of having no mortgage. We're pretty poor, day to day, but we both spend loads of time with DD, which was important to us.

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 04/09/2011 14:54

When the line turns blue.

donthateme · 04/09/2011 14:56

Does everyone say that??

Ime many people wait until they are well established in their career, but that's more about a practical common sense view of earning a reasonable amount and feeling that you have invested enough time and effort to feel it's a sensible time to take maternity leave. I am not aware of people actually saving masses of cash before having kids . I do, however, think parents Are tending towards thinking about the spacing of their Children more these days, due to financial constraints; I know several families who waited until child 1 is in school or at least receiving some free nursery hours before they have child 2, because of childcare costs. But I don't know any couples who manage to save loads before having kids.

ViviPru · 04/09/2011 14:59

I've never heard anyone say the need to have saved enough, and I agree, what is the point, as if you're ever going to save that much in advance!!!

Stating that you'd prefer to be in a financially stable position to start a family is different. I'd prefer to be in a financially stable position to start a family.

ViviPru · 04/09/2011 15:00

ha - great minds donthaheme

Takitezee · 04/09/2011 15:25

I've only ever met one person who said that.

We bought all the initial baby equipment when we still had two incomes and then adjusted our spending when I started maternity leave. This was back in the day when we had 6 weeks at 90% and then about £60 a week until maternity leave ended when baby was about 4 months.

We did buy a house, get married and made sure dh was on the upward path first so were in a stable position.

Bellavita · 04/09/2011 15:29

We didn't say that, but we made sure we certainly had saved enough money beforehand to take care of losing my money whilst on maternity.

Original poster
GeneralCustardsHardHat · 04/09/2011 15:35

Ok maybe it's just everyone around me who says that :o Hmm

OP posts:
cjbartlett · 04/09/2011 15:44

We didn't say that just made sure that we could afford to take maternity leave and go part time once the baby was born

Ooopsadaisy · 04/09/2011 15:53

Not us either. We never said it.

The answer is: you will never save enough but the older they get, the more expensive it becomes. Then you need to add in inflation, factor in income changes, fuel/food price rises etc. So much of it is the unknown so you have to roll with it.

Carrotsandcelery · 04/09/2011 16:00

We just waited until Dh had a job Grin

redexpat · 04/09/2011 16:02

We just used the savings to buy a decent family car with space for a pram, so not much left now and baby due in 4 weeks. I think you just roll with circumstances, and don't feel bad if you can't give them all an ipos, ipad and macbook pro for their first birthday!

Cocoflower · 04/09/2011 16:05

Loads of my friends say that.

I think what they really mean is "but how about my holiday/beer/designer shoe/starbucks addiction fund"! Grin

MixedClassBaby · 04/09/2011 16:10

well said, StuckInTheMiddleWithYou. Grin

Original poster
GeneralCustardsHardHat · 04/09/2011 16:11

I'm beginning to think it's a cop out when really you just need to say "i don't want one" or "not really wanting to start one right now"

OP posts:
cat64 · 04/09/2011 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MmmmmCake · 04/09/2011 16:19

we never saved a penny

just thought yes now is a time we can manage if I can give up my work to have a child and be a mother.

Kayano · 04/09/2011 16:28

All bills paid
No debt
Not in overdraft
House all how we like bar potential nursery .

Go!

cjbartlett · 04/09/2011 16:32

You do have to think can I afford the rent/ mortgage while on maternity leave and if one of you is a sahp or goes part time

HappyMummyOfOne · 04/09/2011 16:32

Financially planning for children is part of the responsibility of being a parent. Some save to cover maternity leave, others save to cover the pre school childcare costs.

Lots dont give it a moments thought though and hope that tax credits etc will cover them.

Rudawakening · 04/09/2011 16:55

For us it isn't about saving as such it is about paying our mortgage down before we have children so that I can work part time or not at all and we would be able to manage and not have any money stress as far as we can plan for.

I know a lot of people who didn't think about it a bit and are now having a lot of money problems to the point of having to chose between feeding themselves or their DC.

hairylights · 04/09/2011 17:01

If you're on a reasonable wage it's a bit if a sulky thing to say. As long as we can afford for me to take maternity leave I'm happy.

Inflames · 04/09/2011 17:48

I had 10 years of being told it would never happen then a year to try before hysterectomy would be likely only option - saving didn't cone into it!!

Inflames · 04/09/2011 17:50

But we both have good jobs etc and only claim child benefit. Buttony was the last thought, not the first.