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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel short changed by feminism?

309 replies

ThroughTheRoundWindow · 03/09/2011 21:09

So here's the thing. Back in the day the young women of the baby boom generation demanded the choice to work or care for their babies. some of them went out to work, and because their families had two incomes they could afford to spend more on their houses and on filling them with consumer goods.

But more families with more money pushed up the price of houses.

Roll on a generation and it is impossible to afford a mortgage on one moderate income. To pay for a house you both need to work. Well that isn't true, we could have either bought a ex-council house on a dodgy estate, or I could have married a much richer man. (But we couldn't bring ourselves to raise a child on an estate and I fell in love with a council employee).

Had a been born a generation earlier my husband's local government salary would have paid for our modest house in an unfashionable suburb and I could (if I had chosen) have given up work to care full time for our family. Instead I have no choice - I have to return to work and leave my baby in daycare.

Without feminism I could have done what comes most naturally to me and been a homemaker. Feminism stole that option from me. Now I have to leave my baby to be raised by a stranger and go out to work in a job I care nothing for and get nothing (except a salary) from.

Ok, a little maudlin from too much beer, but someone explain to me why I am genuinely unreasonable to feel this way?

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministDragon · 03/09/2011 23:41

(As an aside ... I do believe that criticizing someone's English (even if, as in this case, incorrectly) is considered the last resort of those who have come to the uneasy realization they have no argument left ...)

LRDTheFeministDragon · 03/09/2011 23:42

edd, how am I 'going by statistics'? Are you confusing me with someone else?

SiamoFottuti · 03/09/2011 23:43

Statistics don't lie. Just the people reporting them. Perhaps you don't understand the stats like most people?

moonferret · 03/09/2011 23:44

Funny how HereBeBollox lauches "personal attacks" and they aren't removed isn't it, Prolesworth?

moonferret · 03/09/2011 23:45

LDR...you're quite right, must be why HereBeBollox tried that on me, despite the fact I hadn't made an error!

LRDTheFeministDragon · 03/09/2011 23:45

Well, since you mention it, moon, I can agree with you there. It is funny. Grin

LRDTheFeministDragon · 03/09/2011 23:46

Um ... she criticized the content of what you said. Former and formal mean quite different things.

Poweredbypepsi · 03/09/2011 23:46

YABU I am a sahm we rent. If I worked we could probably afford to buy but we took the choice that having someone at home was more important. My grandmothers bothed also took that choice and as a result both sets of grandparents never bought their own homes but lived with parents until those parents died and they inherited the house. The reason I couldnt do this is that my dad would have been horrified at the thought of me living with him past late teens and certainly not after i was married with children as would many other parents of his generation (he is mid fifties). Perhaps that is another reason for the current housing struggle - lack of willingness to share housing.

moonferret · 03/09/2011 23:47

stripeybump, whether you or other lurkers like it or not, I have a no tolerance approach to cyber bullies and abusers. You need to look back and see who started it, as ever. Yes, *HereBeBollox"...

stripeybump · 03/09/2011 23:49

Eh? Cyber-bullies? Confused

It's only you who has had posts deleted. Throw buns if you must, but making actual points related to the thread makes more interesting reading.

moonferret · 03/09/2011 23:52

Erm, LRD, "former" and "formal" do indeed mean quite different things. But I haven't used either word in any of my posts! So quite what that individual was on about is anyone's guess!

LRDTheFeministDragon · 03/09/2011 23:53

What's your problem then?!

moonferret · 03/09/2011 23:54

stripeybump...yes, because a certain person was getting them deleted! I can't be bothered doing (or attempting!) the same...

I love how the extreme feminists here defend each other "no matter what", almost like a gang of children...very amusing to see.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 03/09/2011 23:54

If you have a genuine issue with her posts and MN rules, do what you're supposed to do, report them, see what HQ says, and carry on. It's not hard.

stripeybump · 03/09/2011 23:55

Are you intentionally derailing the thread moonferret, out of interest?

stripeybump · 03/09/2011 23:55

Grin at the idea of me being an 'extreme feminist'

LRDTheFeministDragon · 03/09/2011 23:55

Yes, we defend each other all the time. We never disagree. Hmm

Darn, where's Dittany and SaF to have an argument with me when I need them?

moonferret · 03/09/2011 23:55

LRD, why did you point out to me that "formal" and "former" mean different things, when I have used neither word at any point?
Is it because you feel you must stick up for HereBeBollox at all costs?

LRDTheFeministDragon · 03/09/2011 23:57

stripey, you're now enjoying the peculiar position of having argued with both rad fems and anti-feminists in one week. Have fun! Wink

AnnieLobeseder · 03/09/2011 23:57

What a shame to see an interesting, if misguided thread brought down by pointless personal attacks.

Do you feel you've achieved anything, made any valid points or contributed meaningfully to this conversation, moonferret?

Are/were you moondog, btw?

moonferret · 03/09/2011 23:57

LRD, the only posts I have ever reported here have been ones which have been illegal to state. I'm not pathetic enough to report others, as certain people here continually do.

stripeybump..you've got the wrong person...d'oh!!

AfternoonDelight · 03/09/2011 23:58

I would only blame feminism up to a point. It's not just feminism that causes house prices to go up.

The way I see it is, without feminism, woman would have stayed at home until they were married, and then they would have lived with their husbands.

More women are able to get higher paid jobs = more women can afford mortgages alone = more women can live alone = less houses available because one person can now live in a house that could possibly occupy two or three people.

You can't blame feminism completely though. I blame the bastard banks.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 03/09/2011 23:59

moon, I pointed it out because you accused her of criticizing your English. Her comment was about content. I can't be arsed to go back and see if she made a mistake or if you did, and I don't much care ...

garlicnutter · 03/09/2011 23:59

Massive 'Like' to rainbowinthesky Sat 03-Sep-11 23:17:25 :)

Not for economic argument, which some people seem to have trouble grasping (perhaps it's all those percentages), but for the ground-level reminder of why we needed feminism and what it's already achieved.

If the cost of buying a house is your biggest issue with feminism, it's done a good job Grin

stripeybump · 04/09/2011 00:00

LRD Grin I'm having an identity crisis